"why can't you see me? why can't i stop needing you to see me?"- Chen Chen
Stella has never been seen that is until Mason walked into her life.
Tw: self harm, suicide attempt
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Chapter 12: "I hope loving me isn't the hardest thing anyone has to do"
We chatted during lunch, the boys seemed to like Lana, more specifically Ryan seemed to like Lana a little bit too much.
We're on our last period of the day, sadly Lana isn't in this class but Ryan is. We sit next to each other actually, I turn around to him "So what did you think about Lana?" I ask him, he blushes at the mention of Lana.
"Why? Did she ask about me?" He questions, getting kinda excited "No sorry," I say "but I saw the way you looked at her" I continue he looks away, I poke his side and he squirms "Come on! What do you think of her?" I say again, he sighs giving in.
"Fine, I think she's pretty and maybe want to ask her out," he says blushing once again "Aww," I say while pinching his cheeks, he pushes my hand away "Stop! You can't tell her I said that though," he says, I laugh quietly but nod.
"Also Ryan I'm just telling this only because I don't want you or Lana to get hurt, but if you are serious about her or anything like that please give her time. She just got out of a relationship, and she's still heartbroken over it and she has personal issues she needs to work on" I say, all he does is nod once I'm done "Yeah sure, I'll give her time" I smile, "thank you, Ryan, I just don't want you to get hurt by her just because she's still hung up by her ex"
"Yeah no I agree, thank you, Stella. I'll get to know her and wait for her" he says going back to his work.
The rest of the class goes by and school is finally over.
I walk to my locker and see Mason and Lana there talking, I smile at seeing them get along.
"Hey, guys!" I say as I approach them, and they turn to me "Hey sweetheart" Mason says with a goofy smile, "hey Stells" Lana says greeting me "So..." Mason starts I turn to him and look at him waiting for him to continue.
I look into his eyes and everything else disappears, it's just us two. No one else.
I snap out of it when he starts talking "Do you want to hang out later, just us two" he asks sounding nervous, "oh I don't know, I don't want to leave Lana by herself" I say turning to Lana.
"What! No, I'll be fine! You guys hang out, I'll just hang out with Ryan or the girls. I'll be fine" Lana says reassuring me, I smile turning to Mason "Okay! Yes, I'll hang out with you," I say smiling bigger if that's even possible.
After we're done planning, Lana and I head out, once we're in the car Lana screams, scaring me. I shut my ears with my hands "What!" I say, "HE ASKED YOU OUT!!!" She says I look at her as if she grew two heads "What are you talking about" I say, turning the car on "He didn't ask me out" I say sadly.
"He wants to hang out with you alone," she says slowly, "sounds like a date to me," she says turning in her seat.
Could it possibly be a date? No, who am I kidding? He would've said the words date, not hang out.
"So Lana, what do you think about Ryan?" I ask, looking at her from the side, she looks at me with a weird face "Why?" She asks suspiciously, "just wondering," I say shrugging my shoulders, "just answer my question" she sighs and looks out the window "i don't know honestly, it's too early to known. I don't think I'm ever going to date again..." she says pausing, she turns to me tears in her eyes. I pull over on the side of the road and put my emergency lights on.
"You can talk to me about him, if you want" i say encouraging her, she nods her head and starts "after he left, things felt different. When he left, he left me empty." She says, her tears rolling down her cheeks.
"He just meant a lot to me, he was the first guy who made me feel good about being me" she says wiping her face, "and he just left as if I never meant a thing to him... as if I never mattered to him, the worst part is that he has a girlfriend now and I'm here left on my own to pick up the pieces he left behind"
"I don't think I'll ever be able to move on from him, to actually be with anyone else again" she says, i give her a hug and she starts to sob "it's okay, I know it hurts. We're both on the same boat" i say, coleson also left me but I'm not sure if he has a new girlfriend, he was my first love and always will be but I know I'm better off.
"It must run in the family" she says cracking a joke, we pull apart "I know it hurts and it's going to hurt for a while because you really loved the guy but once you give yourself time to grieve him you'll understand how better off you are without him."
She nods her head "you're right, I'm just staying away from boys right now" she says.
I start the car and drive off. Once we get home, we go up to my room "so where are you guys going?" Lana asks, i smile "we're going to our spot" i say, Lana's eyebrows shoot up "Aww, wait you guys have your own spot already?" She asks, i nod.
"He took me there the first time we first talked" i say smiling at the memories.
"What are you going to wear?" Lana asks, going into my closet "I'll pick out your outfit while you do your make up" she say's excited.
"Okay sounds good!" I say getting started on my make up.
I do something cute and simple, something that screams Stella you know.
"I found your outfit!" She says pulling out a black leather jacket, a whit crop top, and Jeans, "it's so perfect! You guys can match with the leather jacket!" She says.
I nod "thank you Lana, i love it" i grab my clothes and go into the bathroom.
I get out after I get changed, I find lana on the bed on her phone "so how do I look?" I ask her, she looks up and lets out a gasp "omg you look so perfect" she says. I spin around for her, she claps "he's so going to fall in love with you" she says, "if he hasn't already" she says quietly.
We sit around for a little, i got ready a little too early.
At 6:00pm on the dot, there's a knock on the door, Lana gets up and gets the door while I touch up my make up in the mirror next to the couch. I hear them talking from here.
"Hey Mason" Lana says, "Hi Lana is Stella ready?" He asks, "Yeah she's just touching up her makeup" it falls silent.
I don't take long and grab my purse putting my phone, gum, and lipgloss in and head towards the door.
"Hey Mason" i greet him with a smile, he looks up with a surprised face "uh-i- i" he starts, Lana gives me a look, Mason clears his throat "Hi sweetheart, looking stunning like always" he says making me blush.
We head out after saying goodbye to Lana.
We start heading towards our spot. "Can I put some music on?" I ask him, he nods and I squeal in excitement, he laughs quietly smiling to himself.
I put Taylor swift on shuffle and the song 'I know places' starts
"Have you listened to any Taylor swift songs?" I ask Mason turning in my seat to look at him, he looks perfect with his brown hair and his tan skin glowing as the sun hits his perfectly sculpted face.
"No, but I will if you want me too" he says, hearing him say that makes me happy.
Suddenly I get an idea, "omg can we listen to her when we get to our spot?" I ask him, laughs at my excitement but nods "anything for my sweetheart" he says making me blush at his 'My sweetheart' statement but i ignore it.
I turn to face the front, "Just grab my hand and don't ever drop it, My love" I sing along.
