I'm in love /Q.G/ part 2 (:

Infertility

June 11th
Alex's pov
The last day I miss my kids so much already
We played a couple games and I wrote them letters and gave them all post cards to send to me one for each month over the summer
Me: alright remember keep those in a safe spot give them to your parents or keep them safe I want to hear all about how you spend your June vacation
They agreed happily
Me: and I'll have a treat for you guys when we come back okay!

They agreed and we started dismissing
And I gave each one a hug
I'm gonna miss them and there cute little faces
I went home and brought pizza
Rowen: are you ready! I'm ready
He walked around me
Me: mhm I'm ready
Rowen: let's go
He took a slice of pizza
Me: well we have time I wanna eat this pizza won't be good in a hour
We ate the pizza and then went to the doctors office
Gyno: alright this is 1 month off right
Me: mhm
Gyno: and what are the tests showing
Me: I haven't taken any other then ovulation tests
Gyno: alright well I believe this week your ovulation
Me: yes
Gyno: ok, this is the week
Me: we've been trying I just don't think it's working
Gyno: probably because your eggs not ready
Me: okay
Gyno: thru this week especially and next week too I wanna see you next week for some blood tests
Me: ok

June 16th

Gyno: so do you want the good news or bad news first
Me: um good
Gyno: well good news is it could possibly have a easy fix
Me: what's wrong
Gyno: your egg count is extremely low, for your age you should have almost triple of what you have
Me: so what does that mean
Rowen: is there not a way to make more or something
Gyno: no women are born with all the eggs they'll have
Rowen: oh
Gyno: when did you start your period
Alex: the last day of 5th grade
Gyno: so around what 10
Alex: yeah
Gyno: and you've been loosing an egg every month for 14 years
Rowens: that's like 170
Gyno: yeah
Gyno: you easily could've been born with a lower amount to begin with
Me: so I can't get pregnant
Gyno: well I'm not saying that you don't have any eggs but I think we should start some treatment shots to help your egg and his sperm find eachother
Me: so what kind of treatment
Gyno: I'll prescribe you these shots and what your gonna do is give your self the directed shot every day you've been ovulating all week yes
Me: um yeah yes
Gyno: alright I'll give you a 2 month supply and every day you'll take these shots and it should help you get pregnant
Me: okay
Gyno: it'll just basiclly be like a flashing light telling the sperm to go here
Me: alright
I laid back
I'm gonna have to give myself shots
Gyno: I recommend a calendar or something to keep track of the days and dosages
I nodded
Scarred as shit
I hate shots

Fuck this do I even want a kid now ?

Yeah
I do I want my own baby I enjoy caring for these other people's kids and watching them grow and learn and make friends and I want that
We eventually left with 2 big boxes of needles and a hazardous waste bin

June 20th
Me: rowe I need you to do it I can't do it
Rowen: are you sure
Me: mhm I'm too shaky
Rowen: alright
He took the needle
Rowen: come here squeeze my arm
He came close lifting my shirt on my bra
Rowen: you won't even feel it it's tiny
He kissed my head
Me: I feel it now
Rowen: no you don't your psyching yourself out
Me: no I'm not I do feel the needle in my skin
Rowen: I haven't put it in yet, close your eyes
Me: I'm scared
Rowen: your scaring yourself lex breath and close your eyes

Me: I'm still scared
Rowen: do you wanna go get pizza after this
Me: mm yeah we can
Rowen: do you wanna get pepperoni Or sausage
Me: you know I only eat sausage

Rowen: I know but it got your mind off the needle
He dropped it in the box
Me: what? You already did it
Rowen: yeah all done let's go get pizza
Me: you did it?!
Rowen: yes
He placed a bandaid over the spot
Me: I can't believe I didn't feel it
Rowen: cause you were thinking about pizza not needles
Me: your a genius
Rowen: I know baby I got 3 degrees sayin that