I'm in love /Q.G/ part 2 (:

Bad mental health

March 11th
Mom; I think you should try it today
Me: ok
Mom: it's gonna be okay
Dad; just let me know and you can move schools I hate that damn school
Me: ok dad
I got up and hugged them both
And got in the car leaving
I got Starbucks
Cause I'm gonna need something
I went to school and sat in my car
Before someone tapped on my door
Scaring the shit out of me

I rolled my window down and he poked his head in my car
Aiden: hey jumpy
He kissed me
Me: hi
Aiden: what's wrong
Me: nothin
Aiden: hmm what's wrong really
Me: it's just scary to go back in here

Aiden: I'll be back
He jumped around my car and sat in the passenger seat
And pulled something out of his pocket
Aiden: roll your window up here
Me: what?
I shut my window seeing the vape in his hand
Me: why do you have that
Aiden: cause I bought it it's mine
Me: why that's not good
Aiden: okay gotcha
He put it back in his pocket
Aiden: thought we were cool my bad
Me: we are cool but why are you vaping
Aiden: because the same reason I get high
Me: what's wrong
Aiden; your not stressed out about coming back
Me:yeah but not that stressed
Aiden: ok well I'm going inside since your judging me
He got out and left me there
I sighed and got out
Running up beside him
I grabbed his hand
Me: I'm not judging you for that i just wanna know like why your doing it

Aiden: because I don't feel like I'm going crazy
Me: why do you feel like that
Aiden: because some crazy fucking guy tried to kill me and I didn't do shit to him
Me: do you like feel like you should be dead
Aiden: yeah
Me: ok
Aiden: why
Me: cause I feel the same way
Aiden: yeah
Me: I do

We went inside and it felt different
Like all new paint and floors
The principals all welcomed us
And we went to class sitting in science
She went over our new policies
We have these cards that we have to wear always and these really harsh doors that we have to be checked and no one is allowed in the buildings
They are gonna start forgiving absences aslong as you have a doctors note or a serious reason
So like if you got a doctors appointment or something early then just don't come after they'll forgive it
Or if you have to be checked out for a appointment just stay home

Blah blah blah
I bit my nails
Before I laid my head down
We didn't learn anything all day it was just really nerve racking

And I heard a loud bang that scared the living shit out of me
I sat in the bathroom texting Aiden

Aiden: whats goin on?
He walked in the bathroom looking at me sitting on the counter
Aiden: hello what's wrong
Me: where's that thing
Aiden: what? Not until you tell me what's goin on
Me: I heard something and it scared me I just need something so give me it please
Aiden: after you looked at me crazy cause it calmed me down?
Me: aiden really?
He dug it out and gave it to me
And I hit it
Damn that's itchy
Aiden: it takes a minute
I nodded and dig my eyes in my knees
Aiden: what'd you hear ?
Me: I don't know but it was freaky
Aiden: okay well your okay, it was probably the air or something dumb
Me: I love you
Aiden: hey I love you more
He hugged me
Aiden: your okay
He kissed my head
And I hugged him back
Aiden: we gotta go to class Cmon you can come over after school
I got up and went to class
After school
I went to his house and we went inside
And laid down
Watching tv
Aiden: wanna get high
I nodded biting my thumb
He laughed and we went out to the back yard and he rolled up a joint
Licking it shut
Aiden: want the first hit?
Me: mhm
He put it in my mouth and lit it for me

Me: holy fuck that's strong
I coughed a whole lung out of my system
Aiden: youll get used to it
He took it from me hitting it
Me: that feels weird
Aiden: just give it a minute okay
He gave me the joint and I hit it holding it for a second
And I sat back against him
Waiting to feel something
As we passed it back and forth
But instead it made me feel nothing
I felt empty
Me: that's good
His hand laid on my stomach
Me: what do you feel
Aiden: nothing, that's why it's good
Me: it doesss