My Pace

Chapter 40

                             Anabelle's POV
"Baby tell me."

I shook my head.

"Ani...what happened? Why do you just want to go home? What did he do? Did he say something?"

"I can't..I can't tell you."

He cupped my face.

"I swear, I will not get mad."

"I just wanted to talk to him. I-I was trying to make him like me. H-he said, I'm still younger. H-he was saying...I shouldn't be around. I-I'm....he...I-I don't wanna tell you."

"Why?"

"Cause you're just gonna get mad and start a fight. It's Christmas. Nobody should fight."

"I won't start a fight."

"He buried me in the snow. It was difficult trying to dig. I-I started freezing right away. I just got up when, you started looking for me. I-I like being cold but...this is too much."

He clenched his jaw.

Please don't do anything.

He stood up.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm getting our daughter. I'm not gonna do anything."

He walked away and came back with Ariella. She ran up to me.

"Mommy? Are you okay?"

"Kinda."

Holt still took us to see the lights. The car helped warm me up more.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. I'm good. Thank you."

After we got home, Ariella opened her presents. After that, I went to take a hot bath. I normally take showers but, I just wanted to be to different. I closed my eyes and started to relax.

"Careful. You might fall asleep if, you keep your eyes closed."

I opened my eyes and saw Holt standing next to the bathtub.

"I'm fine. I'm just relaxing."

"You've been in here for like almost 2 hours."

"Oh. I have? Whoops. I'll get out now."

He bent down and started kissing me. He pressed our foreheads together.

"Hold on. Hold on. The water hasn't drained yet."

He started draining the water.

"There. It's draining."

He went back to kissing me.

"I love you."

"I love you too. I'm sorry about today."

"Thank you for not causing a fight."

"That was hard. Are you gonna get out or do I have to pick you up?"

"Ha ha. Very funny Curran."

"No, I'm serious."

"What's the reason?"

"Oh come on. Don't...don't do that."

"What's your reason for this?"

"I want another baby."

"I do too but...I'm scared to get pregnant again."

"Why?"

"I've had what? 3? 4 miscarriages at this point? I don't want to have anymore."

"I'm sorry. I didn't think about that."

I got out of the tub and started getting dressed.

"Ani, I-I'm sorry."

"It's fine. I'm not mad."

I grabbed my hairbrush and started brushing my hair. Holt kissed the back of my head.

"How long have you felt like this?"

"Few weeks now."

"When's the last time, you had one?"

"Sometime last year."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

I shrugged.

"I thought...It'd upset you."

"I'm more upset due to the fact, you kept this from me for a year. You tell me everything."

I looked down.

"I know, I do. I just...I don't know."

"You're worried about disappointing me, aren't you?"

I nodded.

"I'm not expecting another baby right away. It's not like, we'll have luck the first time."