Help Me Touch You || Vkook ff

Chapter 43

AlN: Expect another chapter tomorrow. 

It's unedited, of course. Sorry for the wait.

Here's chapter 43! Enjoy 

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The next couple of times that Taehyung and Jungkook met weren't productive in terms of the real reason their "friendship" was formed. They had met exchanged a few words, the Taehyung had gotten uncomfortable and stopped.

Jungkook never pushed him past that point. The purpose of this whole thing was Taehyung's comfort with Jungkook and the trust in him to take it easy on him. The purpose was that unwavering trust. It was apparent to Jungkook; the fact that unless he built that strong bond with him that was reliant on trust, not just obsession with one another, Taehyung was never going to honestly expose his mind... nor his heart.

So for those couple of times, they did what most young friends would do. They played video games. As they did now that Jungkook was over at Taehyung's apartment again.

"Hah! Take that model boy! In your pretty face!"

Taehyung grinned at Jungkook and quietly laughed. He liked this. He's never had this. He's been too afraid to even dream of having this.

"Why are you crying, Taehyung?" – Jungkook asked, quite worried.

"What did I do? Was it that I called you a 'model boy'? It wasn't meant to be degrading! I promise!"

Taehyung raised his hand and wiped a tear, rather shocked to have found it there. He hadn't realized he had shed a few.

"No, no! Don't worry, it's fine. You're fine. It's nothing you said or did. Honestly, I hadn't even notices I was crying myself."

"But what happened? Why are you crying? We were having fun..."

"I think I'm just happy and sad right now. I'm so happy to have this moment with you, yet I'm said I've never had it before. I haven't had this since this entire mental thing started. I forgot what it was like to have a friend, what it was like to play and laugh and have fun with a friend. I've been so alone for so long. It feels good. But I can't help but wonder... is it real? Or are you just getting into my mind? Am I just a challenge?" – Taehyung was sobbing now.

"Oh Taehyung, no. Please don't think that. This is as real for me as it is for you. Don't say that. Ah! I wish I could hug you right now!" – Jungkook noticed how Taehyung shifted in his place.

"Don't worry. I'm not going to. Just... I would if I could. I'd comfort you. I'd tell you to not listen to that voice in your head that's telling you that you're less than others, that you're a freak, that you are unworthy of normalcy. You are beautiful and I am only the luckiest bastard ever if you consider me a friend. Yes, this whole thing is to help you, to ease you into opening up and talking. But damn it! It's genuine and from a place of true care. Don't doubt that. Alright?"

Taehyung wiped through the streams of tears running down his face as he nodded frantically.

"God, I wish I could hug you."

Taehyung looked at Jungkook, looked in his eyes, maybe deep into his soul and gave him a weak, sad smile, one that hurt Jungkook's soul, one that spoke of too many horrors.

"Should we take this chance to talk some?"

Taehyung gave him a slight nod.

"Do you want to calm down first?"

Taehyung gave him another shy nod.

Jungkook giggled.

Once they were seated on the same couch with some distance between them, Jungkook thought he'd ask a few questions to spare Taehyung the pain of the awkwardness that is opening a personal conversation without a prior reference to it.

"Do you ever wish that you could touch people? Or have them touch you?"

"Yes. I have."

"Am I one of those people?"

Taehyung's eyes widened, his face was reddened.

"Earlier when I said I wished I could hug you, was that one of the times?"

Taehyung blush some more. Jungkook smiled. He got his answer. Yet a small voice was heard.

"Y-yes."

"Then I'm assuming, other than integrating and making a final fusion happen, you would also like to stop being haphephobic."

"Yes."

"Have you ever touched anyone or been touched?"

"Not after my uncle, no."

"Not even at work? Or outside by accident?"

"I weasel my way out of any physical contact at work. I even do my own make up. Those close to me know at least that I don't like being touched and they comply. Also, I don't go outside for walks. I almost never leave my place, unless for work, in which case I am transported by car."

"So never? Not even once?"

"No. You'd be surprised at the lengths I go to to avoid being touched in any way."

"How about lovers?" – Jungkook asked.

The blush on Taehyung's face returned.

"I've had none."

"If you did, who could be worthy?"

"I guess... maybe... the singer, Park Jimin."

"So, a man?"

"Yes, I came out to the whole world when I was gaining popularity in the modeling world. But my parents knew before that. I came out when I was in my teens."

"How could you be so fearless? Didn't you think it might affect your career?"

"It might have been on my mind for a fleeting moment... but when I thought about it, I came to the decision that it was better to do it early and have fans who only truly support me as I am. But also it was done out of spite. Anything to embarrass my snobby parents."

"How about me?"

"What about you?"

Jungkook pondered for a mere second about whether he should complete his question or not. The he decided 'fuck it'.

"Could I be worthy?