Crown of a Prince (Finn Shelby)

118

I feel like I start every chapter with an apology for being late / irregular! But I am sorry this took so long - my laptop crashed and I lost so much of the story and I just wasn't in the headspace to try remember all of what I had written. But we're getting very near the end now and this is probably the saddest I've had to write <3

Tommy Shelby wanted quiet. He wanted to be left alone and to be left with his thoughts. And although he hadn't spoken since he left Diana Mitford and he had stormed through his front door so he could shut the door of his office and be in silence, it was not to be.

He slammed the door shut behind him, resting both his palms against the door above his head and breathing in deep through his nose several times trying to get the smell of her perfume out of his system but she clung to him. He would have to shower before he saw Lizzie, he would have to wash his clothes and scrub his skin until she was gone from his body.

Grabbing the lapels of his coat he ripped it from his body and threw it to the floor away from him. He grabbed at the collar of his shirt, trying to give him more freedom to breathe but it wasn't the clothes making his chest tight and making his head feel like it was bursting.

He felt like tearing his skin from his bones when he thought about it. Her lips, her tongue, her skin, her laugh. All of it. It made him sick and he hated himself more than he thought possible. He felt his stomach roll and his body was quite certain to be sick all over the carpet until he heard the sounds of another person in the room, coming closer to him.

He spun, throwing his hands out in defense while one of his hands reached for a gun that he longer carried.

"Tom" Ailbhe gasped, putting her hands up and showing him she wasn't approaching him anymore.

She stayed back, more than ten feet from him and watched him calm down. But his eyes were still frantic, his breathing erratic and his face ghostly pale.

She saw how quickly he shielded himself, how fast his guards went up and his eyes lost all panic. Not just panic, they lost all emotion until he wasn't even recognisable anymore just like he had been since they had lost Ruby.

Not her brother, not Tommy. A shell.

This man with no limitations.

"What is it, Ailbhe?" Tommy asked, rubbing his hand across his face and stepping quickly around her so that he could be behind the safety of his desk.

Ailbhe saw how tightly he gripped it, how he leaned on it for support until he was sat but she didn't comment.

"You called for me, Tom... remember?"

Cara had woken her with a cup of tea and a message from Tommy to come to his house that day as soon as she was able. Finn had groaned and protested at the light from the windows, turning onto his stomach and letting her slide out from his grip. Messages for Finn arrived with their breakfast and Finn had to go urgently, only kissing Ailbhe's cheek swiftly as Cara braided back her hair.

Ailbhe had come as soon as she could. And now she wished she had come sooner since Tommy seemed to be unravelling day by day.

She moved towards the chair opposite him and sat never taking her eyes off him. He stared back at her with those blue eyes that had gotten him out of trouble time and time again when they were younger.

"Yes." He nodded, grabbing his glasses, and pushing them on "Of course."

He pushed letters around the desk for a moment and Ailbhe saw the subtle shake in his hands. Like when they first got back from France.

And she wanted to do anything she could to help. It was all she had ever wanted to do.

"The doctor from the sanitorium... they sent more correspondence for you but they must have sent it to the wrong address."