The Winners Take It All | Chishiya [English]

Deep inside my heart

It had been a difficult step.

I felt uneasy as I walked down the path. The gravestones were everywhere, and occasionally you could see other people standing in front of the family graves and mourning.

(A/N: I don't know if it's clear, so here again for clarification: there are family graves in Japan. I'll paste you a picture here so it's a little clearer :] )

It didn't take long until I found the familiar gravestone.

How long had it been now?

Since Nana died.

I hadn't been back since her funeral.

Back then, I just couldn't bring myself to face reality - I didn't want to believe that she was really dead.

And now not only her grave was here, but also my sister's, who I had hated all my life.

But those feelings were gone. I only felt a certain emptiness, nothing more. It was as if my soul knew something I had no idea about.

"Nana? Ayumi? I brought you flowers..." I mumbled a little embarrassed before placing the bouquet in one of the vases. Now the grave was no longer bare.

I just stood there in front of it, not knowing what else to do. Deep down I questioned whether it had been a bad decision to come here.

My attention was drawn to a man who suddenly stood at the next grave. Like me, he had put a bouquet of flowers in one of the vases.

I discreetly read the name of the gravestone.

Danma.

The family name seemed familiar to me somehow. Wasn't there a beach bar that had that name?

The man next to me apparently noticed my look because he nodded at me.

There it was again, the familiar feeling. It was like I had seen him before. He looked like someone I knew, but I didn't know him.

"Are you also visiting friends or family?" he asked me and I nodded in surprise. He smiled. It was a gesture you wouldn't have expected from a man like him.

He was strongly built, his head was shaved - he was probably an ex-military man.

"Mmh," he lowered his gaze, "I'm visiting my best friend. The catastrophe took him away from me." He was deeply saddened, you could see it on his face. I suspected that he and his best friend had had a very deep relationship.

"I'm very sorry," I looked at him, "I lost my twin sister in the accident."

His eyes widened briefly before he nodded as well. "My condolences," he replied as we stood next to each other.

"What was your best friend's name, if I may ask?" I asked and he started to smile again.

"Takeru," he cleared his throat, "Danma Takeru. He was often called Hatter because he took over his father's millinery shop." A stab went through my chest and for the briefest of moments I couldn't breathe.

Another name that seemed strangely familiar and triggered a chaos of emotions in me.

"And your sister?" he wanted to know and I looked at our family grave.

"Hayashi Ayumi," I answered him. He showed no reaction other than staring into space.

"Excuse my rudeness, but do I know you from somewhere?" he suddenly wanted to know and my discomfort increased.

So he felt it too.

"I don't know, maybe? You look familiar too, just that I don't know from where I know you," I replied. He seemed to be thinking.

"My name is Aguni Morizono," he introduced himself and I felt the unpleasant tingling in my stomach.

I name I knew, but it was also a name that I didn't know.

"Hayashi Ayuna," I replied out of politeness before bowing again.

I suddenly had the desire to leave this place as quickly as possible. I found these vague, strange reactions on my part scary and besides, I still couldn't stand for very long with my bad foot.

"It was nice meeting you, Aguni-san," I said goodbye and he gave me an encouraging smile before I turned to leave.

I didn't like what was unfolding here. Did I have a trauma? Was it just my imagination?

After all, imagination is also education – the education of the soul.

Maybe my body was trying to tell me something that was beyond my horizon. Something I could never reach for.

My gaze fell on a particularly well-kept grave; it also seemed to be quite new.

Sakusa Yuki.

My body slammed on the brakes. Something happened inside me that I would never understand.

An unimaginably pain overwhelmed me, my heart clenched. The sadness came with full force.

I touched my eyes in shock. They were wet...

I cried?

Why?

It was a stranger, damn it!

My decision was clear. Something was wrong with me, my mind seemed to have gone crazy.

I frantically turned away from the grave and left the cemetery as quickly as I could.

I was 100 percent sure that I wouldn't be able to visit him again any time soon.

Still shaken, I made my way back to hell.

Damn it, I slid from one problem to the next without being given even the slightest bit of rest.

Annoyed, I pulled my front door key out of my pocket and slowed down the last few meters to collect myself before unlocking the door to our house.

Unfortunately for me, they were both at home. Mother came straight to me as I was taking off my shoes in the hallway.

"Welcome back, Ayu!" her voice sounded unusually cheerful. I looked at her angrily. "Use my nickname one more time and you'll regret it," I snapped at her, and her happy face turned serious. Apparently she wasn't expecting that answer.

"Just be careful how you talk to me, Miss," I hated it when she talked to me like that. It felt like she still thought I was just a little kid.

She looked down at me.

"I think you have the wrong expectation, mother," I hissed the last word, "I'm only here because I have no other choice. So, do what you did before and just ignore me!"

Couldn't they see that I had other problems?

No, probably not.

Mother looked at me, I couldn't read what she was thinking.

"Give me three weeks and I'll be out of this hell," I threatened her, "And if you even try to control my life, you'll have problems that will leave you speechless!" with these words I stormed past her and locked myself in my old room.

I felt like a kid again.

Also a direction I didn't want to take.