Y/n: Derek is a literal menace and we should all be scared of him.
Hotch: what did he do.
Y/n: tame ur fucking bf hotch
Spencer: damn I forgot y'all were dating
Derek: lol
JJ: wait seriously y/n bae what did he do?
Penelope: ...
Emily: STOP BEING THOSE PPL WHO LEd HS ON 3 Prt episodes but say nothing
Penelope: he bought a dildo
Hotch: why..
Spencer: is hotch not big enough?
Emily: I'm in shock rn.
Y/n: Spence..😟
JJ: REID WTF? 😭😭
Spencer; Js asking yk.
Rossi: actually we don't know.
Y/n: we gonna have to have a talk..
Spencer: 😒🖕
Hotch: okay but like why did you buy a dildo?
Derek: BecUse :)))
Hotch: because?
Y/n: feel like y'all should talk about this in priv
Spencer: that's where Derek gonna put the dildo though.
Emily; wish I understood math that easy.
JJ: OKAY WHY...
Spencer: just cause.
Y/n: "pump your brakes." K babe?
Peneople: 😭
Derek: I just wanted it
Y/n: he tried to make me pay for the shit.
Penelope: HE DID!! Y/n cussed him out 😭
Emily: as she should.
Hotch: what are you gonna do with it?
Spencer: shove it up his ass
Emily: WHAT?
JJ: okay okay this is to much now Spence.
Y/n: No more okay? No more.
Spencer; okay okay.
Hotch: I really don't get it.
Spencer; OML Aaron you're such a fucking idiot. He's gonna shove it in his fucking ass because you're not big enough for him. 😒
Y/n: you're done. Phone table now.
Penelope: wait why have Reid and Y/n totally changed personalities.
JJ; Fr like they have done a hotch and Derek on us.
Spencer: she's just being boring 😪
Y/n: stfu 🤫
Derek: y'all are a menace to society.
Spencer: says fucking you
Y/n: says fucking you
Emily: they are so in SYNC OMG
Derek: uhm I'm taken...
Y/n: why buy a dildo then. It's not like you and hotch have long distance. You work together AND y'all are the same height.
Penelope: PLS-
YOU ARE READING
BAU TEXT
RandomWith Emily JJ Aaron Spencie Derek Rossi and Y/N She/her/hers pronouns Spencer x Y/n Slight Hotch x Y/n Hotch x Derek Emily x JJ Check out the cast gc!