Confession

Chapter 12

My First Crush
ARYAN

Did I do the right thing? I don't even know that the user of this account is a boy or a girl. Our senior or our batchmate. 

Fuck! I hope that he or she don't spread this news. Or else, what will Vinisha think about me. I know she don't like me. That's why I never confessed her about my feelings. 

But now, there's a little bit of satisfaction that I confessed. I'm little bit of relaxed now.

I hope that, Vinisha gets to know about this tomorrow. I know, she's not on Instagram. But her friends are there, they'll tell her about this. At least she'll get to know that there's an admirer of her.

I like her so much. She's my first crush. I want her to know about me but she likes someone else, that motherfucker Rohan. How can she even like him?! I'm much better than him. But she never notices me. 

It was always me who kept on watching her from afar. Until that day, Meera noticed and she told Vinisha that I was watching her.

I always like watching her when she's with her best friend. I mean that's the only time I can see her smiling & laughing & talking. She's only extrovert around Meera. It's not that, I don't like her introvert side. I do. I do like everything about her.

She's different. That day, in the basketball match, all the girls were cheering for me. And she was the only one who was working on papers and was not interested in my match. I was amazed. I was watching her but then she caught me and I turned my face around.

When I got to know that she was participating in Commerce fest. I went to Tr. Sarika, requesting her to keep me in one of the events. I used some of my cheesy pick-up lines to impress her. And she took me for Vlogosphere. If I'd be in school that day, I would've felt deserted by not finding Vinisha in the school.

I want to see her everyday. 

Commerce fest was indeed lucky for me. I won 1st prize and also my first interaction with my first crush.

I never thought she'll be the one approaching me first. Huh, I know she came to scold me. And I really enjoyed that. She looks really cute when she's angry. I wasn't expecting her when she poked me. I was like, Am I dreaming or what? I maintained my rude & arrogant side. I was trying not to act like an idiot in front of her. So I was just being savage that time.

I challenged her, because I knew that she was nervous to go on stage. I was watching her, she was practicing again & again. She was tensed & little bit scared. That's why I dared her to win the competition. She is a daring girl. And she did it, she won. 

All day I was around her, shooting her secretly. I had told Zain, that you do the vlogging for the fest and I'll only shoot Vinisha. I shot her videos when she was onstage. I clicked hundreds of pictures of hers. And then, I went to approach her in our 2nd interaction. But she saw Rohan there. I was jealous by the way she was admiring him. Such a handsome hunk was standing in front of her and she was watching that shitface. I tried my best to distract her. I wanted to talk to her but then she ran away.

I feel really jealous when I see her with other boys. That day, when I saw her sitting & laughing with Kushal. I was like, WTF? She never notices me. Am I that bad?

I stalk her everyday in school. That day, in the library, I was there for her. I don't like being in library but I was there, following her. And when she caught me I pretended to find books in there.

She dropped the books, I helped her. She was finding a book, I helped her. And she smiled that day because of me. As I was the one who got her book. Somehow I was the reason behind her smile. When she asked me, what else do I want. I wanted to answer, "You. I want you." But then I said "Nothing."

Asshole Me.

I joined Accounts tuition for her. Although I don't understand any of the word taught in the tuition. I go there, just for her. Just to see her. And I hate that man who teaches us. He flirts with Vinisha. How can he do that in my presence. She feels very uncomfortable but still he stares at her and keeps on talking to her. On that test day, I was really angry and I almost shouted on him. But then, Zain pinched me and I made an excuse that I got a doubt. I grabbed Sir's elbow and pulled him with me. So that I can save Vinisha from his scare full staring.

Everyday after tuition, I follow Vinisha. Just to make sure that she's safe and has got a rickshaw for herself. I even memorize the number plate of the rickshaw she sits in.

Today, one of my dream came true. Having a Bike ride with Vinisha. I didn't wanted her to go alone at that time. So, I got a chance with her. And we got our first bike ride. She touched me and she was watching me. OMG! I can't believe that, I mean, I saw her, the way she was looking at me.

She is so caring. She came to me, to console me. She cares about everyone. Seriously, these little gestures of her will make me fall in love with her. 

Wait. Love. No. She won't do that with me. I don't deserve her. She's the best. She's the topper of our class. And I'm a loser. She deserves much more of what she expects. She's really special.

But still, I can't let her go. I just need a little bit of Hope. I want her to like me back. I'll change myself. I'll leave all of my bad habits for her. I'll become a good boy for her.

I think I should take further steps towards her. This time, I'm not gonna give up. 

I want to become a silly boy who's crazy for her and only for her. 

● Author's Note ●

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