My little Judith

Sixty-five

Judith POV

My heart hammered in my chest as I sat on my bed waiting for Alec to come back. I have no idea where he's gone, when he'll be back. Hell I don't even know if he will be back. I don't know why I didn't tell him. I'm so fucking stupid.

I should've told him. How much more dumb could I be? I came off the pill originally to have a period, it never came. I have taken it religiously since I was seventeen. I felt like I needed a clear out, I felt off and I figured having a period would be good for me. But Alec and I are at it like rabbits all the time. And I forgot I stopped taking it.

After that I waited for a month, nothing happened. After the second month I couldn't get my mind off it. Usually when I've eaten too much like anyone else I bloat. And for a week now I look constantly bloated. I got scared and didn't tell anyone. I didn't even get a test, I didn't tell my mum and I tell her everything.

Even Whitney and Maggie have noticed a change in me. I've always worn somewhat of skin tight clothing. For the past two weeks I've been wearing baggier T-shirts, I've been wearing leggings and not jeans. They keep asking me about it and all I tell them is that it's more comfortable and I'm trying something new.

If I am pregnant I want it to be Alec knowing. I want him to be the first, even before me. I mean, I have a pretty good guess but when I do take a test, I want it to be Alec who knows for sure. Telling my mum would've made it easier on me by getting off my chest, however wanting Alec to be the first person knowing out weighed that.

"Judith?" Alec called me. I wiped my cheeks free from tears and cleared my throat.

"Upstairs." I answered then heard his heavy footsteps run up the stairs. He came into the bedroom holding a box of pregnancy tests.

"Just to be sure." He said. "We need to know and then go from there."

I nodded and stood up taking the box from Alec's hand. As I went to turn away, Alec pulled me so my back was to his chest and his arms wrapped around me.

"Whatever happens now, just know we'll be ready. No matter what we'll get through it. We always do." His hand travelled to my belly. "And if there is a baby, it'll be so loved." He whispered. "He or she will no nothing less than that, we will love it so much no one will ever doubt it."

Tears rolled down my cheeks as I leaned back against him. Alec held me and kissed my cheek and head while wiping my tears away. Only to be replaced by more.

"I'm scared. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you." I sobbed. "We would've been more prepared, we would know and it wouldn't be like this."

"Don't do that, little one. Don't blame yourself. There's more to it, I know there is. You didn't plan this, neither did I, but it's happened and if it's positive we'll work through it. And if it's negative we can start trying whenever you're ready. Whether it's now or in a centuries time, I'll be here right by your side. Right here for you to lean on, no matter what happens now, we will handle it."

"But what if you wanted to leave? If I'm pregnant then you don't have that choice, you'd feel obligated to stay when you don't love me anymore."

"I will never stop loving you. If anything I can't stop, I won't and that's a promise. I'm here for eternity, nothing and no one will become between us. Come on, let's get this over with so we can process it better." Alec stated, his arms keeping me in a comforting embrace.

"Come in with me." I whispered as I looked up at him. Alec nodded and took my hand as we both went into the bathroom.

With shaky hands, I took out the test and did my business. Once I washed my hands, Alec pulled me to his chest and held me again as we waited in silence. Once again tears rolled down my cheeks as I tried to keep my sobs at bay.

"Why did you come off the pill?" Alec filled the silence.

"I just didn't feel right. I figured I needed a good clear out, have a period and see if that was what was making me feel off. Maggie and Whitney suggested it because sometimes they get like that too. Then I forgot, I didn't have one and then I went two months without one. I got scared and kept it to myself." I explained. "I'm sorry." I whispered.

"There's nothing to be sorry about, little one. I wish you would have told me, but we'll work through this. It just might mean that the moon goddess thinks we're ready. That you're ready. You are amazing with the twins, maybe it's her way of telling us we're ready to take this on. And if you're not then maybe it's because you're body is still adjusting to not being on the pill. But I have a hunch that you are because a period should've come pretty much a few days after you stopped taking the pill."

I stayed silent and kept my head in Alec's chest. I want to hide. I'd love to have a baby, Alec would be an amazing father. I feel like I've just sprung this on him. It's not fair, I should've told him.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you." I sniffled and looked up at him. "I just felt like I needed a clear out. Then I forgot that I stopped taking it and-," I started.

"Little one, you don't have to explain to me. Your body is made to have periods and you stopped them for so long. I understand that you need to have that clear out." Alec chuckled a little. "And your memory is shit. There's been so many times where you've forgotten things, asked me a question twice because you forgot you had already asked me. I'm not mad, not at all. Shocked, I'm shocked and overthinking all of this. But like always, we'll get through it."

I nodded and leaned up to kiss him. After a few seconds we pulled away and rested our foreheads together. After a few minutes, I knew we could look at the pregnancy test.

"You look. I can't." I whispered. Alec rubbed his hands up and down my back and kissed my head. A silent reassurance I wasn't in this alone. Of course, when it comes to Alec and I we've always got each other no matter what. Alec has me and I have Alec.

Alec pulled me away from his chest and looked down at me with a soft smile. "You are going to be the best mum ever."

"We're having a baby?" I hiccuped out. "We're gonna have a baby?"

"Yeah, baby, we are." Alec nodded with a soft smile.

"You're going to be such a good dad." I cried. Alec pulled me to his chest again and held me tight.

"You're going to be such a great mum." He whispered lovingly.

Hope you enjoyed this chapter.