Sincerely, Yours

10. Its too late for me

"I like him. Do I like him? He's a guy. No, he's just a kid. He's a kid guy. Wait how old was he even? Did it matter? He was a guy. I don't like him, I don't like him."

".... Mr. Wilder!" Thoma's coworker shouts at him and he jumps. He hadn't realized he was being called.

"Yes, I'm sorry. How can I help you?" Thoma asked and his coworker crossed her arms.

"It wasn't important, just telling you good morning. But you've been spaced out this whole week. Are you okay?" She asked and Thoma nodded.

"There's a meeting in the conference room at 10:30. I'll remind you again at 10:15," she said with a sigh and walked away.

Thoma sighed and put his head down on his desk.

"This kid is doing a number on me," Thoma grumbled.

The meeting came and went as did the rest of the day. But there wasn't one minute in that day that Thoma didn't think about Luan.

His drive home was spent listening to music Luan suggested for him. Even the dinner he ordered was similar to what Luan had eaten for breakfast when they went together.

He couldn't get him out of his head. His voice, the clothes he wore, his smell, his laugh. Thoma began to see them all individually and marvel at them all.

"Wait a minute. Is Luan even into guys?"

Thoma had never even considered it. Not that the answer to that question would change anything, of course. Thoma had never thought he'd be so interested in a guy. But maybe interest is as far as it should go. He could never tell anyone how he felt and it would fade away as all his other "interests" had.

Thoma decided to simply let this feelings stay as they were until the end of the play. He wasn't going to see Luan after it and therefore his emotions would go back to normal.

——————-

The next day was another play practice. It had already been three months from the start of their practice till now and everyone was getting better with each day. Today however they had all taken a break from running through their lines and scenes. Everyone had come together to help create the props for the stage.

A few of the cast members had commented about how it was hard to get into character when they had neither costumes or anything visual to show them how to feel. It was a valid argument and Charlie had asked for volunteers to create the set. Every single hand had gone up and the next couple weeks were set aside to begin putting the props together.

Today they were working on painting all the separate pieces and assembling the incomplete ones. Fans were blowing all throughout the theater to alleviate some of the paint smell. Charlie had tried to open the doors to let some fresh air in but it had started to get too cold outside and everyone begged him to close them.

Luans hair which had started to get longer was blowing in his face. He'd tried putting it behind his ears but the fans kept putting it right back in his eyes.

"Luan!" A classmate of his had run up to him. "I can see your hairs starting to bother you. Would you like a hairband to hold it back?" She asked and he nodded but looked down to his hands which were now covered in fresh paint.

"Here, let me help you," she said and began pulling his hair back. "Wow your hair is so soft Luan." She said and began running her hands through his hair.

The action involuntarily cause Luans eyes to close. He loved his hair being played with.

"Hannah, get back to your team," Luan heard a familiar voice near him. He opened his eyes to see Thoma looking at him. Though his words to Hannah had been harsh, his eyes seemed so warm when they met Luans.

"Oh sorry director. I was just helping Luan put his hair away from his eyes," she said quickly putting Luans hair into a bun. She retreated back to her group and Thoma walked away.

"What was that about?" Luan heard Hailey, a girl in his group comment.

"I know, did you see the way the Director looked at her?" Another girl named Julie replied.

"I'd be scared if I were Hannah too," Hailey said with a laugh.

"What even is the director doing here today? It's not like we're running lines. He should take these next few days off since we're just making the sets," Hailey continued and Julie nodded.

They continued to gossip and though Luan tried to ignore them, their continued abuse towards Thoma really started to bother him.

"Guys enough!" He finally said and they both looked at him, appalled. "Thom... The Director can be wherever he wants to be. He has creative input in this project and so I'm sure he just wants to make sure everything turns out okay."

"Geez Lu we're sorry. We didn't realize you had a thing for yet another instructor," they said and Luans body froze.

"There's no way they knew about what happened. Why Luan had to drop drama and why he had to change majors."

"What're you even..?" He said but Charlie came up to their group and Luan quickly turned his head away from them and back to his project.

"Hailey, Julie and Janine. The Director wants you to switch groups with Brandon, Kyle and Julian." Charlie said and they scoffed but obeyed and went to another group.

The three boys came to Luans group and things continued undramatically. Luan dared to steal a glance at Thoma who was helping another group paint their props. His sleeves were rolled up and there was paint on his hands and forearms.

He was smiling ever so slightly and talking with his group. He'd seemed to have gotten kinder and more understanding since he'd opened up about his problems.

There was an odd sense of pride that rose in Luan when he realized that Thoma had trusted him with something so personal. But then Luans thoughts drifted back to what Bailey said.

"I don't have a thing for Thoma," Luan was convinced. "I used to a while back but I don't now. Why would they think that?"

Thoma must've sensed Luans eyes on him because he turned his head and smiled before turning his head back to his project.

Luan turned away and focused back on his prop. His cheeks felt a little hot.

"Baseless assumptions. I don't like him, I don't."