Letters To You (A Troyler AU)

Chapter 35

(Filler Chapter, it's not a chapter actually needed but I'm writing it to prolong you guys reading what happens between Steele and Troye because I know how much you people LLOOOOoooOoOoVe waiting ;))

Ps. This is all just Tyler's thoughts, nothing is really going on. It's kind of important now that I think about it

Tyler's POV:

I remember one of the nights before I went to the park with Troye, we were talking about our coming out stories. He said he wasn't ready to talk about it, because apparently it had been fairly recently, but I didn't mind, instantly diving into my story.

I told him how my mom and step-dad were perfectly fine with me being gay. In fact, when I came out, my mom didn't even look at me before saying 'okay'. She then explained it's because she had been wondering it ever since I was young. That made the both of us laugh, but when I looked a Troye I could see almost a hint of sadness in his eyes. I wasn't sure why. Why would he be sad by such a happy coming out story?

Of course now I realize it's only because that's the kind of story he was envious of. Compared to his, it was like going on a fucking trip to Disneyland. Because I saw the sadness, I changed the topic to something about hair colors—how I was planning to die mine a white-blonde kind of color, but not as light.

The night of the park though, after he told me about how his mom reacted and how his brother would react, I actually got scared for his life. What would happen if his brother found out? Would he get ignored? Beat up? Kicked out? I could feel his shoulder shaking against my chest though so I remember holding him closer and whispered my second coming out story in his ear.

My biological dad.

He had heard it through one of his friends and wanted to know if it was true, which I told him it was. He then told me he had enough money to fix it and that I could be fixed, but he stayed calm, as though I was sick and he was saying he could take me to get some medicine.

Of course, I got upset. It's not like he was a big part of my life or anything, but still, it was my dad. I told Troye how I walked away, kept him away from my life, and how despite his words, I was genuinely happy now.

That seemed to calm him down. He stopped crying and was now stroking his fingers in my hair, which calmed me down too as I retold my bitter memories. It was actually a very sweet moment, despite the circumstances, and I'm glad I told him.

But I was so utterly terrified when Troye went back to Australia. Of course, I was nervous he wouldn't talk to me, but I was also scared of what would happen. Steele had to find out sooner or later, and I feared it would be sooner. I just wanted Troye wrapped safely in my arms, where I could tell him he was OKAY and that everything would be perfectly ALRIGHT.

But no, he had to leave. So his plane took off and I was left sitting there wondering if the next time I see him if he'd be changed at all. Or, maybe there wouldn't be a last time, maybe I wouldn't be able to see him again. Maybe his family would find out I'm gay and try to separate us forever.

But that was the least of my worries. Maybe he was going to go back to Australia and be hurt by his own brother. Maybe he'd be traumatized. Maybe he'd become weak.

My heart stung at these heavy thoughts, but terribly enough they were very realistic thoughts which scared me down to my very core. Who knows? Maybe he was getting hurt right now and I couldn't help him. Maybe he was scared to death, and I couldn't wrap him in my arms. Maybe things weren't alright.

A-N: I needed to get the feelings down for next chapter so I wrote this. Idek what this is (insert laughing emoji here) Ehhhh comment