My little Judith

Eleven

Alec POV

"Are you sure you'll be okay? I can stay here." Harriette said. Her and Damien are going to see Damien's parents for a while. Judith decided she didn't want to go so I'm staying here with her. It's not like I have grandparents who want anything to with me.

"Yeah." I nodded. "We'll be okay. Go and take a breather. I'll make sure she's okay. Well probably go out for dinner as well so don't be alarmed if you come home and we're not here."

"That's fine. Do you want any money for Judith?" She replied. I shook my head and have her a small smile.

"It's okay. I've got it."

"Only if you're sure." Damien said.

"Yeah." I nodded once again.

"Alright. We'll be going now. We'll let you know when we're on our way home." He stated. He and Harriette gave me a quick hug before leaving. Once their car was gone, Judith's soft feet pattered down the stairs.

I gave her a small smile once she entered the living room. Silently she came and sat next to me.

"They hate me, don't they?" Judith muttered. I sighed and shook my head.

"Come here." I whispered pulling her to my side with her legs over mine. "They don't hate you, they never could. Okay. Whatever you do, your mum and dad could never hate you, you're are their pride and joy. However, they're disappointed. Disappointed that you didn't choose a better option, that you didn't walk away to call for help."

"I hate this feeling." She whispered, her voice cracking from crying.

"What feeling?"

"Knowing I let them down. That I didn't do better. That I let strangers get to me when I know they shouldn't of. I hate it." Judith cried.

"It'll be alright. Maybe not now but it will be." I told her and kissed her head that rested on my chest. I'm still glad she seeks my comfort even if she isn't a little girl anymore. She doesn't do the same to her parents anymore, not as much as when she was a child.

"You know, I let people get to me. My parents were disappointed in me for a while." I said. "One time I heard my grandparents talking shit, and I let it get to me. I became closed off, not wanting to spend time with anyone unless I had to, when I really had to. My dads hated that I distanced myself, but they didn't hate me. Just like your mum and dad, they hate that you felt pressured into doing what you did, they hate that you felt like you couldn't call anyone. They don't hate you, I promise you that."

Judith looked up at me. Her big blue eyes looking at me. "What changed? Why do you spend a lot of time with everyone now?" She asked.

I took a deep breath through my nose and released it. Looking into her eyes, all I could feel was the mate pull. All I want to do in this second is kiss her, to make her mine. My hand ran from her knee to her mid thigh, the action pulling me from my thoughts. 

I quickly pulled my hand away and gave her a quick smile. "Go get changed. We're going out for dinner."

"O-okay." Judith nodded and got up. I sighed and leaned forward putting my head in my hands.

No, this is too fast. I'm not prepared for this. Why is it happening now? She's only fourteen. I was sure I wouldn't get any sexual feelings until she was at least sixteen. But fourteen? Not only will she be uncomfortable, but the rest of the family. And me. I am disgusted and hate myself that I even had that thought.

My eyes stung with unshed tears. I know what this means and not only will I hate it, but Judith as well. Ever since I held her for the first time I know she felt the mate bond. I know she still feels it but doesn't know what the feeling is. All she knows is that she seeks the most comfort with me, when she's upset she comes to me. Anything she feels I know I'm her first thought.

After tonight, I don't want that to happen again. I don't want to scare her, or to make her think wrongly of me. I don't care about anyone else, I only care what she thinks of me. And if Judith at any point is uncomfortable or scared of me, I could never forgive myself because I love her so goddamn much. I refuse to let my mate feel anything negative towards me because of my actions.

I'll talk to Damien and Harriette when they get home. Then tomorrow, I'll tell Judith I have to leave for a little while. That I'll call and message her everyday so she knows I still love her and none of this is her fault. It's all mine, it's all my fault. It's my fault for staying in the first place. I knew things would get difficult at some point, I just never realised it would be this early.

This will break her heart, hell it'll break mine too, but I know what has to be done. I know where this will lead if I don't move out of the house, and I can't bare the thought of that, I don't want to do that. I refuse. I know I'll be back, but at the moment not only is it overwhelming for me, but for Judith as well. I know she saw me looking at her lips, she saw the look in my eyes, she felt my hand sliding up her thigh. She got uncomfortable with me, the way she stuttered when she spoke.

I never want Judith to feel like that ever again around me.

"How's the food?" The waiter smiled at us.

"Good. Thank you." I replied. He gave a quick nod before walking away. Judith has been silent, she hasn't so much as muttered a word since we left the house. She barely whispered her order to the waiter. It's a good job he's a wolf otherwise he wouldn't have heard what she said.

I know why she's been silent. And I kills me to know what I know. She's uncompromising, she's scared I'll do what I did again and she doesn't want it to happen. I can feel that she doesn't want to be around me.

It didn't take us long to finish the food and have our table clean.

"Do you want anything for dessert?" I asked. "You don't have to have anything from here, we can go somewhere else."

"I'm okay." Judith muttered. I sighed and nodded while rubbing my face. Once I paid for the meal, we got up and left.

"I'm sorry." I said as soon as we shut the car doors. "I didn't mean to do what I did earlier. I just want you to know what I'm sorry and I hate myself for it. Judith it was never my intention to make you feel uncomfortable or scared of me. It'll never happen again, I promise you that."

Judith didn't say anything. She just sat in the passenger seat with her head down and her fingers locking together. Her heartbeat speeding up letting me know she was nervous.

There's no going back now. I'll be leaving tomorrow, I'll say goodbye to Harriette, Damien and Judith. Then I'll say goodbye to my parents and Lola. They don't need to know why I'm leaving, they just need to know that I am leaving. I'll come back to visit, but I'll keep my distance. I know some people that will let me stay with them until I find my own house or something temporary to live in while I wait until Judith's eighteenth birthday.

She's almost fifteen so it's only three years and a bit, I can wait it out and it'll be okay. Then she'll decide, it will all be on her account as to what happens. Whether I stay again, or I leave for good. Because it hurts knowing what it's like for her to be nervous and uncomfortable around me. It'll kill me if she rejects me and I don't want to sit around to see her be happy with someone else.

A/N: Hope you liked this chapter. Let me know your thoughts in the comments.