See Me✔️

Gut-feeling (17)

Chapter 17

"Show me your thorns and I'll show you hands ready to bleed"

I wake up feeling not so well, my anxiety is high, higher than the sky. My stomach hurts and I feel this pressure in my chest.

I feel like something is going to happen, something not good well I don't know about that but i can feel it.

I get up and go get ready, when I look into the mirror I physically jump completely forgetting about my hair.

I brush my teeth and and braid my hair, i do simple makeup and dress up.

I get out of the bathroom to see Lana still in bed.

"Lana! Get up!" She groans "i don't want too" she says into her pillow.

"You have 10 minutes!" I say going into the kitchen and making some toast for us and banana-strawberry smoothies.

I feel anxious, i don't know why I just feel icky, it's probably nothing honestly.

Lana walks into the kitchen dressed and ready to go. I hand her, her toast and smoothie. She thanks me and we walk out, heading to the car.

She drives us as Taylor swift plays in the background, we're both quiet as we eat our breakfast "are you excited to show Mason your hair?" Lana asks, I swallow and answer "yes! I'm nervous to see his reaction though" i tell her, "he'll love it! I know it" she says reassuring me, I need lots of reassurance it seems like.

We get to school and she parks in a parking lot. We get out and walk into the school "hey" Mason greets us as we walk up to him in Ryan "hii" i say a smile showing up on our faces, "hey" Lana greets back and goes to Ryan, they start talking "I'll see you in class stells, bye Mason" Lana says, i say bye to her as they walk away and leave us alone.

"Look at my hair!" I say turning around in a circle, showing my hair "it's so pretty! The pink suits you so well sweetheart!" He says making my heart want to jump out of my chest.

We walk hand in hand to my first class of the day, we get a few looks here and there.

The golden boy and the sweetheart of the school together? Who would've thought.

We stop outside my classroom and wait a little until the bell rings just talking "I'm so excited for our date, can I know what you have planned?" I ask him, hopeful that he'll tell me, he shakes his head no "I'm sorry sweetheart but it's a surprise" he says.

"Can you give me a hint?" I ask him, he yet again shakes his head "No! You'll guess it fast" he says and i laugh making him smile.

"I love seeing your smile" i say dreamily, "and I love hearing your laugh, especially if it's because of me" he says back in the same tone.

"I love everything about you" i say to him, wrapping my arms around his neck, "well I love everything about you too" he says wrapping his arms around my waist.

The bell rings, i sigh "i don't want to go to english" i say, "you'll be fine, I'll see you at lunch okay?" He says and kisses my cheek.

He walks away and i go inside, i sit in my seat and wait for Lana.

Lana comes in along with the teacher and class gets started.

Class goes by quickly, but other classes go by slowly which sucks when that happens. But I'm so extremely happy for lunch, during classes I would almost be falling asleep but I'm finally awake.

I get out of class and find Mason standing waiting for me, thank god.

Lana walks ahead saying she'll give us our alone time, i walk to Mason and hug him from behind "guess who" i say, "hm Blake?" He guesses trying to be funny and guessing "omg you guessed it right!" I say playing along, i pull apart and go to his side, he automatically grabs my hand.

My smile drops when I see who's standing in front of me

Alec. He's looking at me with a smirk, he walks up to us "he's coming back Stells and he won't be happy seeing you with him" Alec says eyeing Mason and walks away.

He's coming back, it repeats in my head as I feel the floor opening up, my chest is tight and suddenly I can't breathe anymore.

"Stella? Are you okay?" I can faintly hear Mason talking, I'm trying to focus on breathing but I can't.

He's coming back, coleson is coming back he can't come back.

All of a sudden I hear Evelyn and Violet next to me trying to calm me down.

I feel my tears slip down my face and my throat hurts as I try to keep a sob down.

I take a deep breath slowly after awhile and look up to see mason, Evelyn, Violet and Lana looking at me worriedly.

"What happened?" Violet asks, i look at Evelyn and Violet.

"He's coming back" i say tears in my eyes begging to be let out, Evelyn and Violet are shocked while Mason and Lana are confused "how do you know?" Evelyn asks "Alec came up to us and told me he's coming back and he won't be happy that I'm with Mason" i say starting to tear up again, Mason notices and hugs me.

"We should get you home, you don't look so well" Lana says, Mason agrees "I'll take her home" he says and we agree.

I give the girls a hug "I think you should tell him today" Evelyn whispers as I hug her and nod.

I agree especially if Coleson can hurt him, he has the right to know. We leave afterwards, Mason holding onto my hand and rubbing circles with his thumb.

The car ride to my house is quiet, no one saying a word. When we get to my house he parks in the driveway "I think you should come in, there's a lot I need to tell you" he nods and we get out of the car and head inside.

He sits on the couch and I sit next to him "if after this you don't want to be with me anymore I understand" i start with, he grabs my hand "nothing you say or do will keep me away from you" i give him a sad smile, knowing that's not true.

I take a deep breath "no one but Evelyn and Violet know, not even Lana" i tell him, he sits there quietly.

I take a deep breath before starting again "in freshman year... my dad and brother passed away in a car accident" i say those words out loud for the first time since it happened "they were on the way to pick me up from Evelyn's house when a drunk driver came and crashed into them after he fell asleep behind the wheel" tears start to flow down my face and Mason squeezes my hand in a supportive way.

"My mom blamed me for the accident, and therefore she had so much anger towards me that she started to physically and emotionally abuse me and I don't blame her because it was my fault. I'm the one who wanted them to pick me up, I could've just walked home but I didn't"

"A few months after the accident, I met this boy. He in a way saved me and made me feel loved for once since my dad and brother passed"

I can't believe I'm telling him about my worst nightmare.