Help Me Touch You || Vkook ff

Chapter 109

I know, I know. It's a day late. Apologies. 

I am neck-deep in work. But hey! 'Tis here.

Hope you enjoy, my loves. 

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Headaches. Endless tears and debilitating headaches. That would sum up most of Jungkook's life since the bomb was dropped on him a couple of weeks ago. And now all that banging after he had finally fallen asleep. Jungkook had hoped to get a break from his unacceptable reality by sleeping, which didn't happen a lot lately. The exhaustion had turned him into somewhat of an insomniac. Funny, how that happened. He couldn't understand it himself. But it had finally occurred, he had drifted off. For one moment in all the moments that had merged into an infinite loop of day and night, he had found peace. Slumber had found him at last but then that banging came again, over and over, forcing him and dragging him back into his limbo, back to that dreaded, inescapable actuality.

He had barely cracked an eye open when he heard the yelling as well.

"Jungkook! Jungkook, open this door right now! Jungkook! Don't make me break it down! Jungkook!!"

As he slowly came to, he could make out who the relentless creature was.

"Jungko-"

The door swinging open shut the voice up.

Jungkook sighed and not a moment later he had already sunk to the ground and cradled his knees. As his head hung low, he confessed.

"I can't do this right now, V. You're going to make it harder for me. Please don't make it harder for me."

The boy's voice cracked and those pesky tears came streaming down his cheeks again; the tears that had kept him company when V hadn't, the tears that never seemed to dry.

"How can I ever make things harder for you my love? Don't you know me at all?"

V lowered himself and knelt in front of Jungkook. He took the boy's cheek in his palm as he pleaded through his gaze. He was begging him, begging Jungkook to allow him to help.

"I'm sorry V. It's not about you. Don't take it the wrong way. I'd hoped that you would've heard from Taetae, but I can't see you. I am not allowed to. I need some time to myself. There are things I need to reflect on. And I can't do that with you within my reach. So please, please..."

"You can't even get the words out. Are you sure you want me gone?" – V asks, knowing very well the truthful answer to his question.

"I know you know that I want you to stay. I want you to stay more than anything. That's why I need you to make the decision to leave me. I can't force you away. But I shouldn't be with you right now."

"That's exactly what you should do; the only thing you ever need to do is be with me. How can I help if you don't let me? How can I make it okay again if you don't allow me?"

"That's just it. You can't make it okay. No one can make it okay. It'll never be okay again." – Jungkook sobs as he sinks further into his limbo and gets further away from V's reach.

But V wouldn't have it.

"Your lack of faith in me is a bit insulting my love." – V retorts sarcastically.

"Don't make light of my situation V. You have no idea of the burden of the decision I have to make. It's weighing down on me, it's choking me, forcing me to choose and I can't choose, I can't choose, I ca- I can't choose V!"

Jungkook screams and sobs and unfurls as he pulls at his hair. Now that was the worst thing V had seen. This was not what Jungkook was supposed to be experiencing. This cannot happen, this will stop now and it will never happen again. Not if V had anything to do with it.

"Hey, hey! Stop it baby! Stop hurting yourself!"

When words didn't seem to reach Jungkook, V acted on impulse. He pushed the boy to the ground and cover his body with his, preventing any more self inflicted harm. V pinned Jungkook's arms to the ground and took his lips. The lips he'd been longing for since he last tasted them were wet with tears; tears that had now stopped their downpour.

As Jungkook was shocked out of his nervous breakdown, V spoke.

"You don't have to choose baby. You don't have to choose. I promise."

V looked into Jungkook's eyes, ingraining his promise onto the boy's soul with his piercing gaze.

When Jungkook finally found his voice he could only ask.

"You don't even know what I have to choose V. I have everything to lose. Everything."

"I know about everything baby. I know what you said to Taehyung, about going back to the old man and not being able to see us, and I connected the dots. I knew you were being forcefully separated from me in order to keep your job. Because if it was only your career at stake you would have run to me, you would have sought comfort in me. You wouldn't be isolating yourself like this. He's making you choose. Either me or your future. Right?"

Jungkook could only nod, fat teardrops collecting at the corners of his eyes.

"Jungkook, you must know... You have no future without me." – V promised, or threatened. Jungkook couldn't tell. He never could.

"But my career... I've worked so hard... I can't give it up... But I can't give you up either. I've been thinking about it. Every second of every day... for weeks... I don't know what to do. I just know I can't choose." – Jungkook muttered – "What do I do?"

"You trust me. That's what you do. I already told you. You don't have to choose." - V slid the back of his down Jungkook's wet cheek, wiping some of the tears away.

Jungkook tried to calm his mind and understand what V was trying to communicate to him.

"I trust you." – Jungkook gives in.

"That's good." – V smiles, appreciation and pride evidently there, right there behind that very smile. "Now get up, there's a lot you need to hear about and a lot you need to know."