Crown of a Prince (Finn Shelby)

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You're shocked. I know - I'm actually being regular! Honestly, this shit is hard. I'm writing a happier and less angsty fic next time this shit is stressful! Really hope you guys are getting it and liking it. Let me know what you're thinking!! Love, M xx

Ailbhe wanted a drink. So badly. More than she ever had before.

And she couldn't bring herself to do it. She wouldn't. Not because every time she thought about whiskey, she gagged at the thought of the smell and the burn in her throat. But because Lizzie and Ada had told her when they were pregnant that whiskey and gin hurt the baby. And although that had always seemed to be something she never had to worry about, now she did. Now, she had a baby. And whiskey was out of the picture because of it. Even though that was precisely why she needed a drink in the first place.

The Shelby Kennedy offices were empty. The old Kennedy house on Watery Lane lay silent. The Garrison wasn't even open and she hadn't brought her keys. It seemed like Small Heath had gone quiet and was more of a ghost town than anything else now.

If she couldn't indulge herself, maybe she could find solace in being somewhere familiar and hopefully find some of her family.

The Council meeting she had attended finished early, cut short by the bad weather as people needed to get back to London. Small Heath was the only place she wanted to be and all she wanted was Aunt Pol.

She had hoped it would make her feel better. That if she could sit by the fireplace in their old house and drink black tea with sugar like Polly used to make for them when the rations of milk had run out, that she would feel better.

But the house sat empty, the hearth was cold and hadn't been warm for months. Mice had eaten whatever was left in the cupboards and the gas in the stove had long since run out. Finn's bedroom was cold and didn't even look like his anymore. The bedpost that she used to hang her ribbons on was old and rusted. The little table that he used to leave his hat on while they slept was gone and it smelled like mould and damp. 

Nobody in Small Heath would dare to go near the old Shelby house nor the Kennedy house but it still felt as though somebody had ruined it. Ailbhe felt violated and wronged when she saw the dirty windows and floors that were covered in mouse droppings and dust. But it was nobody's fault. Which was perhaps the most infuriating part of it all.

It was time's fault.

Time had ruined all of it. Changed everything. Tainted everything.

And for all the power that they had, all the money and all the influence they couldn't do anything to stop it. If Ailbhe had a choice she would reverse it, go back in time and do better.

She would do better in protecting her mother. Would keep a better eye on Arthur and make sure he never got mixed up in anything stronger than whiskey. Would never take Finn for granted nor how lucky she was to have married him.

And although the hormones had made Ailbhe especially teary, she knew that the tears that sprang to her eyes were all her own. The house didn't feel like home anymore and neither did Clover House with Finn. Not when he wasn't there anymore.

The only place that had felt like home in recent weeks was when it didn't feel different between her and Finn. When he would reach for her in his sleep or when they would forget about everything else and she would sit on his lap and he would nuzzle into her neck. But the moment always came where he had to pull away or she would go cold and unsure in his arms.

And although she was grateful for him, knew that she had more than she had ever deserved in him, she grieved for everything she had lost.

A home. A family. Aunt Pol. Ruby. Lizzie. Ada living next door. Liam and Niall's overprotectiveness and constant warnings that she had to be home by midnight. Tommy's gentle guiding hand, pulling her up when she fell and helping her along their path to being bigger and better.