Lost Girls

Obsession

TW//: Self-harm, obsessive behavior, gore

My thoughts of her drown everything else. I try to close my eyes and fall asleep but everytime I do vivid images of her play and scenarios run and I find myself with my eyes wide open once again.

Autumn isn't who I thought she was. She is nothing like Delilah. I want to scream, cry, tear something apart, but I can't. So instead I turn to the only other viable solution.

I slip out of bed, as silently as possible, avoiding the creaky spots of the floor. I reach under my mattress and locate a small pocket knife I got for Christmas from my father. It's a black steel blade, about 2", with a dark wooden handle.

I pull out the blade and wipe it off with my T-shirt, before sitting back on my bed and contemplating whether I want to go through with this. I scrunch up my hoodie sleeve and let my eyes glaze over my already butchered arm.

My hand trembles at the cold steel blade sends icy chills down my spine. My head swims and thoughts of her return. Maybe I'm sleep deprived, but I swear to god I see her standing infront of me.

"Delilah?" I whisper into the shadows.

"What are you doing?" She steps into a moonlit spot in my bedroom, and I realize I must be going crazy.

There are bloody cuts running straight down her arms, and she's dressed in a white gown, like a wedding dress. I look down at my shaking hands and realize I'm dressed like a groom.

"You wanted a wedding so bad... You rushed into it... I bought a ring and legally we couldn't be engaged, but we were in our hearts. Or was I the only one who was married to the relationship?" Her voice trails off, and she looks down at the floor and crosses her arms as fat tears roll down her cheeks and create puddles I could swim in.

"But now you're telling her you want to marry her. And telling her you want her to be your forever. It's been a month and you have 174 photos of her saved on your phone, photos she never took. And now, after you made her your world, you're still tormented by me?" Her voice spikes into rage, and I watch in terror as her eyes burst in her skull.

She dives towards me, and my eyes shut as I await the climax of this nightmare. I hear whispering and screaming and open my eyes to see Delilah hanging from my ceiling. I look away and etch another scar into my arm. Everything stops. The screaming, the scenes, everything. I look down and smile at the red trickle of satisfaction.

Her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her her

My head screams over and over as I make another incision. And another. And another. My eyes force me to slip into peaceful silence, and when I wake up, my arms are coated in dried blood. I pull down my hoodie sleeves, wipe off and hide my knife, and then head to the bathroom to get ready for the day.

Autumn Autumn Autumn Autumn Autumn Autumn Autumn Autumn Autumn Autumn Autumn Autumn Autumn Autumn Autumn

I hum each syllable of her name over and over as I brush my teeth and clean my arms. Once I'm done in the bathroom, I continue humming her name as I'm in my room getting dressed and ready for the day. I check my phone and see no new texts from her. Bummer.

I lay down on my bed and check all the platforms she's on, to see her recent activity. I do this for awhile, until I eventually decide to text her. Immediately after I send her a text, Delilah texts me.

TheDelilahLyrics
Hey! We don't speak much lol so I just wanted to ask, hru?

Rexasaurus69
I'm doing alright, just a bit busy atm.

TheDelilahLyrics
Ooo
With what?

I decide to leave her on read. I go to her Pinterest, Wattpad, and all other platforms she has, and spend some time checking everything she does. I know there's a feature that shows I'm viewing her profile, but I hope she never discovers it.

Rexasaurus69
I was just looking for some inspo to draw. Got any ideas?

TheDelilahLyrics
Try drawing a still image of something, for practice.

Rexasaurus69
That's boring

TheDelilahLyrics
Ok

Rexasaurus69
Give me something to draw. Like tell me something you want me to draw.

Read 7 minutes ago

Delilah is a pretty known artist, since she is very talented when it comes to art. She can draw, paint, compose, sing, and even play guitar. She's written a few songs even, with her friend Ivy. Delilah sings and Ivy works the instruments.

Ivy and Delilah have become very close recently, which is getting on my nerves. They hang out a lot, have tons of fun together, and seem to just really get each other. I wish they weren't as close as they were. I don't want Ivy moving in on what's mine.

Delilah seems to be moving on from whatever we had that night. She has apologized quite a few times, and explained that she doesn't truly understand what happened, or why. She says she needs to learn herself. But I don't believe her.

She definitely still wants me. She keeps trying to talk to me, she seems very interested, and even though we stayed friends, I know she wants me as more. She's jealous of Autumn. She wants me so bad she can't stay away.

Sofia and my other friends keep telling me that Delilah is happy on her own, but I know she misses what we had. I know she's not over me and I know she needs me. She can't get over me.

Sofia said that Delilah found someone else, but I think she's just saying that to help keep Delilah's popularity status. How cliché. I'll make Delilah come back. I'll use Autumn until Delilah gets so jealous she fights for me. She's mine after all.