The Winters Shadow

C.31: This Is Me

First, I'm sorry for the late update. My health hasn't been the best, and since I lost all the chapters when I had to get a new computer I'm having to rewrite everything. I didn't feel as though I could give it 100%. I'm feeling better now, and I'm going to work extra hard this weekend to get a few chapters out. Thank you. XoXo.

I'm not human.

I'm not like Loki.

I'm not like Thor.

Who am I? What am I? "You've read it?" I asked. "Yeah, it showed on the screen before printing out." Tony answers. "What do I do now?" I whisper, tears falling down my face. Everything was a lie. What if Buck won't love me anymore? What if he hates me? "Hey, it's going to be okay. You hear me? It doesn't matter what you are. We know who you are. You're an amazing woman. You will be okay and we will figure this out. Okay?" Yeah, maybe he's right. I'm still me.. right? "Yeah. It's okay." I smile, atleast I think I do.

After getting myself together, Tony agreed to give me an hour to myself before calling a meeting to talk about everything. I'm working on not keeping things to myself. Although if Tony hadn't already seen the results, I'm not so sure I would've said anything.. yet. I'm walking around outside taking in the fresh air. "Are you alright?" I hear Loki ask. "Yeah. I'm fine." "You're lying." "What do you care?" I retort. He smiles. He actually smiles.. which makes me want to vomit. "Stop it. You don't smile." "Yes I do. I'm capable of smiling." I laugh. "Really, I'm fine. I guess." "You're not human?" He figures. I take a breath. I don't want to talk about this. "I came outside away from everyone to NOT talk about this. Okay? Fine. I'm not human. I'm not you, I'm not Thor. I don't know what I am." I'm crying again. Loki looks down right uncomfortable. Good. This is his fault. He should be.

"I'm not very good at this. What do I do? Because if I'm suppose to hug you.." "Absolutely not." I laugh, wiping my eyes. "It's time to go spill the beans." I sigh, heading towards the compound. Loki walks alongside me as we make our way towards the meeting room. Bucky's outside the door talking to Steve, he stops when he notices us. He sends us a smile, probably just me but he's trying with Loki. We all sit down, nobody wanting to say anything. Tony looks to me and I nod my head. Let's get this over with.

Bucky's POV:

She's nervous, probably even scared. I know this is about the results. She must not be human. If she was, we wouldn't be here and she wouldn't be fidgeting with her fingers. It's a habit I've caught onto. Along with her playing with the ends of her hair when she's sad. The slight twich of her nose when she's mad. I love everything about her, and nothing will change that. It doesn't matter if she's not human, she's still her. "So, we tested Y/N's blood with all that we have. Human, Loki's, Thor's.. none matched." Tony finishes. Y/N is looking down, not wanting to face anyone. I grab her hand, giving her a reassuring squeeze. She knows this is fine, right? "That's fine. I mean, we can figure it out. It doesn't really matter to me." Nat says. I hear Y/N let a breath out, relieved. "How are we suppose to figure that out?" Y/N asks. "You let me worry about that, okay? We can figure this out later. But right now we need to figure out these guys who are after you." "I told you to just let me speak with him." She says, rolling her eyes. There's my girl.

"That's not happening. Not until we know exactly what's going on." Steve tells her, giving no room for argument. I don't want her to go either, but I also know once she's put her mind to something there's no changing it. I can only hope she hasn't fully set her mind to it. "Okay. We've had a long few days. We need some time to regroup. The next two days, take time for yourselves. Let's hope the world agrees with this break. You two," Tony points to us, "start planning that wedding." He finishes with a smile.

We all leave the room, going our separate ways. Y/N walks beside me, and I wrap my arm around her pulling her close. "What do you want to do, doll?" "You still love me?" she whispers. I stop, pulling her to face me. "Of course I do, baby. Nothing will ever change that." I smile, giving her a small kiss. "Do I need to prove it to you?" I ask with a smirk.

YOUR POV:
TW:: Praise kink, pain kink, mild fear kink. (Nothing too serious) and "losing control" (winter soldier peaking) (he does not hurt you in any way that you don't ask for)

Winter soldier "peaking" and not "hurting" you will be talked about in the coming chapter.
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"Do I need to prove it to you?" he asks with a smirk. I think he does. "I think you might need to, baby." I smile, biting my lip. He grabs me quickly, throwing me over his shoudler. I laugh as he smacks my ass. He's carrying me straight to the bedroom. I'm already wet just thinking about it. "Hurry" I whisper shout. "You're so impatient, baby. I'm going to teach you a lesson." Holy shit. He closes the door and locks it before walking me towards the bed. He sits me down before walking towards the bedside table. Fear washes over me, soaking my panties even more. I'm anticipating his next move. He grabs the blind fold and rope. I lick my lips as he turns around and stalks towards me. I slowly b-ack myself up more onto the bed, he reaches out grabbing my ankles and pulling me towards him. His eyes darken as he looks at my still clothed body. He takes the blindfold and wraps it around my eyes, moving my arms up so he can tie them to the head board. My breathing quickens as his hands rake down my body, him tearing my clothes off.

He lifts one leg and plants soft kisses up towards my core. I don't want soft, though. I need more. "More" I whisper, and he seems to get the hint as he bites into my thigh just enough for it to be painful pleasure. I groan works it's way out, making me shiver under his touch. He spreads my thighs and I feel his tip slide through my folds, all of a suden he pushes in with a hard thrust, taking my breath away. He pulls back out to the tip before thrusting all the way to the hilt, making me moan. He holds me down as I squirm, wanting more. Needing more. He wraps his hand around my throat, "You are mine, Y/N. Say it" he demands. I refuse, knowing what I'm getting myself into. He rips the blind fold off, pulling out, and flipping me onto my stomach. He grips my hips as he lifts my ass into the air. "You need more, hmm baby?" he asks in a dark tone. I know that tone.. "Please" I beg. I hear the flick of his knife as he pushes back into me. I feel the pain as he easily slides it across my asscheck. I shiver, pushing back to meet his thrusts. "You are so beautiful when you're demanding more" he says. Grabbing a fist full of hair, he pulls me up to him. He presses the knife to my throat as he spreads my legs even more. "You're doing so good, baby. You feel so good around me." he groans out, pushing the knife closer to me. I moan out as he bites my shoulder. "Cum for me, baby." He whispers, pinching my nipple, taking me over the edge. I spasm around him and he groans, ripping the rope off and flipping us so I'm staddling him. He lifts me up by the hips and slams me back down. "One more, baby. I know you can do it." He groans as I ride him out, he takes my hair and pulls as he thrusts in and out at a rough pace. Eyes rolling back, I come undone all over again. He grips my throat pulling me to him, "Look at me while you lose yourself" and that's all it takes. I moan out his name, leaving scratches all down his chest as I fight to breathe.

____OVER_____

I lay beside him as we calm our hearts down. "Are you okay?" "Of course" I smile. "Are you?" I ask. "I'm fine, baby." He gets up and goes to the bathroom. I hear the shower turn on, and he comes back. Picking me up, he carries us both to the shower. After putting me down he grabs my hands. inspecting my wrists. He smirks as his eyes darken again, kissing my wrists where the rope burned them. "I love you so much, doll." "I love you baby." I stand on my tippy toes as I lean up to kiss him. It's a slow, loving kiss. No rushing, no heat. Just lovely. I need more sometimes, but the other times? I just need this.

After our shower, we lay in bed. "So.. our wedding." I say.. "When do you want to do it, doll?" He asks. Honestly.. now. So much danger is looming. What if we never get the chance? I don't say that though. Instead, "I don't know."

"How about now?" He suggests.

"Now?"