Innocent's Seductress (4th Gen #17)

Chapter 47

I love Ckim since then. I tried to suppress my feelings for years but when I was about to make her mine pest come to block my way.

A schoolmate, Lee, Sebastian,...a Benjamin.

All of them are fucking idiot. Bakit kung kailan liligawan ko si Ckim ay saka pa sisingit ang mga asungot?

I never come to this far if I will let Ckim out of my sight. I will love her, I will bend on my knees serving her.

Ckim is mine. Mine alone.

Heilan stop the car on the parking lot of her condo building. It was so quiet that only her sobs can be heard.

"Where did I go wrong, Ckim?" Heilan asked breaking the silence.

"Everything is wrong, Heilan. Everything is just so fucking wrong." Mura niya at lumabas sa kotse nito.

Heilan went out of her car and followed her. Hinawakan siya nito sa braso at muling pinaharap sa kanya. He held her face to make her look at him.

"Saang banda ba may mali at itatama ko?" Mahinang anas ng binata.

Napahikbi siya at inalis ang kamay nito sa kanyang pisngi.

"Just drop it, Heilan! Mas lalo mo akong sinasaktan!" Hikbi niya at lumayo dito pero matigas pa rin ang binata at sumunod sa kanya.

"I don't get you, Mommy."

"Oh, you do! J-just let me go, Heilan. i knew everything now. You're just umdery mother's manipulation that's why you date me, you made me fall in love with you, you made me fucking love you too much that it drove me to madness but...you do not. You don't really love me." She sobbed.

Shock is visible to Heilan's eyes. She hit the bull's eye. Bistadong-bistado na ito.

"I'm actually doing you a favor by breaking up with you. Y-you can...you can go back with your life without me. We're over." She bravely declare and turn her back at him.

Tumakbo siya papasok sa condo building na walang Heilan na sumunod. Walang Heilan na pumigil sa kanya para sabihin na magpapaliwanag ito. Walang Heilan na nagsabing natutunan na rin siya nitong mahalin.

Napahikbi siya. She can't clearly see what's ahead of her so she bumped into something...or someone.

"Ckim?"

Napasinghot siya at napaangat ng tingin sa kung sino iyon. Her only friend.

"Gerald..."

"Are you okay? Bibisitahin sana kita, ilang araw ka na kasing hindi pumasok sa trabaho." Nag-aalalang saad nito at inakay siya papasok sa loob ng building.

"Life is just a bitch to me." Sagot niya rito.

"Si Heilan ba?" Maingat na tanong nito.

Tipid lang siyang tumango dito.

Gerald sighed and open the elevator for her. Sabay silang pumasok, nakaalalay pa rin ito sa kanya.

"Base on your puff eyes, you've been crying. May problema ba kayo?"

"Wala na kami." Tipid na sagot niya.

"He's an idiot for wasting you. Hindi niya alam na maraming nakaabang at nakapila para sa 'yo."

Maraming pagpipilian, pero isa lang ang pipiliin niya ng paulit-ulit. Kahit mahirap, kahit masakit.

Muli na naman siyang napaiyak kaya hinagod nito ang likod niya. Nang makarating na sila sa condo niya hanggang doon na lang si Gerald.

"Ckim..."

Lumingon lang siya dito. Maliit itong ngumiti sa kanya.

"I like you before, but I don't have the balls to confess. I'm not confessing my feelings to hit on you, ha? I'm just telling this because I want you to realize that somebody out there, somebody near you admires you. Don't question your self worth for other people who doesn't see it. They're just blind."

Tila may lumambot sa dibdib niya sa narinig. Listening that good and sweet message from her only friend somehow makes her heart feel at ease. She wasn't alone on this journey. Malalgpasan niya rin ito.

Niyakap niya si Gerald. Natatawang yumakap naman ito pabalik.

"Thank you, Ge. You're the best friend." Nakangiting saad niya at nagpaalam na dito.

Pumasok na siya sa loob at nagtungo sa silid kung saan binagsak niya ang sarili sa kama.

This is just a phase, Ckim. Life is like a sky. It isn't full of rainbows, there are storms and yet there's another sunrise for another day.

The next day pinilit niyang bumango para magtrabaho. She needs distraction para hindi siya umiyak. Pagod na siya kakaluha, she need to gain back her confidence and destroy the motherfuckers who shame her on public.

Wearing her red corporate attire, she applied red lipstick as well. Sinuklay niya ang buhok saka mataray na tumingin sa salamin.

Lumabas na siya ng unit niya at sakting may nakasalubong siyang media na mukhang galing lang sa pag-uusisa sa kabilang unit. May starlet ring nakatira.

"Ckim!"

"Si Miss Ckim!"

"May nakakita po sa inyo na umiiyak kayo kagabi sa parking lot kasama si Mr. Benjamin. Wala na po ba kayo?"

"You, look so good right now! Is it a revenge look?"

May naglakas na loob na humarang sa dinaraanan niya kaya napatigil siya.

"You look so stress the past few days base on the paparazzi photos. And you look great now, any tips, Miss how to cope up fast?" Tanong nito.

She paused and stare at the woman and smirk.

"Pretend."

"Fake it?" Gulat na tanong nito.

"Yeah. Fake it 'til we make it. I mean, why not?" She said and flipped her hair and walk away while they're still following her with those flashes of camera.

She felt her showbiz life is back.

Bumagal ang paglalakad niya ng makita ang pamilyar na mukha. It wasn't a friend nor a family.

But a stranger that she met once.

"Miss Ckim! Hinanap ko po talaga kita at nagtanong-tanong po ako para lang makaharap sa inyo." Sabi ng isang matandang lalaki na panay ang pagyuko sa kanya.

"Po?" Gulat na tanong niya.

It's the taxi driver! 'Yong binayaran niya ng 20 million bilang pamasahe.

"Labis-labis po ang pasasalamat ko sa inyo. Kasi kung hindi dahil sa perang binigay niyo b-baka po wala na po ang anak ko. Ginamit ko po ang pera pang-opera at sa mga gamot ng nag-iisa kong anak. Maraming salamat po talaga at hahanap po ako ng paraang mabayaran iyon." Sabi nito at muntikan ng lumuhod pero agad niyang hinawakan ito sa braso.

"Tatanggapin ko po ang salamat niyo at sapat na 'yon bilang kabayaran. Ang mahalaga ay bumuti ang lagay ng anak niyo." She sincerely said.

She didn't even think about the 20 million after that. Wala rin siyang bahid ng pagsisisi na binigay niya iyon at natutuwa siyang ginamiy iyon sa mabuting paraan.

And that gives her reason to move forward. Maraming problema ang mundo. There are bigger problems out there compared to her. Mas mabigat pa, mas mahirap masolusyunan. Tho she's not invalidating her problems and feelings nor other people. Lahat naman kasi tayo naghihirap, but what she mean is, she saw it as an inspiration to move forward. They are striving to passed the challenges, why wouldn't she.

In tagalog, kung kaya ng iba, pwes siya hindi. Charot.

"Ang bait-bait niyo po talaga. Kaya hindi ako naniniwala sa mga sinasabi nilang bruha ka."

Yawa.