I Don't Want to Fall in Love</3

Chappie 68: Walls Up.

--->MAI<---
I shut the door as soon as they left. I can still hear them chattering but I shut them out as i walked to my room. Its still saturday, only a few hours after the video and everything. Pinuntahan ako nina Aria, Nat, Jacob, Nick, Josh and pati narin ni Bernice to check up on me.To make sure 'I'm fine' after the drama in school.

I told them I'm fine, that they don't have to worry about me. They looked at me like I'm crazy. They insisted that they were here for me. Well, who else would they be here for? Ako lang naman nakatira dito. Nat and Aria insisted on staying over to keep me company but of course I declined.

They updated me about the fight and asked me about what Gino said but I decided not to elaborate. So after staring awkwardly at each other and finally figuring out there isn't anything to talk about they left.

I walked to my room and collapsed on the bed, I hear my phone ringing and as I checked who was calling me, it was Gino. I pressed end and turned it off. I culred up in bed, clutching my pilow to my chest as tears finally came.

Nakakainis, bakit ganito? Ang sakit sakit. Pinangako ko sa sarili ko noon, na kahit kelan hindi na ko masasaktan, na kahit kelan hindi ko papayagang may manakit sakin. Na kahit anong mangyari hindi na ko magpapapasok ng kahit na sino.

Bakit kasi ang tanga-tanga ko e. Ang bobo mo Mai, just because you're in a different place, just because you're a different 'person', doesn't change the fact that people are people. That no matter how they treat you, something will always break, something will always crack and they WILL ALWAYS end up hurting you in the end.

Kaya nga sinarado mong sarili mo diba? That's why you put up all the walls around you to keep everything and everyone out. So you don't have to feel like this again.

Pero dahil tanga ka.

You let them inside.

And because you trusted them, unti-unti ka na nila ngayong nilulunod sa kasinungalingan.

--->GINO<---
"What were you thinking? Fighting?! And in school too? Ano bang nangyayari sayo, Gino? At si Rick Montano pang inaway mo?! Anong gagawin mo ngayon? You're suspended for three days! And next week ng exams niyo!" Nakaupo ako sa sofa sa bahay habang nakatayo sa harapan ko si Mama, pinagagalitan ako, pinangangaralan. Pero hindi ko na maintindihan yung sinasabi niya. Bumabalik parin yung isip ko sa sinabi ni Taray. 

"I kissed Rick, I kissed him yesterday, it felt good, and I didn't even think twice as I did it. Hell, I didn't even think about YOU, and it felt WONDERFUL."
"I kissed Rick..."

"I didn't even think about YOU..."

"And it felt WONDERFUL..."

Nanginginig sa galit ang buo kong katawan, yun nga lang hindi ako galit sa kanya. Mas nagagalit ako sa sarili ko, kay Rick, pero hindi kay Mai. Sinaktan niya ko pero hindi ko parin magawang magalit sa kanya. Kahit na pakiramdam ko nadaya ako, kahit na sa isip ko pinaglaruan nila ko.

Paano? Kung sa umpisa pa lang naman ako naman yung naunang mandaya at maglaro. Dahil ako naman talaga may kasalanan ng lahat. Siguro kung hindi lang talaga ako gago, sana okay pa kami. Kung sa simula palang nag-effort na kong kilalanin siya. Kung hindi ko inunang kayabangan ko.

Masaya na kami e, okay na kami. For the first time, alam ko na yung tunay na pagmamahal, naramdaman ko yung totoong pakiramdam na nagmamahal ka. Na gusto mong gawin lahat mapasaya lang yung taong mahal mo. Na kahit na sobrang inis na inis ka sa kanya hindi mo parin siya magawang iwan. Na kahit na hindi kami magkasundo siya parin yung hinahanap-hanap ko. Na kahit na hindi siya sweet katulad ng iba, siya parin yung pipiliin ko.