(Silently Drowning Series - Book Two)
Maybe that's it. We eventually go numb; because you can't break a heart that's already broken.
Maxwell Augustus; A boy who has seen nothing but hatred, yet somehow he's filled with so much love. Covered in scar...
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Maxwell Augustus
I just want a day where it feels like I'm not falling apart anymore.
Where the sun doesn't seem so dull and the birds were still singing their lost little melodies.
The body has a weird way of protecting you from pain, when it has too much to bear it shuts down; goes on its own inside your head, waiting for a better time, leaving you numb and half-alive.
I'm actually not entirely sure if I have depression but it may be the easiest way to describe this feeling — or lack thereof.
I mean I'm not sad but I'm not happy either.
I can laugh and force a smile onto my face during the day, but at night when I'm alone and my sister rests peacefully beside me I can't help but feel nothing — simply numb and empty.
That feeling.
The one where you just feel really really empty, I don't know how else to describe that.
I never even thought about healing, I simply stopped feeling.
Most of it turned to ice minus that little flutter I feel in my stomach when Romeo smiles at me with his perfect teeth.
Dammit.
I'm the type of person that will try to make everyone else smile, it doesn't matter if I'm bleeding out on the side of the road — my last words will likely be something to make you feel better.
I think the saddest people are often the ones that do everything in their power to make everyone around them happy.
Maybe that's because they know exactly how it feels to feel absolutely worthless, and they don't want anyone else to understand that feeling.
It's so incredibly difficult to describe depression to someone who has never been in that place.
It's not sadness, I know sadness.
Sadness is to cry and to feel, even if you don't like whatever feeling is rushing through your veins.
However, depression is more of a cold absence of feeling, an insanely hollowed out mind-numbing feeling.
A feeling I could only hope nobody closest to me would ever have to feel.
"Hector, where did you put the paperwork Mr. Ferrari wanted filed from last week?"
