(Silently Drowning Series - Book Two)
Maybe that's it. We eventually go numb; because you can't break a heart that's already broken.
Maxwell Augustus; A boy who has seen nothing but hatred, yet somehow he's filled with so much love. Covered in scar...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Maxwell Augustus
"Give me my fucking doughnuts!" Manny shouts as he chases me around the family room.
"Let me think about it for just a moment.... Yeah... No."
Running is definitely a no go but nobody ever said anything about speed walking around a couch and using it as my shield before proceeding to roll over it as he runs to the other side.
"I'm going to tell Francesco." He continues to whine.
"Jokes on you. He doesn't scare me." Mr. Ferrari scares me more than sir Ferrari but maybe that's just because he's Romeo's dad and I really don't want him to hate me like his eldest brother hates me.
"Give. Me. My. Doughnuts" He states in his 'I want to be scary' voice but again, the joke is really on him — my house often has men five times more intimidating than he could even dream of.
"Make me." I reply with a light smirk.
That would move to me a mistake as Manny jumped on my back causing us both to stumble over and fall onto the couch, breaking out in a fit of laughter for what feels like an eternity.
"Romeo, are you okay?" I suddenly ask as the laughter dies down and I glance over at the man standing in the entryway, his face contorted in annoyance as he watches Manny and I goof around.
"Of course I am." He replies coldly as he turns around and walks away... again.
"Rome.." I nearly whisper as Manny gives me a knowing smirk.
"Just let him be, he'll be fine." He says.
"But-"
"He'll be fine, don't stress it alright?'
"Okay fine, whatever." I mumble while not taking my eyes off the spot Romeo had stormed off from.
"Let's take your mind off it... Matteo said you were smart so can you please help me with my homework before I feed it to some random dog in the park."
"What do you need help with?"
"A little bit of everything but government, calculus, and AP physics mostly."
"Get your books and meet me in the dining room, I'll see what I can do."
"You're a lifesaver."
**
"Before you date me...
You need to understand that I'm damaged.
I get triggered easily. I have struggled with things. There are nights when I'm curled up on a ball on the floor and I won't talk to anyone. I'll shut you out.
I'm not going to be able to trust you for a while, because everyone has always left, cheated, or chosen someone else.
I will need reassurance. I will need you. I will need you to keep choosing me. I'll need you to care when I text you saying I'm getting bad again.
I'm a lot, I know this. So before you think I'm always happy, that I'll always be positive, that I'll always be smiling — know the reality before you get involved. Don't enter my life if you can't handle it.
Lastly, don't you dare touch my heart if you aren't ready for that" ~ Unknown
I think the biggest flaw in knowing me is that I need a lot of reassurance, because my anxiety and past experiences have convinced me that you don't actually want me and you'll end up leaving me like everyone else.
I actually really fucking hate that little fact about myself.
Everything could be going so damn well — nearly perfectly even — and there is always going to be that little voice at the back of my head screaming, 'it's all a lie'.
"Why are you poking me?" Romeo asks while looking up from his endless pile of paperwork.
"Are you mad at me?"
"No... Why would you think of that?"
"You walked away from me.... Again... I just... I thought..."
He grabbed my chin and looked at my eyes — he does that a lot, although I'm not really complaining.
"I said I wasn't going anywhere did I not?"
"You did." My voice comes out unsteady as I breathe out the words.
"Exactly. I meant it."
I just nodded my head slightly as he released my chin.
"God you're so cute." He whispers except I don't think I was meant to hear that part, "you're not in any pain right?" Romeo asks as he gestures to where the stitches rest on my chest.
"Not really, the painkillers work wonders as long as I don't run into a wall or something again."
"I'm glad." He mumbles as he ruffles my hair.
I let out a small chuckle as I smack his arm away, he freezes for a moment as he looks at my arm before speaking again.
"Max... What is this?" He asks while holding my wrist, the perfectly straight lines coating my pale skin. My sleeve raised while I was attempting to swat his hand away from my messy curls and I was not so secretly hoping I readjusted it before he noticed.
Wishful thinking I suppose.
"It was the cat."
"You don't even have a cat."
"I know, I was pet sitting the neighbor's cat."
"You're basically deathly allergic to cats anyway... Plus you live at the end of a dead end street and the only house next to you has been empty for the last six years.... "
"Fell out of a tree?"
"Max..." He sighs.
I was expecting him to yell at me, call me an stupid or reckless... The stuff that usually occurs when I put my own health at risk constantly.
What I was not expecting was for him to lightly let go of my wrist, then wrap his arms tightly around me — pulling me into his chest.
"I know Max, I'm not that stupid, but we don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." Romeo whispers into my ear.
I just let out a sigh of relief when I realized there was no yelling, or talking... Or much of anything...
I could stay in my best friend's arms forever.
This is really going to hurt when he finally realizes that I'm not worth his time.
Have you ever met someone and from so attached to them that you can't help but think 'it's going to hurt real fucking bad when they inevitably leave'.
Yeah, that just about describes the thoughts running through my head on a semi-regular basis.
I didn't realize I was crying until I felt his thumb wipe the lone tear from my reddened cheek, and he tightened his grip but not enough to hurt me.
For the first time in a very long time, I felt safe.
