Help Me Touch You || Vkook ff

Chapter 40

A/N:

Hey faemily, my lovelies. I will take a second of your time to warn you of something... other than the fact that this chapter is unedited. I want to rate this book mature. Now, I don't know how that will affect any 16-17 year olds that are underage yet reading this. Honestly i hate this but i want to protect my work from any sudden reports and sudden deletion of my work. Imagine how devastated I'd be. I'm worried for any of you guys, who are really invested and would not be able to read it. Maybe if you have it in your libraries and if you follow me, you will still be able to see it... I don't know honestly. The point is, most probably a week or 10 days from now I will rate it mature. So that will give you guys enough time to sort something out if you care enough to stick with me still, be it making another account or whatever it may be. I do hope you'll still stick with me and I am sorry. Also from now on, I don't wish to say all i have to say here in the A/N-s. So whoever wishes to keep up wit any news I might have or just keep contact with me, follow me, because I will no longer leave long A/N-s. I say this cz most of you thousands of readers who don't follow, will not be aware of what will be going on regarding updates and news. So this is a fair warning. Thanks for coming to Dr. Han's session lmao.  AlSO another update coming on Sunday!! 

ENJOY CHAPTER 40!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Silence. It seemed to be a clingy guest. It was a kind of silence that was wrapped around their throats, choking in the words that both of them were probably thinking and wanting to say. Sometimes that happens. The quiet drowns out even the white noise of the busy world. The only thing that could heard was their loud thoughts and the thuds of their nervous hearts.

Taehyung had calmed down. And he was surprised; at the fact that Jungkook had that much mental power over him. No one had been able to calm his panic attacks other than Jungkook. And he was worried; this power the boy had meant he could hurt him, manipulate him, morph his life and bend it to his will; should he ever want to. He could call out alters, calm his panics, stop his shifts. Jungkook could either be his safe haven or he could be his doom. The question is could he trust him with himself?

Meanwhile, Jungkook was thanking heavens that he pulled it off, that he stopped a shift. He was grateful for this way he has with the broken man. He was just hoping the latter would let him help. Never mind his broken heart. Never mind how bad he wanted V to be here so he could tell him he loves him and he's sorry. But the thing was, he loved all of this man. If he wanted to claim any part of him as his, he had to have him fully. All the faces of Kim taehyung must want him as desperately as V wants him and as selflessly yet selfishly as he wants all of them to be his.

Gazes back and forth from couches across each other that seemed to be continents apart, sneaky glances and a whole lot of awkwardness later Jungkook decided to speak up; the silence was too deafening.

"Let me..."

Taehyung looked at Jungkook.

"Let me come back to the sessions. I know I can help you."

Taehyung looked down to his hands seeing his fidgety fingers once more.

"I don't know Jungkook. I don't think you're good for me..." – Taehyung looked back at him and continued – "I don't know if you're god for me; I'm sorry."

"Not good for you? But did you not see? We just stopped a shift together. That's good. That's good! Isn't it?"

"Yes. You stopped me from shifting. Yes! That's exactly why I don't want you around!"

"I...I am not sure I understand what you're getting at. Do you want to shift??"

"No, that's not my point."

"Well then what is it?! Explain to me because you're sounding quite oxymoronic."

"Look man. You helped me, and you've helped me before but can't you see how you affect me? It's like you have some kind of control over me. And it's freaking me out! I don't know how safe I feel around someone who can make me shift or stop me from shifting! I just can't be at ease knowing you can disrupt my life should it please you. I mean... I don't know... maybe you miss V tomorrow and he fronts and there goes my life again... Just-" – Taehyung sighs – "I just don't know what's right here, Jungkook."

"Can you not just trust me? When I say I have nothing but you're good in my mind, I mean it. I have a lot to clear up with V... I really do. And I would've wanted him to be here so I could set things straight. But when I found out that Taetae can control who comes out, I asked him to let you front. Now, if I had any hidden agendas with you or any selfish motives, do you think I would have done that?"

"I guess no- wait... what did you just say?"

"What? What did I say?"

"Did you just say Taetae made me front? He can control it?"

"Yes."

"How do you know? How do you know that when I don't?"

"I have been trying with my all might to explain to you that the real reason I'm around is to help you. I told you I found some stuff out!"

"But how did you know that?"

"Taetae himself told me."

"Why would he trust you with that kind of information? IT could hurt him or all of us for that matter."

"Do I have to keep repeating myself, Tae?"

"Don't call me that."

"What? Tae?"

"I said don't call me that!!"

"Alright, jeez, fine... Taehyung. Is that better?"

"I don't need bullshit attitude about it. Just don't call me that."

Jungkook noticed how Taehyung got overly self-defensive about it. He also noticed a bead of sweat forming on his forhead. He decided it might be best to let this go. He doesn't want to cause another possible breakdown.

"Okay, okay. Don't worry. I won't."

"Thanks."

The quiet started coming back when Jungkook chose to speak up yet again. He knew if he let the quiet consume them long enough it would be difficult to talk again; to make Taehyung talk again.

"So what do you say? About me joining in on your sessions again?

"I don't want it."

Taehyung saw Jungkook gulping. Jungkook was looking into his eyes; confused.

"Don't misunderstand this, Jungkook. I just want my sessions with Dr. Han to remain unchanged and unaffected. It's like my safe place, it's calm and peaceful when I'm there and I hear him speaking and it soothes me. It feels like I'm at home, in the presence of a caring father, giving me advice and hope."

Jungkook was looking down, feeling small, smaller than he's ever felt; uncalled for and uninvited. He felt like an intruder.

Taehyung continued – "I just need that constant, I need it unchanged. And frankly, with you there, it will no longer be peaceful and at ease, I will not be calm and hopeful. I will be on edge, worried and I'll feel like the walls are closing in on me. Because Jungkook, that's what you do. You're the truth that keeps slapping me in the face. The truth I can't escape. And Dr. Han is my escape. Don't take that away from me."

"Do you really want me out of your life, after everything I told you?"

"That's not what I said. I just said I don't want to you when I'm at the clinic."

"How the hell else am I supposed to help you?"

"You will come to me; once a week. Here, in my home. And you will get paid."