Help Me Touch You || Vkook ff

Chapter 78

A/N: 

Hey again lovelies~~ I hope you enjoy this chapter. 

I miss you guys. Let me know what you think and where you believe the story is headed. 

See you in the comments!!

P.S - Still unedited.

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"I need to hear those thoughts and know what's going on inside that head if I have to make an attempt at helping calm that raging stress that I see taking shape on your face Taehyung."

Taehyung met Jungkook's eyes in a hurry as if to justify his state hastily.

"What did you expect Jungkook, happiness and excitement? As if knowing that I share my time, my life and my body with others wasn't enough, as if not having any privacy in my thoughts wasn't enough either, now I have to share my consciousness. Inner monologue? Huh! Why not kick it up a notch? Inner dialogue! That is better!"

"Taehyung, please. We're doing this for you remember? You asked me to help you. This is how I can do that! Give it a chance."

"Look Jungkook, I understand what you're trying to do, I really do, but you can't expect me not to have any sort of negative reaction to finding this out. I have to expect a voice in my head. Do you get how frightening this entire thing is for me? I mean, try to put yourself in my shoes for one minute. This isn't fun. This is an actual nightmare."

Jungkook dropped his gaze to the ground for a few moments and then slowly looked back at Taehyung. He opened his mouth as if to utter words but he only came up with a sigh. Taehyung waited patiently for Jungkook to gather either words or maybe courage to go forth with the conversation, but either way he wasn't left to wait for too long. Once Jungkook felt ready to do his part, he muttered.

"I know you're upset with it all. I would be too. I'm not going to pretend like I know what this feels like, but you must know that I can at the very least understand it. I thought you trusted me? Right now your doubtful approach is making me feel like I am abusing your trust in me. Who knows? Maybe I am. God knows none of the things I am doing are entirely selfless. And I'm sure you know as well as I do I have my motives. Shit, it hit you in the face how smitten I was first time I laid eyes on you. You know it, we both do, and I've been feeling so fucking guilty, I feel like a piece of shit if you'd care to know. I'm a disappointment and I bring shame to psychologists with the way I've handled things. But damn it I'm trying for you too. Wanting to help you was as much a selfless decision as it was a selfish one. And when you think even for a second that I can't get how scared you are all the time..."

Jungkook shook his head as he bit his lip. It was evident his voice was about to betray him and expose the emotional turmoil inside. Taehyung watched carefully as if to try and read Jungkook like the latter always monitored his reactions to do the same.

"I just really hope you can see that I am trying to do my best to deliver what you asked of me. This is no longer purely professional and I get it and if after all you decide to put an end to it, I'll understand that too, but I owe both you and me to give this a fair shot. I hope you'll allow me that much."

"Jungkook, I don't know where all that came from. Dealing with me has not been easy I'm sure. I really need you to know that I appreciate your help, more than you can imagine. I don't care about the rest. If you think I had no motives other than your professional help then you are not as smart as you think you are. The point is I need to be allowed to process this. Just because I'm getting stressed about it, does not mean that I'm not considering it or that I am going to panic and cause havoc or something. I get that I don't have the best track record in processing my feelings and controlling my reactions I get it. But it's every time that I get handed a bad deal that I run away or shift. I'm not that weak man, so don't make me out to be one."

Jungkook held adoration in his eyes as he looked at Taehyung.

"Weak? Taehyung, seriously. If there is anything I think of you it's definitely not weak. On the contrary, I am amazed. Look what you've done with your life. You've had every reason to hide and cower, yet you've done anything but. You've achieved more despite of your situation than anyone who's been dealt a better hand."

Taehyung couldn't help but smile at Jungkook. Have they been more candid with each other until now? Unlikely, since candid came at a price, especially for him. But here he is, miles ahead compared to before yet the time it took him was so little. He was so lucky, and with the way Jungkook sounded earlier, Taehyung was sure Jungkook felt the same way. It seemed like though the road to recovery was rockier than it used to be before he met Jungkook, but it also seemed shorter, and for the first time ever he had the rest of it in sight. Every version of his journey that he could imagine now had a single constant; Jungkook. Maybe this wasn't as scary as it once was, now that Jungkook was with him, now that someone finally had his back.

Maybe, just maybe, he could do this after all.