Wilmon one shots

I am here

Wille pov:

I could not sleep. It just didn't work. I was too afraid of what could happen that I just couldn't close my eyes. For three fucking days at that point. In class I almost fell asleep and still I couldn't close my eyes for one single second.
I knew that it would only be Lucia and it was only one evening that I had to get through. But we all know what happened the year before and the thought that it could happen again, even if it was very unlikely, made me want to throw up. And I did.

The cold bathroom tiles under my feet made me shiver. I clutched the bowl even tighter and concentrated on the cold that flowed through me, than on the feeling of getting my dinner out of me again.
After I was sure it would work, I slowly dragged myself back to my room. There I turned on my faucet and splashed some cold water on my face. I reached for my toothbrush to get rid of the absolutely disgusting taste that had settled in my mouth.

As I fell into my bed, I stared around for a while. My eyes fell on the clock above my window. 1 a.m. I really didn't want to but the rising panic inside me wouldn't leave me alone. I reached for my cell phone and dialed Simon's number.
At the first beep I already felt bad and wanted to hang up again, but the second beep was interrupted by the other line picking up.

"Hello?" A sleepy yet soft voice spoke from the other side of the call and my pulse slowly calmed down again. "Hi." I whispered.
"Wille? It's one in the morning. Please don't tell me you're somewhere I need to pick you up." murmured Simon. My hands slowly stopped shaking, but the bad feeling from thirty seconds ago came back.

"No... It's just... I've..." I stammered and he understood what was going on. "Wilhelm, you can tell me. Just please be honest. Pretending anything to me doesn't make it any easier for either of us." His voice was empathetic and assuring.
"I was...panicking about tomorrow, today. So bad that..." it was hard to say at first, since I had never told anyone about my "problems" directly before. It was not the first time that I had so much fear and panic in me that I threw up. Not even Erik had known about it.

"I threw up. I was just scared and..." Simon didn't let me finish and interrupted me.
"You don't have to justify yourself for feeling bad and throwing up. It's just the way it is. Do you want to talk about it?" he asked and I turned so I lay on my back. "Maybe. I don't know," I mumbled more to myself than to Simme.

"Then like this: Have you talked to Boris about it yet?" I was silent, shaking my head even though Simon didn't see it.
"No. He knows about the pressure I have ... and a little about you," I added.
"Okay." said Simon, "Wille?"
"Mhm?"
"You know you can always call me or talk to me if you want and need to."
"I know. I just don't want to burden you." I muttered quietly into my phone.
"Are you crazy?" he asked with a laughing undertone, "You're not burdening me. You never could."

A few tears gathered in my eyes and I laughed softly. "Thank you." I said, still softly and quiet.
"Always, Wille. Please go to sleep now. I'll... take the early bus later and get to you earlier but please sleep now." he said and his voice was like salve for the nerving excitement inside me.
"I love you." I said and sure enough, my eyes slowly fell shut.
"I love you too. Sleep tight and sweet dreams." He hung up and I smiled before my eyes fell shut.

Simon pov:

I was really worried about Wilhelm when I turned off the alarm exactly four hours after the phone call. He almost never had big anxiety-attacks, but when he did, they were bad. Lucia was in the evening but there was another choir rehearsal because we were supposed to sing the school anthem after the first graders had their performance. That was also at four o'clock and I actually wanted to take the bus at three o'clock, but I had forgotten how much the subject would bother and knock out Wille.