Help Me Touch You || Vkook ff

Chapter 42

A/N: Lovelies, the book will be rated mature now. I hope you've figured out what you plan to do if somehow you lose sight of the book. The chapter's unedited as I am late for work. 

Enjoy chapter 42!

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"Wha- Now? Like right now?" – asked Jungkook, quite bewildered.

"Yes, what's wrong with right now?" – Taehyung lifted that eyebrow. A look he'd seen on V rather often; an image of V's signature smirk comes to mind.

"Nothing, I guess. I just wasn't prepared. I didn't even know if you'd want to speak to me. Let alone have a 'heart-to-heart' on the spot."

"Well, it's funny how things turn out, I suppose. So, how do you want to go about this? What do we do? How do we begin?"

"Well I wouldn't mind taking a different approach. Let's not make this into a typical session you would have." – said Jungkook.

"What exactly do you mean?"

"Well I'm going to take you up on that offer you had for me. We're doing this as friends."

"O-kay?..."

"Well go ahead then, friend. Friends share."

"What do you want me to share?"

"This is not about me. This is about you. I will not push you as your shrink. You just tell me what you want, push yourself to the extent that you want. We want you happy and calm. We're doing this to lift some of the burden you've had to carry alone. This here" – Jungkook motioned with his finger, pointing between the boy and himself – "this right here is your safe space. Nothing forced. Just shared."

"I think I like that."

"That's good. A friend you wanted, a friend you got." – And Jungkook stopped talking.

Silence reigned as it always did around Taehyung. Jungkook kept his calm, laid back air to himself, as if he had nothing he was waiting for, like he was here only to spend time with a buddy of his. He just looked around and kept glancing at Taehyung, leaving the boy unsure if Jungkook's demeanor was helping him or pressuring him.

Jungkook noticed Taehyung struggling to form syllables, words and sentences. It was as if Taehyung forgot all form of communication and it was frustrating.

"Taehyung, relax man. No pressure. Whenever you're ready."

"Can you ask me a question? I just don't know how to set forth to a ranting spree."

"Um, alright. How about this? When was the last time you had a chat with a friend? Not me, not Dr. Han and not your team at work."

Taehyung looked down at his fidgety fingers. It seemed to be a habit of his; anytime matters started to feel too real, he'd be staring at those slender fingers of his.

"I don't know."

"Yes you do. But it's alright if you don't want to say. We can stop it right here, if it's making you uncomfortable."

"No, no. I want to keep going, I do. It's just not easy, revisiting my past. I already do more than I like."

A peaceful moment later Taehyung spoke.

"I guess ever since I dissociated. Parents gradually started keeping their children away from me; from the freak, if you will." – Taehyung would have stopped there but this casual air around them seemed to make him want to say more than he usually would.

"I suppose" – he continued – "my only friend later on was my rapist himself. I'd be forced to listen to him talk before the deed, after the deed, during the deed. But nothing really pleasant in the last case. Outside of raping me he acted like an uncle and a lover. I was always around for those. During the deed V would front and he'd take the pain for me. He used to love me, protect me. I don't know when or why he started hating me and tried his best to destroy my life. Or what's left of it. He one day cut off any kind of connection he had with me. Did he ever mention anything about it to you?"

"He might have. Why? Interested?"

"Yes, very much so actually."

"Well, I wouldn't want to disclose anything he hasn't agreed to. Though, he never mentioned it confidentially. He never said it was a secret. In fact he was brashly very outspoken about it. But it was heavily related to the fact that you have tried to deny him in front of your family. You've hid him off from the world and reduced him to be a fib of an 8 year old boy. He's felt betrayed by you."

"Well, what do you expect? Should I have just shouted it out on the top my lungs that I'm sick in the head? That I have other people living in here?" - He exclaimed, pointing to his head, poking it violently.

"Hey, relax, Taehyung. We're just talking. That's all I know. I never got the chance to dig into it with him. He's tricky to work with and very vigilant."

"I'm surprised I was able to keep my condition a secret so far, if I'm being honest. The crap he pulls on me and my life... It's always on the very edge of falling apart. I come to in places I don't know, unaware of where I've been and what I've done. I feel as though he teases me. Tries to let me know that my whole life is in the palm of his hands and I'm at his mercy."

"That may be the case. I think he believes he hates you and I think you believe it too. But the way I see it, if he really wanted to ruin you, he would have done so by now, with ease. You're widely known in the country and so are vulnerable. He would have crushed your career and your life as you know it, had the thought of it really pleased him. He remains your protector Taehyung. He may hide it, but he's still the one that fronts when you're in trouble and scared."

"It would have been nice to be in contact with them. They are a part of my life. I've been with them through most of it, though they've shut me out completely."

"Alright then, how about we start there? Let's make your system stable again and get you guys talking. Maybe even create a peaceful environment in that mind of yours. What do you say?"

"Sounds good to me. I don't know how they will regard it though. Especially V; I don't think he's going to want to have anything to do with me."

"You leave V to me."