metanoia , daryl dixon (rewriting)

twenty-three.

silas nervously stood at the bottom of the ladder, waiting for the group to meet him there. he anxiously scratched at his skin, worried that he had messed everything up for them. he wasn't even sure what possessed him to shoot the guy, he just hated seeing how scared glenn looked up there. silas could bet his whole life that glenn had never been in that type of position before, being kidnapped and unaware of what would happen to him. the korean was obviously terrified and silas wanted to help, but he sure as hell had no idea how to help him.

he didn't notice when he started pacing but he slowed down at the sound of approaching footsteps, the first face he focused on being rick's, who was slightly red in anger. "hey, what the hell was that?" rick asked, standing right in front of slias, who tried to back up only to be met by the wall behind him. "you're kidding, right?" he asked, trying to not show his nerves as he looked to the other two behind rick, the kid being held in a tight grip by daryl. "they fucking kidnapped glenn and you wanna talk about this?" silas asked, head tilted to the side as he scoffed in disbelief.

"that wasn't part of the plan" rick said, frustratedly running a hand down his face as silas shook his head, side stepping rick, "fuck the plan" he muttered, beginning to walk away from rick. walking away from the frustration in the man's eyes, the disappointment. the same look of disappointment that john winchester would look at him with.

silas hated to think about it, but the way rick looked at him reminded him of when he was younger, only a kid, and john had agreed to take him on a hunt. it was supposed to be easy, a small coven of vampires that had been kidnapping girls from a nearby college. they had all of the information they needed and gone in ready to kill them all, and they did, for the exception of one. silas had been too distracted by the young and terriffied blonde girl that sat tied to a post, tears streaming down her dirt caked face as she witnessed everything.

"you'll be okay" silas had muttered, ignoring the fact that there was still one vampire left, and all because he wanted to make the girls fear go away. he had barely managed to untie her when a sudden force hit his body, sending him to the floor harshly. the vampire had taken the sobbing and begging girl into his arms, a crazed smile on his face as he stared down at silas' young form, "this one's mine" the vampire had said, and before silas could speak the girl's begging was cut short as the vampire bit into her neck harshly.

silas had stared in shock as the vampire quickly killed her, not draining her completely before he tossed her now dead body aside. before he could even fully process what had happened, the vampire's head was chopped off, and john stood behind him, staring down at the girls dead body with a clenched jaw.

"what the hell did i tell you?" john had seethed, stomping up to silas and harshly tugging him up by his jacket. "t-that i had to kill them all first" the boy muttered, voice shaking as he stared down at his feet. "exactly, and you didn't listen. you got an innocent person killed." john spat out, harshly grabbing silas' chin and forcing his face so he stared down at the girl, "you did this" he whispered, not letting silas' chin go.

"i didn't mean to!" silas cried out, tears beginning to fill his eyes as his lip quivered slightly, something that always happened before he began crying. "hey! you don't get to cry!" john screamed out, getting his face closer to silas', "you've disappointed me today" he added, his voice softer, and his eyes wild, the disappointment clear in them. "now man up, and help get rid of this mess" he added, standing straighter and letting go of silas' face, where the skin now pulsed harshly where he had been held. "yes sir" the boy muttered, putting his machete aside and beginning to help, guilt heavy on his shoulders.

words; 721

authors note;
angst?! i love ittt loll, anyways, i wanted to add this because i will forever hate john and i wanna include more stories from when silas was younger to really give him more character yk? idk all i know is im craving a bacon cheeseburger