My little Judith

Forty-four

Alec POV

The door slammed behind me. I didn't worry if it broke, I didn't care if it came off it's damn hinges. All I can hear is her. Her cries, her sobs, her begging for me to let her go. Never has she rejected my touch, never has she not wanted to be in my arms.

I walk away. She needs her time, I'll give it to her. All damn night I will walk around this pack if it means she will talk to me tomorrow. I'll fix this, I have to. I didn't realise that I hurt her, I didn't realise that I had Mandy that close. I guess I'm just a fuck up, I've done something and I'm being punished for it. I know what I did, I stayed with Mandy, I shouldn't have, I let her wrap her arm around me and be close to me, I should've moved away.

I hugged Mandy in front of my mate. Mandy was there for me, she let me talk to her, let me speak freely without judging me, she let me confess my worries about Judith to her and not once did she judge me. I saw her as a sister, someone I could confide in that wasn't my family or Marco or Whitney. My mind is always filled with Judith I was blind to Mandy's motives.

Over the last three years we connected and she was just there. Like I had Lola with me, but it wasn't Lola. I guess hugging her felt like hugging my sister, like Adam is like a brother to Judith. But she never hugged Adam longer than a greeting. I stood there hugging Mandy for a while, ignoring the one that is most important to me.

I wasn't lying to Judith. I will follow her, I'd follow her anywhere. I will let no man near her, I will not let her take someone else's name when she can have mine. I refuse to have anything less than my mate in a house with children running around one day. All I know is that I will fix this, I will find a house somewhere else, I'll make it all to her standards like this one in the pack. Far away from people, far away from Mandy and Adam, far away so we can be mates. So we can go back to normal.

"Alec." She called my name. I didn't stop walking. I don't want her near me. She needs to get the fuck away from me before I beat her just like Judith did. I caused this, I gave her signals that I didn't even realise I was giving. Judith is my mate, not Mandy. I want Judith here with me, not Mandy. I'm angry at myself, I confided in the wrong person. I knew what she was like, I knew she was trying to sleep with me but I wouldn't let her.

I saved myself for my mate.

"Fuck off, Mandy." I growled still walking, not turning back to face her.

"Stop walking. Talk to me." She huffed. I stopped and turned to glare at her.

"What? So you can use my vulnerability to get close to me?" I growled. "That's what you did right? You saw something you liked the look of and used me to get close to me. Because I was vulnerable because I had issues, you let me talk about my problems so you could use that to get in my bed."

"That's not what it was at all." She scoffed.

"Mandy I've lost my mate because of you. I don't fucking like you, I thought of you as my sister, someone to talk to about my problems because I couldn't do it with my own family. You disrespected my mate, you made her hate me. You knew I didn't like hugs, yet you pushed my mate out of the way to get to me."

"You hugged me back, Alec. Don't put all the blame on me."

"Yes because I was happy to see you. I saw you as a sister. I have never given you signs in any other way to show you that I liked you other than a friend. How could I? The only thing we ever spoke about was Judith, not my family, not my personal shit, not you, not the pack, Judith. She's my mate, not you, not anyone else. My little one. And because I was stupid enough to lean on you when I needed someone, I might have lost my mate because you couldn't just be normal. You had to be the person everyone warned me about. Some slut trying to get in my bed. I was dumb enough to tell everyone that you were a good person, that you were the sister I never had. But you played me. You saw that Judith was with me, you knew as soon as you saw Judith within more of a foot of me that she was my mate. Yet you still pushed her to the side, you still hugged me more than necessary, you kept pulling me close when we got closer to the BBQ just to rub it in Judith's face. Well congratulations, Mandy, you succeeded. I may not have a mate anymore, the only, the one good thing that has ever happened in my god forsaken life hates me. And it's because you're a jealous bitch who can't have what she wants." I yelled.

Mandy glared at me. Hate in her eyes. "I wasted three years on you." She spat out. "I listened to your pathetic words about some bitch that you ran away from. You weren't even that good looking when you first came here, I just wanted someone new. But then you got hot, look at you now, Alec. You're like a god and she can't even appreciate you, she doesn't appreciate you. She is so much younger than you, so immature and a dumb little girl. You could've had a woman, a smart, strong woman by your side yet you still chose her. I did so much for you and you don't even look my way. You see me as a sister." She scoffed. "How nice. You lead me on, you rejected me time and time again but I still came back because I love you. I love you more than that bitch could ever love you. So love me back, Alec."

I chuckled at the delusional bitch. "I will never love you." I spat out. "I belong to one woman and one woman only. That woman isn't you. Mandy you may be older than Judith, but she is more smarter, sexier, maturer and so much more fucking beautiful than you. I am Judith's, I will be hers no matter how much you want me. I will push you away every time you come at me, I will move my life away and my mate just so I don't have to see you. This pack would be so much better off without you in it. You may think you have everything, but you're actually an ugly person who ruins everything around her. I'd rather die than have that around my mate. So do everyone a favour and fuck off to some other place. You're not needed here."

"You're really going to choose her? Over me?" Mandy smirked. "Honestly Alec, you're so fucking dumb."

"You were never a choice, Mandy. Are you that fucking dumb to think I'd choose you over the most amazing woman I have at home? You're much more dumb than you look. Just leave me alone Mandy, I don't want you in my life." I told her before turning around and walking away.

"Fuck you, Alec. You will fucking pay for this. I will make your life a living hell." Mandy screeched before I heard her stomp off. I rolled my eyes and carried on walking.

The sun set, it was dark. I walked around the pack a good few times. I went to the blacksmith station. I did this when I was feeling low, I'd make something. I have a bunch of stuff at Marco's house that I made while I was thinking about Judith, when I missed her the most. Everything I made is for her, flowers, cars, little things that she could look at and think, my mate made me that.

Lighting the fire, I put on my apron and started making the most important thing I've ever made. It took me a few hours to get it right, melting it and re-moulding it to perfection. By the time I was done, the sun was rising, I was covered in coal and sweat. Sighing, I put my creation in a safe place where only I know to find it. I took off my apron, put out the fire and walked back to the house.

A car was parked outside, Marco's. I frowned and went inside. Marco was sat on the sofa with the tv on, Whitney laying on the other asleep. And next to Marco sat Damien. Harriette obviously upstairs with her daughter.

He gave me a look of sympathy. I shook my head and looked down in shame. I walked upstairs into the bedroom. Judith lay there asleep cuddled up to Harriette. Harriette looked at me and sighed.

"Please." I whispered. "I know, I fucked up I know that. I don't want to hear it, not from you, not Damien, not anyone." I told her and went over to my bags. I got our clean clothes, I grabbed a towel and went into one of the other bedrooms to shower. My first one alone since Judith's birthday.

I fucking hate it.

What do you think? Let me know in the comments.