Doing The Dance (Jackson Avery Fanfic)

fifty-two

2017

Hit by a truck.

It's never happened to me, but right now it's the only thing that feels even close to what I'm feeling.

Hit by a truck.

At least it seems I still have all my thoughts. That's one positive. But until I actually opened my eyes and spoke out loud and moved, who knew how well I handled it?

"How did it go?" Jackson's voice came. I felt a hand in mine. God, all I wanted to do was squeeze it back! But I couldn't move.

"We got the tumor. All of it. And neuro activity has been unchanged since we brought her out of surgery. But she hasn't woken up or responded to reflex yet" Derek said next. Jackson sighed from beside me.

"I would have been here as soon as you brought her back in, I swear I would have. But Harriet-"

"Don't beat yourself up, Avery. You being here a few hours ago versus you being here now isn't going to matter much to her. You're here at all. That's what matters" Derek said. Thank god for Derek, I knew he'd be the one to get through to Jackson when I couldn't.

"Right, thanks. I'm sorry, I just wish she would wake up so we could know what she's lost"

"Avery, this is normal. If she was awake and lucid right now then I'd only fear she was having a surge. I'd be more worried if she suddenly sat up and recited the alphabet than if she doesn't wake up today. We'll keep monitoring her but that's the best we can do for now"

"You're sure she didn't crash? Or bottom out? Or anything she didn't want?" Jackson asked.

Oh, leave him alone Jackson! The man did his job, and I'll wake up soon enough. I hope.

"There was never any moment where I thought we were going to lose her, Avery. Please let her rest and give her time. She'll wake up" I heard Jackson sigh again.

"I'm sorry, you're right. Thanks, Derek" I heard footsteps leave, so I assumed Jackson and I had been left alone.

God, my head hurt. Why didn't we ever try telepathy before I had my brain sliced into?

"How is she?" I heard April's voice come.

"She's okay. She's stable and Derek said they got it all and she never came close to crashing. It's now the waiting game to see if she wakes up and how much of her is left."

"She's going to be fine, Jackson. Stop worrying" Jackson's hand squeezed mine tighter and I felt his lips on it, lingering for a moment before he spoke again.

"I know. It's just, hard. Seeing her here in this place like this. The last time she and I were like this, I was nearly shot. Charles and Reed were. You nearly were too"

"I remember. Look, keep holding her hand and talking to her. She can probably hear you and if she could talk, I'm sure she'd be telling you to quit your whining" Jackson chuckled. I wanted to as well because April was right. I could hear him and that's exactly what I would be telling him.

"Thanks, April"

"You get some rest. If you want any time with Harriet, just let me know. I'm sorry about today, I didn't think they'd close the daycare while I was in that insane surgery"

"It's fine, it's not your fault."

"I know, but call me? If you need anything, okay?" April said.

"Okay" I heard Jackson whisper and then the footsteps left, and we were alone again.

This limbo was weird. I knew I was fully responsive to sound and touch, but I couldn't express it on the outside. I was trapped in my own body. But Derek had said it was normal, and April had even said I probably could hear. I hoped this wouldn't be forever.