Not long after the whole Angela thing, Argyle and Jonathan showed up, high as kites, and took us all home. We were sat in the back, my arm around El and her head on my shoulder as the two local stoners attempted comfort.
"I know this is like, upsetting and shit, but like, that future prom queen is gonna be fine. I mean it was just like, rubber wheels." Argyle said.
"Plastic." Jonathan said. "Not like hard plastic. Just... just the soft kind."
"Totally." Argyle nodded.
"Should they be driving?" I asked Will quietly. "They're high, right?"
Will shrugged and sighed. "They're always driving like this."
"But d'you ever wonder why the wheels aren't wood, man?" Argyle asked. "Or metal? It's so people don't get hurt when they get shmacked."
"Oh." Jonathan said thoughtfully.
"Yeah. Because it happens more than you think, man." Argyle looked back at us. "Roller skate attacks."
"Man." Jonathan said. "Hey at least it wasn't an ice skate."
"That nose would have been sliced clean off!" Argyle said excitedly.
Jonathan yelled and held his nose.
"Y'know maybe this isn't helping." I said to them. "Maybe shut up and watch the road. Y'know?"
"Sorry man." Argyle said. "Just trying to help."
I sighed and leaned my head against El. "And I thought Eddie was bad high."
Back at El's house was none other than Murray Bauman making dinner. Safe to say it was the last thing the sober ones all needed.
"Well well!" Murray yelled. "Aren't you lot a sight for sore eyes huh?!"
"Hi Murray." Jonathan smiled and waved.
"You kids like risotto?" Murray asked excitedly.
"Yeah." Jonathan said.
"Mr. Bunman?" I asked seriously.
"Bauman." Murry said. "Murray Bauman."
I nodded. "I know. I'm just being annoying. What the fuck are you doing here?"
"That," Joyce said, walking in. "Can be explained over dinner. Jonathan, help us plate up please?"
We all helped lay the table and plate up, because Jonathan was too high to do it, and as we ate Murray explained what the fuck he was doing there.
"So in other words," I said. "You were here on business and couldn't find a motel."
Murray's smile faded. "Yes. If you want to simplify things."
"I was looking for a simplified answer, yes." I said, stabbing my fork into risotto and eating.
"You know something." Joyce said. "I have something to tell you. I have a business trip."
"Business trip? What business trip?" Will asked.
"This thing came up at work. Very last minute. And it turns out I have to go to a conference tomorrow. In Alaska."
"Alaska?!" Me and Will said in unison.
"Crazy right." Murray laughed.
"That's where they're based. The Britannicas." Joyce said. "Joan and Brian Britannica."
"You have to be in Alaska. Tomorrow?" I asked.
Joyce nodded and laughed. "I know, I know, it's crazy."
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Fanfiction"I-I think you're pretty." "I think you're pretty too, Y/n." Y/n thought it was just a regular night of p...
