My Pace

Chapter 41

Holt's POV
"I'm not gonna be disappointed. We're gonna have issues. Everyone does. My parents had a hard time getting me."

"Th-they did? You're a rainbow baby?"

I nodded.

"I'm uh...gonna go to sleep now."

Anabelle went to walk away. I grabbed her hand.

"You're not gonna sleep. I know you. You're gonna pretend to sleep and when you see I'm sleeping, you're gonna cry all night."

"I'm not. I'm fine."

"You're a horrible lair."

She yanked her hand away from me.

"I am fine Curran."

She walked over to our bed and laid down. She pulled the blanket up to her chin.

She's not fine.

Instead of sleeping, I stayed up. I watched her sleep.

My baby isn't okay.

I see through her lies.

I see through that mask, she's wearing.

I always do.

Why'd she hide it?

I moved hair out of her face. I started caressing her check.

There's gotta be something else.

"Holty?"

She opened her eyes.

"You're right. I'm not okay. I-I'm sorry."

"Talk to me. What's going on?"

"I didn't tell you because, I didn't want you to yell at me."

"Yell at you? Why would I yell at you?"

"I-I don't know. I'm scared, the smallest thing'll, cause a fight."

"Woah, woah, woah. Babe you think, I'll yell at you for something that's outta your control?"

She nodded.

"Why? Did I do something, I don't know about?"

"I overheard you on the phone last year...I was about to tell you but...you were on the phone yelling."

"Yelling about what?"

"Yelling about me."

My eyes widened.

"What?! Huh?!"

"You were pissed about the miscarriages."

"Woah! No! I wasn't!"

"Then why were you, yelling about me?"

I cupped her face.

"That wasn't about you! That was about my brother!"

"Huh?"

"My brother was dating someone, she purposely caused a miscarriage. I-I was pissed about that!"

FUCK MY LIFE!

"No. It was about me. It's okay. You don't have to lie."

My heart started cracking. I jumped up.

"I'm not lying! I'm serious! Y-you can talk to Eric!
I-I'm not mad at you!"

She got up.

"I'll be in the guest room."

I grabbed her arm.

"Ana I'm serious!"

"You're yelling."

I got up. I ran up to her.

"I'm sorry for whatever you heard. I-I swear to god, I wasn't talking about you. Eric was dating this girl, Scarla. He called me one day in tears. He was having a full on mental breakdown. H-he said she, threw herself down a flight of stairs on purpose. I-I was talking about being pissed at her. Ani please. I-I'm telling you the truth. I-I'd never lie to you. Especially about that. I wish, you told me sooner."

She pushed me away.

"I want to be alone."

"Wh-what does that mean?!"

My heart started racing.

"Go away please."

"Baby I swear, it wasn't about you. What do I have to do to, make you believe me?!"

She ran away. I ran after her. She ran into the guest bedroom and locked the door. I started trying to open the door.

"Ana come on! Please!"

"Daddy? What's going on? Why are you yelling?"

"Mommy's upset. She misheard something."

She opened the door.

"I'm going to my mom's. I need to think."

"What?! What does that mean?!"

She quickly packed a bag. She ran out of the house.