Doing The Dance (Jackson Avery Fanfic)

thirty-four

2017

"What's up with you today?" Steph asked while we ate lunch. I looked at her.

"Why does anything have to be up?"

"Because we know you and know when something's wrong" I sighed.

"It's not wrong per se, but something's up" Steph smiled in victory.

"I knew it" I rolled my eyes.

"So, what happened?" Jo asked.

"How long after your fiancé died would you wait to go on a date with someone else?" I asked back, both of them looking at each other with wide eyes and stupid smiles. "Never mind, I don't think I want to know your answers"

"Taylor! Who asked you out? Was it a doctor?" Jo asked.

"Was it Avery?" Steph asked next.

"Just tell me it's too soon" I expertly avoided that situation but may have landed myself in a new one.

"How long has it been?" I sighed.

"Six months. He died in August and it's almost February"

"And how do you feel about it all?"

"I don't know. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel"

"The only person who can answer that is you Taylor" Jo said, resting her hand on top of mine. I smiled and nodded.

"I guess so. I already gave up the apartment, I think going on a date would cause a giant storm or earthquake. Or something" Steph laughed.

"Why?"

"Because Luke would send it to get the message through to me" We all laughed this time.

"Okay, but what if he sends you a positive sign?" Steph tested.

"I, uh. I don't know"

"Well, I do know. It's great that you loved him so much that you don't want to forget him or hurt his spirit, Taylor. But you gotta keep living your life, or else he's gonna be mad anyway. He'd never hold you back if he were alive, don't let him do it dead" I felt the tears welling up in my eyes and smiled through them.

"Thanks Steph" She smiled.

"You're welcome. Now, why is your name on the surgery board!?" Jo's eyes snapped back to stare at me as well, as I laughed.

"Jackson convinced me to join him for a skin graft. He said he doesn't need my help but if I can prove I can stand there in the OR, it won't be long until I'm actually in surgery for real"

"Your date is with him, isn't it?" Steph asked. I sighed and nodded.

"He asked me the other night."

"And you haven't said yes?" Jo asked, me shaking my head.

"I couldn't. I had every single emotion fighting over first-place"

"Like?"

"I was mad at first. I couldn't believe he'd just come right out and say it. He's in the middle of the ugliest custody battle and my fiancé is dead. Then I got sad, thinking I was hurting Luke by just being asked. But then"

"Then?!"

"Then I couldn't stop smiling. Which only upset me further, because I thought I was hurting Luke by enjoying it. I'm just so confused!"

"Wanna know what I think?" Steph asked.

"Not really" Jo laughed along with me as Steph rolled her eyes.