Hope in pain

Epilogue

                           

                           Epilogue
              

               _ Raus Glen Hidalgo_

              
          In the stars by Benson Bonne

The life Im with her in my mind and still there but the person is not here to became it to reality.

I'm here one of my haven place. Kung nasaan siya.

"Hi love..hmm it's been a while and still you are...ikaw parin talaga. Kailan mo ba ako binigyan ng bagay saken at higit sayo hmm?   Ikaw yan eh. May hihigit pa ba sayo?"

Higit hininga akong umupo ng maayos.
Nakaupo ako sa damo sa tabi ng grave ni Arani.

Tiningnan ko ang maaliwalas na lugar na ito.
Tahimik at malinis.

Puro patay nga lang...

But anyway this one of days na tumatakas ako sa totoong mundo at dito ko lang gusto tumambay.

Nandito ang mahal ko dapat nandito rin ako.

Habang nag papatay ng oras ay nag bubunot ako ng damo sa gilid ng lapida ni Arani ng may maalala.

"Uy love meron akong kanta para sayo gusto mo ba marinig! Wag na pala baka bumangon ka d'yan hindi pa naman ako maganda kumanta pero ikaw yan eh. Sege kantahan kita..." Pinagpagan ko ang aking kamay at inaalala ang lyrics.

This for you love, I love you Arani.

"Sunday mornings were your favorite
I used to meet you down on Woods Creek Road...
You did your hair up like you were famous
Even though it's only church where we were goin'" The lyrics is so familiar for me.

Naalala ko pa nun na pag nauto pa kita na sumama saken.
Ang hilig mo kase akong iwasan at tarayan kahit na wala naman akong ginagawang masama sa'yo.

Our first sundate that was most memorable for me.

Yung mga simpleng sulyap ko sayo habang ikaw ay nakikinig sa misa ng pare.

You are so beautiful that time that I can't stop myself looking at you.

Napapangiti pa ako pag naalala ko ang mga  alalang iyon lalo pa na malaman ko ang paborito mong araw.

Araw ng linggo.

"… Now, Sunday mornings, I just sleep in
It's like I buried my faith with you
I'm screamin' at a God, I don't know if I believe in 'Cause I don't know what else I can do"

Ngayon gumigising na lamang ako na literal na wala ka. But I'm still on it now. Wala akong magagawa kung namaalam kana.

"I'm still holdin' on to everything that's dead and gone
I don't wanna say goodbye, 'cause this one means forever
Now you're in the stars and six-feet's never felt so far
Here I am alone between the heavens and the embers
… Oh, it hurts so hard
For a million different reasons
You took the best of my heart
And left the rest in pieces"
Kinanta ko iyon ng buong puso. The lyrics I dedicated it to her. I love her so I just sing it as if she can heard it though I wish she can.

"… Diggin' through your old birthday letters
A crumpled 20 still in the box
I don't think that I could ever find a way to spend it
Even if it's the last 20 that I've got, oh
… I'm still holdin' on to everything that's dead and gone
I don't wanna say goodbye, 'cause this one means forever
Now you're in the stars and six-feet's never felt so far
Here I am alone between the heavens and the embers"