"why can't you see me? why can't i stop needing you to see me?"- Chen Chen
Stella has never been seen that is until Mason walked into her life.
Tw: self harm, suicide attempt
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Chapter 15
"And I'd choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I'd find you and I'd choose you."
Mason.
Just let alone his name can make me feel like floating, something lights up in me whenever he's around. He makes me feel a way no one has ever.
Our first date is on Saturday.
I'm so excited and nervous, I'm finally going to be with Mason. Lana doesn't know yet about the date.
The girls are coming over later for a sleep over and that's when I'm going to tell them about it.
I wonder what they're going to say or think.
My phone dings, telling me I got a message, i look at it to see Evelyn saying she's on her way over with Violet.
"Lana the girls are on the way!" I call out to her, "okay! Order the pizza I'm almost out" she says from the bathroom.
I order the pizza and look for some movies to watch while lana finishes her shower, the door opens and Evelyn and Violet walk in "thanks for knocking" i say, Evelyn just shrugs her shoulders "you love me plus we practically live here" she says.
She's right "I have to tell you guys something" i say while we start heading into my room, "but we have to wait for lana" i say and walk to the bathroom door and knock "the girls are here!" I let her know, I hear her say okay and go back to the bed.
A few minutes later lana comes out with a towel wrapped around her head and fog coming out of the bathroom, she loves hot showers.
She's dressed in a light gray hoodie with matching gray sweatpants, she sits on the bed.
"Hey girls!" She greets Evelyn and Violet, "hey lana!" They greet her back "okay so what's the news!?" Violet asks impatiently.
I grab my chair and sit in front of them "... Mason asked me out!" I say clapping my hands excitedly, Lana wears a proud look on her face along with Evelyn and violets jaw is on the ground.
"That's so exciting!" Lana says first, "when is it?" Evelyn asks and Violet just stays quiet which is normal for her, out of everyone she's the most quiet one.
"Thank you! It is exciting and next Saturday!" I answered their questions, "we're so coming over to do your makeup and hair and pick an outfit out!" Evelyn say's excited.
I agree only because I know she doesn't take an no for an answer, "my little girl is growing up so fast" Evelyn says making everyone laugh.
For some reason Violets energy seems off, she seems less here in a way. I hope she's okay, I'm going to talk to her later.
"This isn't my first date though" i say after I'm done laughing, "I know but you love him" she says, i look at her shocked as Lana and violet nod their heads agreeing "what! I don't love him!" I say, looking away.
"Yes you do! And that's okay because I'm pretty sure he loves you too" Evelyn says reminding me of what he said.
"Well maybe... when he asked me out he said he's liked me since freshman year..." i say, Lana looks shocked and Evelyn smirks "I knew it! Mason loves Stella" she says, "I agree with Evelyn" Violet says and even Lana agrees.
"I don't think he loves me, I don't even think I love him" i say, i don't even think I know what love is. I mean I thought I did but now I'm not so sure.
"All I know is I don't want to lose him, ever. It's like losing a part of myself already" i say, the girls look at me sadly especially Lana knowing exactly what I mean "you won't lose him! And he won't leave, he's not like him" Violet says reassuring me, "exactly! And if he does we'll gang up on him and beat him" Lana says, Evelyn nodding along.
I look at them with a smile on my face, feeling grateful for them "thank you guys! I love you" i say, we get up and do a group hug "we love you too".
After the hug we go out to the living room with blankets and pillows and pick out a movie to watch.
We decided to watch a scary movie since it was getting dark, violet isn't really a fan but she decided she wanted to face her fears and watch one. We have pizzas in our hands and sodas in the other.
We picked the conjuring, it's not scary at all anymore. I've seen it like at least ten times although the part that always gets me is when the little girl is playing the clapping game and then all of a sudden you hear someone else clap that wasn't the mom or the little girl.
We're all huddled up on the couch half way through the movie, now this will sound cliche but we heard a knock on the door.
Violet jumps in her spot and screams a little, "it's okay letty, it's just someone at the door" i say as I put my plate and drink on the table, and get up.
I open the door to see the boys standing there, "what are you guys doing here?" I ask, as I let them in "we just wanted to see what you girls were up too" Mason says with a smile on his precious face, i smile at him "come on we're watching the conjuring" i say grabbing his hand and pull him to the living room as the boys follow.
Blake, and Noah sit in the other two person couch and Ryan goes to next to Lana, something is definitely going on between them. Mason and I sit in the other couch squeezed in since it was only meant for one person but we made it work.
I grab my blanket and cover us with it, Mason snuggles closer and I feel his warmth. My hand still in his, I turn to the movie trying to focus on that when I feel his thumb rubbing circles on my hand.
The butterflies in my stomach start to come alive and they're fluttering.
I feel happier than I've ever been. I deserve this. But I'm scared that maybe it'll go crashing down on me and i won't be able to do anything about it.
