"why can't you see me? why can't i stop needing you to see me?"- Chen Chen
Stella has never been seen that is until Mason walked into her life.
Tw: self harm, suicide attempt
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"Mother Mother Eat me and give birth to me again. This time around I'll make you proud"
We fell asleep crying and slept through the whole day and night, i did at least but eventually mom had to get up to go to a meeting.
"I don't want to go to school today" i tell my mom once she came in to wake me up.
"Okay hun, do you want breakfast?" She asks.
I shake my head no, "I'm not hungry" she sighs and leaves.
Closing the door on her way out, i turn to my side looking out my window.
I want to rot in my bed and never come out of this room.
I get up to at least change my outfit and into a new clean one.
I take off my hoodie and stare at myself in the mirror.
My stomach is so flat and you can see my ribs.
I didn't notice I spaced out until I hear my mom gasp.
"Stella..." she says a look of pure horror on her face "what have you been doing to yourself?"
I grab another hoodie, with no expression on my face as if this isn't something new to her.
"Nothing mom, I just haven't been hungry and so i lost a few pounds. No big deal" i say feeling a little self conscious.
"No big deal?? Sweetie you can see your bones, i don't know how I haven't noticed how much skinner you've gotten" she says coming into my room more.
I shrugged my shoulders "it's okay, it's not like I wanted you to notice" i say truthfully.
"I think you should say a therapist" she says, a part of me is scared.
A part of me feels relieved, another part feels like I'm finally gonna get some help.
But I also can't help but feel like maybe it won't work.
"... okay mom, whatever you want" i say no expression on my face.
I feel myself slowly giving up, "I'll set up an appointment with your old therapist" she says and walks out of the room.
I roll up my hoodie sleeves, the bandages still around my wrist. It's feels like it's been years since I was in the hospital but it's only been three weeks.
And in those three weeks everything has changed.
I feel... anger? I feel angry, how could this have happened?
Before I started to throw things around my room, there's a knock on my door.
"Go away mom!" I yell out, the knock happens again.
I get up to open it only to find coleson standing there.
Lately it seems like he's the only person who's truly been here for me since the accident.
