"why can't you see me? why can't i stop needing you to see me?"- Chen Chen
Stella has never been seen that is until Mason walked into her life.
Tw: self harm, suicide attempt
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Chapter 10
"But the past couple of days I've missed you so much it felt like missing you is all I am." - Elizabeth Scott
I waited anxiously the whole school day to end only to finally see Lana!
"What are you so excited for?" Mason asks from behind me, i turn to him with a big smile on my face, his eyes softened "my cousin Lana is coming today! She's staying with me for a while" i tell him, he smiles at me "that is so exciting, can't wait to meet her" he says
Ryan parker a football player comes up to Mason and i, they do they're bro shake "what's up Mason" he says, "hey Stella" and turns to me "hi" i say back in return "what's up bro" Mason brings Ryan's attention back to him "are you gonna join us this year in football or nah?" Ryan asks Mason
"Nah bro not anymore, I'm done with football" Mason says, i wonder why he's done with it. He used to be so good at it but then sophomore year he quit, "the team misses you man" Ryan says shaking his head in disappointment "yeah well I have more important matters to tend to" Mason response, i wonder what those are.
After the conversation ended and Ryan left, me and Mason walked to the parking lot "so what are the important matters that you have to tend to?" I ask him curious, "just family stuff" he says a little closed off "okay" i say, once we get to my car he opens the door for me and i get in "drive save" he says closing my door, i roll the window down after starting the car "you too mase" i say and smile at him, he smiles back and walks off.
I drive off with a big smile on my face.
Once I get into my driveway, I see my mothers car is gone, I do little happy dance in my head and get out.
I walk through the door, "lana!" I call out but there's no answer "lana!" I try again, there's nothing. I go into my room and find her in my room sitting on my bed with a smile on her face "boo!" She shouts, i scream "ahhhh! You're finally here!" I say, she gets up and comes to me giving me a hug, i hug her back tightly "I've missed you so much!" She says, "I've missed you more" i say back.
"We have a lot to catch up on!" She says we pull apart and sit back down on my bed "you go first!" She says excitedly, I begin "so you already know about the accident" i start, she nods sadly "I'm so sorry I wasn't able to make it" she says upset, "no it's okay!" I replied, "anyways afterwards in my sophomore year I met this guy..." I start and she nods her head letting me know to continue "he helped me a lot after the accident, i fell in love with him" i said with a sad smile, "but it just wasn't the right time for us, oh who am I kidding. He wanted me, I wanted him, he tired of me. The end" she looks at me sadly "I'm so sorry stell, you are an amazing girl! He didn't deserve you!" She says i nod agreeing with her "true, he moved away he ended things and i haven't seen him since" it's for the better.
"I'll be fine plus I met someone, I've actually liked him since freshman year but we're just friends for now" i say with a happy smile this time, she gets excited "i can't wait to meet him!" She says, "so what's been going on in your life?" I ask her, she looks sad "my mom and dad are getting a divorce" she says sadly, i gasp, "oh lana I'm so sorry!" I say giving her a hug.
She hugs me back, "it's okay there's nothing really we can do, that's why I wanted to stay with you for a little bit, I'm not sure when I wanna go back" we pull part "stay all the time you need!" I tell her.
"So how are evelyn and violet?" She asks excitedly, "they're fine! They're coming over in a little bit" i tell her "yay, we're finally gonna be together again"
A few hours later, it's six o clock and the girls are officially here.
"How has life been without us lana?" Evelyn asks, sitting on my bed Violet next to her while me and lana are on my mini couch "It's been... something" she says laughing "I've missed you guys though!" She says, "we've missed you too!"
We spend the rest of the day talking, at 10 the girls leave and we get ready for bed.
"I've missed you so much lana" i say laying on my side, facing her "me too stells, I hope she changes while I'm here" she says quietly.
I hope so too, but some part of me knows that she'll never change and I don't think I'll ever change either.
Death does that, grief is does that.
It changes people and it's not always a good thing.
My mom is proof of that, as sad as that is. I know lana being here isn't going to change anything, if anything she'll try everything to get me to be alone.
She doesn't just physically hurt me, she emotionally does too. She leaves, she always leaves.
