(Silently Drowning Series - Book Two)
Maybe that's it. We eventually go numb; because you can't break a heart that's already broken.
Maxwell Augustus; A boy who has seen nothing but hatred, yet somehow he's filled with so much love. Covered in scar...
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Maxwell Augustus
I don't know when things changed.
I don't know when I started looking at Romeo fucking Ferrari as more than just my best friend that desperately needed to loosen up a bit.
I don't know when I started craving his presence.
I don't know when I started craving his touch.
Perhaps it's always been there.
Some thought that you push to the back of your mind, thinking it would ruin everything.
The idea of Romeo Ferrari dating somebody else would keep me up some nights. I don't think I would've been able to survive watching him happy with somebody that wasn't me.
Luckily he never even expressed an interest for dating so it was one of those thoughts that would ruin your mood in an instant but it was never a reality.
Falling for your best friend is the hardest thing you will ever do.
Just don't fuck up.
If you do then you lose both your best friend and love of your life, who else would you rant about real world issues with?
Your heart accidentally trips into never ending ecstasy when you fall in love.
Love
Is that what this is?
The tingling feeling on my fingertips as they brush over his knuckles, the red tint on my cheeks when he compliments.
The way I involuntarily laugh at his random jokes — the same ones I couldn't understand even if I tried, and trust me... I did at one point.
The way I forget how to breathe when his eyes meet mine.
The way the butterflies that inhabit my stomach seem to throw a rave whenever Romeo Ferrari smiles at me.
The way I want to be at his side, no matter what.
The way I don't care how bad it gets, as long as I'm with him.
The way I can see myself spending the rest of my life with him.
The way I'm terrified to tell him the truth behind my life, because I'm not ready for the way he looks at me to change.
Maybe I should have told him earlier. It would have prevented so much.
I often try to get people to describe the feeling of love to me as someone who has never experienced it, but I've come to realize that asking somebody to describe the feeling of love is like asking them to describe the taste of water.
I heard that forever is a long time but I could spend my forever with him.
"This is my new favorite spot." I suddenly break the silence while resting my head on my boyfriend's shoulder and overlooking the waterfall.
"Any place that you're in is my favorite."
"You're cute."
"No, you're cute. I'm sexy."
"Is this how it's gonna be now?"
"Indeed darling." He replies with a smirk.
"You're cute."
"I am not- okay, whatever."
"Thank you for being so good to me, I feel like I don't deserve you." I mumble.
"Why do you think that?" Romeo asks as he turns his full attention away from the perfect waterfall, to me.
"I don't know." I lied. That's why I don't deserve him.
I don't even think I know what the truth is anymore, lying has become my third language.
"Well stop it, I don't want any negative thoughts in your cute head of yours." He replies while wrapping his arms tightly around me.
"What are you doing?"
"Holding my boyfriend."
"I really like the sound of that."
"Me too, Max, me too."
**
"I think... No matter what happens, this right here is my favorite thing." I whisper before softly allowing my lips to meet his. This kiss, while still being as soft and gentle as the ones prior, feels ever so slightly more desperate. I just want to soak up every ounce of it. "I should get inside." I mumble against his perfect lips.
"Don't." Romeo suddenly says.
"What?"
"Don't go. I have a really bad fucking feeling, and my father always taught me to trust my gut. Come back to my place with me." He practically begs.
"Rome, I have to go. I'm going to pick up Lisa here in a bit anyway, I just have to go in, straighten a few things up, grab my car keys, and then I'm out. Everything is fine." I attempt to reassure.
He seems to be quite literally lost in my eyes for a solid thirty seconds before resting his lips upon mine. This kiss felt different.
It was still the gentleness I'm used to with Romeo Ferrari but a new emotion laced the air, one that I'm not familiar with, almost like he's trying to tell me something without using his words, I just don't know what that something is.
Finally realizing he wasn't going to stop me from going in he spoke again, "fine. I can't force you to do anything, just promise to call me if you need me, I'll be over in a heartbeat."
"Of course." I reply, careful with my wording, I don't make promises. Promises lead to unnecessary heartbreak. "Tu es mon pour toujours, quoi qu'ii arrive. Que je peux promettre." I add slowly and breathlessly. [You are my forever, no matter what. That I can promise.]
"What does that mean?"
"Maybe you'll find out one day." I whisper while softly pressing my lips to his one last time, trying to savor him for just a moment longer, "I'll see you around, Romeo Ferrari."
"I'll see you around, Maxwell Augustus."
"Romie... You have to let go of my arm."
"Right... Goodbye Augustus."
I lowly chuckle, "Goodbye Ferrari... to be continued?"
"To be continued." He mumbled as he finally let go, watching me walk off.
I didn't have it in me to turn around, if I turned around I wouldn't have it in me to enter the house.
I should have turned around.
"Quite the show you put on out there." My supposed uncle says as I shut the front door, his tone is dark, and my blood instantly ran cold.
