(Silently Drowning Series - Book Two)
Maybe that's it. We eventually go numb; because you can't break a heart that's already broken.
Maxwell Augustus; A boy who has seen nothing but hatred, yet somehow he's filled with so much love. Covered in scar...
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Maxwell Augustus
"Augusts?!" I hear Mr. Ferrari shout from the doorway, I actually have no clue why he refers to me as my last name, he always has. It's not even a mafia thing, he refers to most people by their job unless there's multiple people with the same occupation and then he calls them out by their full name.
"Over here" I shout back from the small secret door from behind the filing cabinet, which is where I store the files that could end in mass distraction if it gets into the wrong hands, and no... For once, I am not being over dramatic.
"Can you go over the security from last night's shipment at the east dock? Unfortunately there's a new gang forming here in town, and apparently they are idiotic enough to try to steal from us to supply up or whatever." He asks, although it's not a question, Mr. Ferrari only makes demands, but I think he tries to speak a little softer when talking to me, maybe it's because I'm his son's best friend.
"Of course, give me just one second..." I trail off as I rush back over to my computer. Today it's just me, Matteo is out working at his own music shop, and Hector is on a vacation with his wife. I'm sure Matteo would rush over if I needed help with anything but I seem to have it covered. I'm used to overworking myself as a distraction from everyday life anyway. "Okay, I got it."
"I think one of the guys removed their mask for a brief second at some point I just don't know when."
"Well that's easy to find out... There." I reply while stopping on the exact frame in which one of the men removed his ski mask and turned around, shouting at one of the people behind him.
I felt my face pale as I viewed who it was...
Shane.
"Do you know who that is?"
"Um... No... But I will let you know the second I figure it out." I lied, and I don't even know why, he doesn't deserve my sympathy. Right?
If I knew then, what I know now... I wouldn't have even thought about protecting him.
"You're the best, if anyone can do it... It's you, just let me know when you figure it out."
"Yes... Of course."
**
You know...
I really can't imagine a life without Romeo Ferrari.
When this little friendship started, I thought the only thing that I could ever feel for him was lust, physical attraction, whatever.
I never expected to like him so damn much that it would physically hurt.
Now I'm almost convinced that he may never leave, thank God, but if he were, I have no clue what would happen.
I remember all these little plans we made when we were younger, almost like a mini bucket list that we never got around to starting. I suppose life keeps getting away from us.
Or maybe it was because the list was originally made when my health kept declining and neither of us saw it going up anymore. Maybe it's a death list, maybe I'm still dying even if nobody realizes it.
We should have done the list.
I could only hope that this whole thing works out, because if it doesn't, I have to fucking clue where to go from there.
Romeo has become such a huge part of my life and it sort of feels lie this was meant to happen.
I just really don't want him to be yet another life lesson that I never listen to. He has honestly taught me so much in the last ten years — even if he doesn't know it.
He has taught me so much more than I ever knew anyone could ever teach me.
I just know I really don't want to fucking lose him, and I'm terrified that one day I'll say the wrong thing or I'l do the wrong thing and he would just leave, without a second thought, without even looking back.
But perhaps we looked at each other a little too long to simply be 'just friends'.
"Spill. What's going on with you lately?" Megan says as she throws herself onto her matte black couch.
"Nothing much." I shrug.
"Bullshit, how about Romeo? Is he your boyfriend now? Have you kissed yet? What about sex? Please tell me he's good in bed.."
"What? You know what... I don't want to know ... I don't know what's going on, we haven't really talked about it... Things are good right now, now ruin a good thing with unnecessary labels."
"But you want those 'unnecessary labels'."
"Stop reading my mind Megan, it's really fucking creepy."
"And you're in love with him."
"Love is a strong word. I don't even know what love feels like."
"Whatever, I'm not going to push a topic that you keep denying. You should talk to him, he can't know what you want if you don't."
