"Shine so bright that it burns their eyes."
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Luna Hopper, a 17 year old sophomore at Hawkins High, wants nothing more than to finish high school and move away from the small town she's forced to call home. Her cold demeanor and standoffish nature h...
I take a calming deep breath before knocking on the front door of the Harrington household. His parents car isn't in the driveway thankfully, so I don't have to worry about Cougar Shelly answering the door again.
It doesn't take long before I hear the lock turn and the door opens to reveal Steve clad in blue pajama pants and a gray shirt. His eyes immediately soften with relief when he sees me, and without a word, he steps outside and pulls me into the warmest hug of my life. I didn't realize how different his hugs seemed to feel until just now, because I haven't felt this safe in a while.
"You gotta stop disappearing on me," he says into my hair.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be," he says before stepping back and opening the door wider for me to come inside. When Steve closes the door, he turns toward me with gentle eyes. "Are you okay?" he asks.
"Not really," I answer honestly while trying to hold eye contact.
"Hopper told me you went to see your mom," he says.
"Yeah, that's kind of why I'm here actually," I nod and bite my lip as I take a second to put my thoughts into words. "I don't know why I went, or what I expected to happen, but I'm glad I did. Because it made me realize something... I think I'm scared of change, and that's why I'm such a stuck up bitch all the time, and why I didn't really have any real friends up until last year... and I don't wanna be afraid anymore. So, I wanna be honest with you."
"You can tell me anything."
"And I want to. I want to tell you everything... But I don't know if I can. At least not yet. But there is one thing," I take a deep breath and take a moment to gain the courage to speak. "I haven't been leaving school early because of my stomach... I've been going to the lab, because I've been having these episodes... about the Upside Down. That's why I zone out, and that's why I've been acting different."
Steve slowly nods as he processes my words. "So the other day when you were in the backyard..." he trails off. I nod in confirmation and he sighs lightly in realization. "Is it real?"
"I don't know," I answer honestly. "The doctors tell me it's all in my head, but when I'm in an episode, it feels so real. Everything is cold and dead. And sometimes I see things. A demogorgon or... something else."
"How long have you been having them?"
"Since Christmas Eve."
"Shit, Luna," Steve sighs out and rubs a rand over his face. I feel my face become warm with guilt.
"I didn't tell you because... It's just so hard to admit to myself that I need help. I've been convincing myself that it's going to get better as long as I ignore it because I feel like the second I talk about it, it makes it real... but it is. It is real. And I'm scared," I pause in between my words. "I lost my sister when I was eleven, and my mom took it really bad. That's why we left New York."
I know that Steve already knows all of what I already said, but it doesn't make it any less difficult to put into words. I'm just grateful that Steve is silently listening to every word I say, allowing me to pause when needed and gather my thoughts.
"She has a family now. She has a husband and a son," I continue. "She has all of that because she let herself change. She let herself move on. All this time I thought she's been wallowing in self pity or still mourning Sarah, but in reality, I'm the one that's still doing those things. I need to let myself move on and accept it. I need to let myself feel it. The whole reason I came here is because I needed to accept something about you too."
I look back and forth between his warm eyes that do the same to my vulnerable ones. He makes me feel safe. Every touch, every word, everything about him makes me fold. I just didn't want to give in until now.
My heart takes over as I step forward to place my hands on either side of his neck, just below his jaw, and pull him in, pressing my lips against his. He doesn't immediately respond, so after a second, I pull away to gauge his reaction.
To my relief, the shock on his face fades away into a small smile before he leans forward to kiss me again.
This is exactly what I need, and what I've been waiting to do for months. Steve wraps his arms around me and begins to back us up until we reach the living room. There, he sits back on the couch and I move my legs so that my knees sit on either side of his lap. One of his hands slides from the nape of my neck to the middle of my head, where he grabs at my hair.
The kiss isn't forceful or rough. It's gentle to some degree, but we've both been waiting for this moment for too long for it to not be hungry.
It's delicate, but desperate at the same time.
I move my hands from his jaw to push on his chest until he's laying down. After a few moments, I break away without leaning back.
Then, I do something I never thought I would do.
"I love you," I tell him, my chest heaving as if I'm breathing for the first time. My tone is earnest, yet fearful as I come to terms with my own words. I've felt this way about Steve for months, it just took me up until now to say it.
Steve uses his hands to pick me up by my waist and flip us around so that my back lays on the couch and he leans over me. He uses his hand to brush away the hair that fell onto my face, and he smiles. "I love you."
The corners of my lips lift up until a chuckle of disbelief bubbles from my throat. I use my hands to pull him back down, and bring our lips together once again.
