My little Judith

Fifty-eight

Alec POV

I sit here as I listen to Judith talk to her parents. Each and every time I hear her speak, my heart chips away a little more. Had she not been found, I wouldn't be able to listen. But the more I do, the more it breaks me. She doesn't want to see me. She wants to leave.

I don't blame her. Not one bit. And I only have myself to blame for it. All I'll have to do is wait. Just wait for her and when she comes back to me, I'll be better. I'll do better to make sure nothing like this happens again. She won't be in danger, I'll make sure of it. Judith wants her space, fine. However to make sure she's safe, I'll stay with my parents because I would never forgive myself if I stayed in this pack and something happened to her.

"It'll be alright, Alec. Things will get better." My dad, Ryker, said.

"It'll get better, sure. For her it will. But me." I scoffed. "I am nothing without her. I am nothing if I don't have Judith by my side. I am nothing if she leaves."

They stayed quiet. I mean, it's not common for mates to separate. Even temporarily. There is obviously something wrong with me if I can't even keep my mate happy. That's the only thing I should have down to a T, keeping her happy, making sure she's laughing not crying. And all I seem to do is make her cry. There has to be something wrong with me.

"You can go in and see her if you want." Damien says to my fathers. With a small sigh and a nod, they leave and go to see Judith.

"Alec." Damien started.

"I know." I look up at him then away again when I feel my eyes gloss over. "I heard. There stuff in the house to make dinner, a bedroom is set up for you guys. I'll stay until she's discharged. Just to make sure no one else can hurt her."

"Alec you're going to need rest. You haven't slept in three days already. You need to shower, rest and eat. Sitting here isn't doing you any good." Harriette sighed a little.

"I'm not moving from this chair until Judith is at home and safe." I spat out.

"We'll bring you some food later." Damien told me, he put a hand on my shoulder before him and Harriette left. Once again, I listened in on Judith to make sure she was okay.

"He blames himself that you got hurt. He's fighting really hard not to come in here because he knows you don't want to see him. But his wolf and vampire need to know if you're okay. For their eyes to see that you're not dead or halfway there. All of them just need that reassurance." My dad, Ryker, stated.

"I don't blame him, he shouldn't either. If he can fucking hear me then he better listen closely. This wasn't his fault, nothing was. What I blame him for it walking away, I told him if he walked I'd leave. I blame him for pushing me away when we should be together no matter what is said between us. I wait and wait, I'm tired of waiting for him. Now he has to wait for me, he has to wait until I'm ready to see him. But for this, there's people to blame and Alec isn't one of them."

Judith ranted. Tears slowly fell down my cheeks because she isn't wrong. I did this to myself. I did push her away, she told me and I didn't listen because I'm the biggest fool on this planet. And she's right, she waited for me, now I have to wait for her. And I will wait, and wait, and wait, and wait no matter how long it takes. I will wait for her to come back to me. Just like she had to.

I ran my hands through my hair and felt the grease on my fingers. Harriette didn't lie when she said I needed to shower. I probably look just as shit as I feel. What more can I do? I refuse to leave, anyone can come in and harm her just to get back at me for killing Mandy. If I listen in then I'd be able to hear if anything happens. I'm close enough to stop anyone if they dare to hurt her.

A few minutes later my dads come out and sit with me. "She's going to sleep. We'll stay to make sure nothing happens. Go home, sleep, eat, shower. You look like complete shit, and this is the first time I have ever seen you with greasy hair. Go home, mate. Take care of yourself." My dad, Ryker, said.

"I can't leave her. I left her multiple times, look where that got us. I'm not leaving again." I shook my head. "I can't leave her." I whispered.

"Judith is in safe hands." Dad, Dustin, kneeled in front of me. "Nothing will get past me or your father, we promise you. You've seen to her, now you have to see to yourself. You spent three years separated, you can do it again for an hour so you're not ending up in a hospital bed because you haven't fed and become malnourished. Alec, go home."

"Judith doesn't want you here anyway." Dad, Ryker spat out. "She doesn't want to see you, she'd rather of died than be near you. Go home, Alec. You're not needed here."

A lump formed in my throat. My counterparts aching to take over just to prove to him that he's very wrong. But I can't let them. My dad isn't wrong. I'm not needed here and Judith doesn't want me to be here. So what am I doing? A tear slid down my cheek when I stood up. I looked at both my parents before walking down the hall.

The pain in my chest is well deserved. I should be feeling like this, I should be dying inside because I put my mate through so much shit. All I can do now is do my best to make it up to her. I'll do anything to make things better for Judith. And as I left the hospital, I listened in. Only to hear my dad say,

"It fucking killed me to say that to him."

A/N: Hi sorry it's been a while. Here's an update for you guys. Hope you enjoyed it.