ℙ𝕃𝔸𝕐 𝔽𝕆ℝ 𝕃𝔸𝕌𝔾ℍ𝕊 ✔ ¨°ʰʸᵘⁿʰᵒ°¨

¨°thirty-three°¨

Spring feels better in the countryside. Maybe it's because of the fresh breeze caressing your face, carrying every scent to your nose. Of fresh cut grass. Blooming flowers. A stream that burbles between the fields and along the woods. Or just smelling the sunshine and feeling its warmth on your skin.

Or just maybe.. Maybe it's Minho's warmth folded over Hyunjin's hand as they walk with brushing shoulders on the side of a dirt road that makes Hyunjin feel this blissful.

The walk toward his grandmother is in silence. Still holding hands, feet moving in unison.

Hyunjin feels bad that this makes him feel so good right now, knowing the pain Minho keeps bottled up. The lack of verbal communication is telling the artist that the oldest is swimming in his guilt-filled thoughts.

He wants to point out this pretty flower he sees as they pass by, making a mental picture of it so he can paint it later at home.

He wants to sit in the grass and let Minho's head rest on his lap so he can enjoy the cloudless sky, and the smell of green and let the warm rays on his skin soothe him to sleep while Hyunjin plays with his brown locks.

He wants to give so much and some more so Minho feels the pain maybe a little less. That his heart isn't as heavy as before when they walk into her home. That this moment, which maybe will be their last, is filled more with happiness, than regret.

But as they stand in front of her door, waiting for Minho to gather his courage and carry it over the doorstep, Hyunjin knows he can't give him any of that than just a small smile and a hand that is never letting go.

A soft ruffle on the door attracts a home nurse. Her smile is covered in wrinkles and her black hair is pulled back into a low bun at the nape of her neck, sprinkled with grey hairs here and there.

"Minho, so good to see you, son." She widens the door to let us in. "How have you been?"

The nurse has been assigned to Minho's grandmother since the fire incident. So through the years, nurse Park became an addition to the family.

"I'm okay. How is my halmeoni doing?" Hyunjin stands with his shoulder behind the dancer's, their intertwined fingers hidden. The blond feels the stiffness in them, dreading the answer.

And the nurse knows, she gives him that look; the one that's apologetic, empathetic, and sweet. "She's in her room, sleeping. Very tired lately. But having you here will give her strength."

Minho nods, squeezing the blood circulation off in Hyunjin's fingers.

As if they are in some type of game where there's behind every new door a monster that awaits to be slayed, Minho takes a moment before he enters. He needs to slay his own demons.

"My halmeoni, she's-"

"It's okay," Hyunjin cuts him off with a reassuring smile and nudges him closer to the door. The brunet heaves a sigh and slides the door open.

After the fire, the house was too unstable and needed to be knocked down completely. With the small amount of money they got from the insurance company, the help of the village, and his uncle, a new home was built in the same spot.

This time her bedroom has a nice big window and a glass-paneled sliding door to the garden. Her room is turned into a shrine of her old home; all her stuff that survived the fire is placed there. They are the last physical memories of her time with her late husband, and of Minho's father and his brother who grew up in the old house.

The dim bedroom is filled with her heavy breathing, following the rhythm of the motorized oxygen tank.

Her bed is in the middle of the room, the headboard facing the wall. From afar she looks peaceful, Hyunjin thinks. The white sheets tugged over her chest and her arms over the covers on her sides.