The Winters Shadow

C.24: I'm Not Ready

This chapter isn't going to be very interesting. Just recovering time & lots of lovely moments between you and Buck. :))

Two Days Later...

My mouth is dry. My whole body hurts. What happened? I can't remember. My eyes feel so heavy, and I can't open them. Okay, okay.. Breathe. No need to freak out. I'm sure the team is close by. I hear beeping.. Yes. I'm probably in the hospital bed hooked up to machines and Buck's close by.

"She still isn't awake?" I hear someone ask. I think it's Tony. I am awake. "No.. nothing." Buck says. I knew he wouldn't be far. Why can't I talk? What's going on? "It should be soon." Tony says. "Yeah, I hope so." "I'm... a-awake" I croak out. Damn what, is that really my voice? "Ew"

"Hey, doll. You okay?" Buck says, as Tony says "Open your eyes". "It hurts" I whisper. I slowly bring my eyes open, peaking around. "It's bright" I say. Tony turns the lights down. "How you feeling?" Tony asks. "Not too good. Honestly just tired and sore. How long was I out?" "Two days" Buck sighs. "What? Wait, what happened?" "Everyone's okay. We won. We got it covered."

Bruce walks in, looking a little surprised that I'm awake. What's that about? I'll have to ask him about it later. "Bedrest for at least a few more days. You're almost healed, but you still need to take it easy. You were hit hard. Like, really hard. So if I catch you out of bed you're in trouble." "Copy that. I understand. I do want to go get in my own bed though." "Let me get all your medicine together and you're good to go."

"I missed you" Buck whispers once we're alone. "I missed you too" I softly smile. He sighs, something is bothering him. "What's wrong, baby?" "It's nothing, doll. Let me get your stuff and I'll take you to bed. My bed though" he smiles and leaves. I watch as he closes the door. Where is everyone else?

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"Your bed is a lot more comfortable than mine" I groan. Why does he get a better bed? He laughs, handing me the remote. "Well I'm sorry" he smiles. I yawn, tired as hell although I slept for two days. "Get some sleep doll. I'll be here." "I love you, so much." "I love you more." He whispers as he pulls me into him.

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5AM. That's when I woke up in cold sweats. I saw it again. That weird vision dream thing. Everyone laying around dead, and that damn voice. "You will be mine". I visibly shake as I recall it. It's just a nightmare, my inner demons. It's not real.

I lay back in the bed, already angry at the fact I can't move or get up, on my own at least. "What are you doing?" He whispers in the dark. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you" I whisper back. "It's okay, sweetheart." He pulls me to him and kisses the top of my head. "Can't sleep anymore?" He asks. "No, I don't think so." I sigh. He moves, and reaches over to the bedside table and grabs the remote to the TV. He turns it on then hands it to me. "I didn't want to bother you baby" I tell him as I scroll through the channels, grateful because I really didn't want to just lay in the dark anymore. "It's okay doll, I like the background noise anyway." He kisses my forehead and rolls over, so his back is facing me.

He would never admit it, but he likes being held. I quickly turn on my favorite Netflix show (whatever you want) and slide my arms around him.

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Three hours and so many shows later, everyone is up. Buck left me to go work out, saying he'd bring me up some breakfast when he was done. It's been 30 minutes and I'M STARVING. I'm fucking angry. I can't just lay here.

I slowly swing my legs over the bed, touching the soft carpet. I sigh, and slowly but surely stand up. I just want to wash. I should be able to handle that, right? Yes. Yes I can. I'm a bad bitch who doesn't need any help. Okay? Okay. Here we go.

I push up, slowly. So far so good. After a second of aches and pains I'm finally standing up. I take one step at a time, almost losing my balance. I make it to the bathroom, taking a moment to lean on the counter. I take a few deep breaths. My body is so sore from just laying. This is why I need to fucking move, dude. I get the shower water ready, I need it hot.

I get undressed, almost falling once again. I step in and groan. It feels so good. I needed this. I slowly wash my hair, letting the water flow down my body and rinse my hair. I try to wash my body well, not really being able to bend. I stand there for a good few minutes just enjoying the steam and water massaging my tight limbs.

I should definitely get out, my hands are starting to get pruny. I turn the water off and slowly step out. I didn't think this all the way through, I can't bend to dry my legs and feet. Great.. Whatever. I don't care. I make my way back to the bed with the towel still wrapped around me. I lay down and put my head sideways against the bed.

Back in bed, of course. I sigh, rolling my eyes. I slowly get up and sit down at the edge of my bed. What can I do? Nothing. Absolutely nothing without hearing everyone fuss at me.

I know I should I tell someone about these nightmares.. I just don't want to burden anyone. We have gone through so much lately. We just need a break.

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It's cold. Freezing, actually. I open my eyes, thinking I'll still be in my bed. Boy was I wrong... It's dark, cloudy, it even smells cloudy. I stand up looking around. "There you are my child" chills run up my spine as my breath hitches. "You can't keep locking me out. This was always meant to happen"

I sit straight up to Bucky shaking me. "Hey, I've been trying to wake you. You were mumbling.. you okay? And did you take a shower?" he asks. I take a minute to gather myself. "It was just a dream.. and no.. no I didn't" I say, completely forgetting the fact I fell asleep still in the towel. He rolls his eyes. "Then explain the towel, doll" he shakes his head, but laughs. "Fine, I did. And it was perfect, I feel better already." "Yeah I bet you do. Want to order pizza?" "Yes please" he kisses my forehead before grabbing his phone.

I turn the tv on, scrolling through. "It'll be here soon" he says as he starts getting clothes ready to shower. "Hey.. I need a favor." "What's that doll?" He asks. "Can you.. help me get dressed?" He smirks, "of course." He grabs me one of his TShirts and a pair panties, and makes his way over to me.

WARNING:: Mild sexual content, you are hurt afterall. :)))

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He helps me stand up, sliding the towel off of me, letting his hands slide too. He gets closer as he does. "Buck" I whisper, practically dripping and he hasn't even done anything. "What is it, doll?" He whispers in my ear. "Please do something" I whisper, closing my eyes. He massages my boob as his other hand grips my chin making me look at him. "You do not move. Do you understand? If you do, I'll stop." "Yes"

He pushes me gently on the bed, before grabbing one leg and kissing upwards. He gets to my core, leaving a soft kiss that almost made me cum right then. Almost. All of a sudden he starts licking up and down, with one arm over my lower stomach to make sure I don't try to move. I groan out as he gently bites me, just enough for it to be painful pleasure. I go to arch and he puts me back down, grunting as he does so much turns me on even more. He takes two fingers and lets them enter as he licks everywhere he should. It's amazing, but I want more. "More" I moan out, he growls and crawls up, kissing me hard.

I feel his cock hitting my entrance and he slowly pushes in, I try to move so he'll speed up but he grips my neck and holds me down. "Do. Not. Move." He commands as he thrusts in and out, my eyes rolling back. He bites my nipple, kissing it afterwards as he pinches the other. I feel my release building and I still need more. "More" I groan, and he grunts as he turns me over, pushing my left leg up and lifting my ass somewhat in the air. He grips my hair and holds my thigh as he pounds into me. "Don't complain when you're even more sore" I hear him say but I'm to caught up in pure bliss to respond. My legs start shaking and I get chills just as my release washes over me, making me moan out. A few more thrusts and he's right behind me.

He leans down and kisses the back of my shoulder. "Pizza's here" he smirks before smaking my ass. I roll my eyes. He then helps clean me up and gets me dressed before going to grab the pizza. I turn a movie on just as he gets back. "Lets go on a vacation" he says out of nowhere. "What?" "Lets go somewhere. Just me and you." I smile, that would be nice. "Fine. Lets go."