Survive 2

Chapter Six

San Francisco, California, U.S.A.

November 13, 2022.

Madison Stone's Point Of View.

"Can I ask you something?" Bryan asks.

"Yes." I withdraw my gaze from the landscape and place it on him.

"Who else knows about what you told me yesterday?"

"Uhm.. Ashley, you, and if my mother read the letter, she knows too," I answer and he nods. "Is he still teaching there?" I ask and he denies, causing me for at least an instant to think that the principal regretted what he did.

"He hasn't been going to school since penultimate Tuesday, but no one knows why." He says and then quickly look at me because of the traffic. "Do you think it's because..?" He doesn't finish speaking.

"I don't know. Maybe yes and maybe no. I only will know when I go back."

"It's true. We can't jump to conclusions." And I nod my head in agreement. "But can I ask you another question?"

"Yes." I say without giving too much importance.

"You said that Mrs. Stone, Ashley and me know about it, but and what about Andrey? He doesn't know?" I deny it, making he gets surprised. "Why?"

"Because we broke up before I told him."

"He hasn't been talking to me since the last time you went to school," he comments and I stare at him not believing that Andrey really took that hug of ours seriously.

"What?!"

"He for some reason is angry with me." And now I take a deep breath.

"He saw us hugging that day and got it into his head that you still have feelings for me."

Bryan looks at me quickly and in a way that I cannot decipher what he means, but then quickly turns his attention back to the road without saying anything.

We remain in an awkward silence for a while. I am dying to ask him if he still has feelings for me, but I don't think there is any need for me to ask him that because if the answer is yes, I will have to tell him who I like, who he already knows, and I don't want to hurt him.

"These past few days, have you thought about him?" And now I give a small, unfunny laugh.

"I can't get him out of my head since the first time I saw him," I give a small smile and I know he realizes that I am not happy about my breakup.

I know that whenever Ashley or anyone else would ask me if I was interested in him, I would deny it to them and deny it to myself as well. But I denied it because I was not willing to delude myself.

I started to like him from the moment we talked at the school on the first day of school. Only five days after that, we kissed for the first time. Two weeks later he asked me to date him. It all happened very fast and we knew that there were chances of it going wrong, but I was hopeful that it would work out because I was and still am in love with him and I felt that he felt the same way about me.

But unfortunately just as everything happened fast, everything ended fast too.

"I hope you were sad like that too when we broke up," he says humorously, trying to break the heavy mood that remained and I laugh. "Not that I want to see you sad, but it's because.. you know.. so I will know that you really liked me."

"I understand. And yes, I was upset when we broke up, but it reassured me somehow to know that at least we would still be friends. Whereas with Andrey.. I don't know if the same thing will happen."

"Who did you love more? Me or him?" And I am shocked at how direct he is in asking his question, making me at a loss.

That's a really good question, because I never have stopped to think about it.

Bryan was my first love, I was in love with him and I was sad when we broke up. My feelings for him never went away, they just changed shape. Before I wanted him as my boyfriend, but soon after we broke up, I started to want him only as a friend and I still think this way today.

Andrey was the first boy that I ever loved. I love his blue eyes, his straight light brown hair that is always cut beautifully, his way of dressing, his way of thinking and caring about others. I love every detail of him.

So it is really hard to answer this question because I loved them both, but somehow in different ways.

"For the delay in answering I already know the answer," he says and gives me a smile, but it is clear the disappointment behind it, making my heart break.

"I didn't delay because I loved Andrey more than I loved you and yes because I had never asked myself that before."

"So what was your conclusion?" He asks and I know that if he wasn't driving, his eyes would be focused on me.

"It might look like I'm hiding something, but I'm not." I speak and pause for a moment to think about what I am about to say. "You were my first love. I liked and still like having you near me. Andrey was not my first love and I don't know if he will be my last either, because I am still very young, but I know that he will be one of those unforgettable loves, as also yours, only in a different way. I loved you both, but at the moment, I really can't answer you who I loved more," I say and he agrees.

"If you guys work it out, is there a chance you will go back to him?"

"I really don't know," I say and look at him. "Why all these questions?"

"Because I care about you and I don't want to see you suffering out there," he says and I nod, not wanting to pursue the subject, but a doubt comes to mind, so I decide to ask it.

"Aren't you interested in any girls at that school?

"I am interested, but only in one," he answers and I don't know if I like what I hear or not.

If that girl is me, it won't be nice for him, but if that girl is someone else, I hope they work out.

"I'm rooting for you to work out with her then," I say and he cracks a smile.

"I hope so too."

"How long do you think it will take us to get to Los Angeles?" I ask, trying to change the subject and really wanting know what I ask.

As by the time we finished talking yesterday it was already dark, we decided it was better to leave in the morning, so we slept there and left early today with the intention of arriving in Los Angeles when the sky is still clear, but we have already been on the road for a couple of hours and as we are passing in front of some food establishments, I am starting to feel hungry.

"I think in about three, four hours we will arrive. Are you hungry?"

"A little bit. How about you?"

"A little too." He looks quickly to the side and sees the same places that I am seeing. "Do you want to stop at one of these places for lunch?"

"Yes. I do." And he agrees, immediately starting to look for a place to park the car.