Kabanata 36.
I am a person who is very insensitive to physical pain. Internally and externally. I've never been sick before. I don't remember being sick or having a fever like a normal child.
That's why I know from the very beginning that I'm different from the rest. Even if I cut myself to death, my wound would heal on its own.
The first pain I experienced was when I saved the dying crow. The feeling I felt back then was so foreign that I did not know how to name it. I just could not help but to winced.
Then I realized later on that the foreign feeling I felt was pain. It was the physical pain I lack.
As expected, it was nothing special. It's just another feeling of being hurt.
I've been hurt emotionally since I was a kid. I guess it's my luck for being born without worrying about being hurt physically.
I told myself that I would never used my ability again. I don't deserve being hurt for the sake of someone.
The only person who moved me was my husband. I have no choice back then. He asked me to treat the children from Amaris Orphanage.
I suffered a lot of pain that time. Luckily, I can heal myself.
I thought physical pain are just nothing. It's easy to endure. Pagpapawisan lang ako ng saglit dahil sa sakit pero wala na. Iyon lang 'yon.
I never expected that I would feel something so painful that I thought I was going to die. It's so extremely painful that I don't want to experience it again.
I felt like a thousand knives were cutting all my flesh and veins inside my body. It hurts so much that I even lost control of my ability.
I black out for real. This is the very first time I lost consciousness because of physical pain.
Nang magising ako ay ang magandang mata ni Ezekon ang unang bumungad sa akin.
"What happened to you?" Tanong nito agad sa akin.
"Why do you look so dangerous early in the morning?" Balik kong tanong sa kaniya.
Malambing ko siyang nginitan.
"It's already night. You are unconscious for whole day and a half."
"Oh..."
Bumangon ako sa pagkakahiga. Naupo ako sa kama bago ko muling tiningnan si Ezekon.
Hindi ako nagsalita. Ngayon ko lang narealize na hindi niya alam kung ano talaga ang ability ko.
Alam lang niya na kaya kong pagalingin ang sarili ko. Alam din niya na hindi ako nakakaramdam ng physical pain. Akala siguro niya ay iyon lang iyon.
Siguro ay akala niya din na isa talaga akong healer. Nakakapagheal ako pero hindi niya alam kung paano.
Hindi nagtatanong sa akin si Ezekon. Siguro dahil hindi rin ako nagtatanong tungkol sa kaniya.
"I'm hungry," pahayag ko kay Ezekon.
My husband looks so dangerous right now. He's furious. I can feel it.
He's so pleasing in the eyes.
Mariin akong tinitigan ni Ezekon bago siya tumayo. Naglakad si Ezekon palabas ng kwarto, siguro ay tatawagin niya si Erida o kung sino man.
Nang makalabas sa pinto si Ezekon ay agad akong napahawak sa aking dibdib. Hindi pa rin nawawala ang sakit na nadama ko kay Lerino.
Huminga ako ng malalim bago ko kinalma ang aking sarili. Siguro dahil nahimatay ako kaya hindi nawala ang sakit sa loob ng katawan ko.
