Survive 2

Chapter Four

San Francisco, California, U.S.A.

November 12, 2022.

Madison Stone's Point Of View.

I come home tired and throw my bag on the couch. I went out to walk around the city with the intention of clearing my mind, but it didn't work.

I go up the stairs and enter the suite I am in, the same one I used to stay in when I came with my parents.

I always liked to come here. My parents and I used to come here on some weekends or during the summer vacation, but it has been a long time since we came here, so staying here is also being good for me to kill the longing I was feeling for this place that I like so much.

I go into the bathroom, take off my clothes and take a long, relaxing bath.
Then I leave the bathroom and put on some comfortable clothes, go downstairs and go to the kitchen, where I make an omelet and orange juice to satisfy my hunger.

I take the plate and the glass of juice into the living room and sit down on the sofa. I take the remote and turn on the TV, putting on something for me to watch while I eat.

I choose to watch To All The Boys I've Loved Before for the 27th time, because I really like this movie.

After the movie starts, I put a pillow on my lap and place the plate on top of it, starting to eat my snack right away.

Since the movie is a teenage romance, as I watch it, I am reminded of the romance I experienced a short time ago.

I wonder how he is doing, if he has texted me anymore after that day, if he is missing me or if he has moved on and is with Sarah.

Andrey and I were doing so well. He treated me well and always made it clear how much he liked me, so I don't understand why he accepted our breakup so easily.

I was angry that he would rather believe her than me, so I said that, but it hurt to hear him say that he would stay with her, that he really thought it was better to be with her than with me.

If I had known that if I called him that day we would end up the way we did, I wouldn't have called.

Time passes and I turn off the TV after the movie is over. I get up from the sofa and pick up the plate with the cutlery and the glass, then go to the kitchen, where I wash them, dry them and put them in their respective places.

I look around and find myself with nothing to do. Without a doubt the worst thing about being here these days, although that is what I wanted, is to be alone and not have anyone with whom I can talk.

I think about what to do and end up leaving the house, walking close to the sea, where I sit on the sand, in a part where the ocean waves cannot reach me, hug my legs and take a deep breath while I stare at the horizon and feel the wind whipping against my body.

Today is being difficult, because it is one of those days when the longing for Anthony hits hard and the only thing I can do is cry. I left home today just to see if I could forget about it, but everywhere I looked, I was reminded of him and something we experienced.

Yesterday was three weeks since his death and today is two weeks since his burial.

Flashback On: Two weeks ago.

"Shall we go daughter?" My mother approaches me, putting her hand on my shoulder and I deny it. "Why not? The funeral is already over." And hearing that only breaks me more.

"Let me stay here for at least five minutes alone.. please."

"Madison.."

"Please," I ask again and she snorts ruefully.

"Five minutes," she gives in and then slowly moves away, until in a moment it is just me and Anthony left here.

My mother is very worried about me because of the blackout I had last week after receiving the news of Anthony's death. She didn't even want me to come to his funeral for fear that I would be sick again, but I insisted, because I wanted to say goodbye to him one last time.

I approach his grave and crouch down, looking around as I try to believe that I am not in a graveyard.

I take a deep breath and begin.

"It's been a week since you left, Anthony, but to me it feels like years. I miss you and it hurts me deeply that you have crossed a line that I cannot follow. It hurts to know that I won't see you again. It hurts to know that I won't feel your embrace anymore. But I am happy to know that all my memories of you are good ones and that the only bad thing that will happen every time I remember you is that I will cry because I miss you." I give a short pause. "Now that I can't be near you, I will settle for your ghost, because I know you will never leave me."

I try to hold back the tears, but I can't, so I end up collapsing, making that the only noise in this place be the sound of my sobs as I cry.

It is extremely painful to say goodbye to the person who practically raised you, who taught you from small to big things, who cared about you, who you knew you could count on, who loved you and was always there for you.

"Thank you for everything, Anthony. I love you." I say and finally place the flowers on top of the grave, getting up soon after and walking away.

Flashback Off.

"Madison," I wake up from my memories and my heart speeds up.

"How did you find out I was here?" I ask, startled by the fact that he has found me, and he gives a smile with a corner of his mouth.