All For Not

Page 71

"I feel like it's the only time I get to see the real you."

Thoughts muddled together as I moved away from the small building quietly, leaving the two occupants in peace with their deserved privacy instead of continuing to eavesdrop. I felt torn between both of them, between many people it felt like, but with these two it felt different and I don't entirely know why.

Wednesday has always been my sister and now she's far into the distance, Xavier makes my blood heat up and boil because of her and his own actions and words. He irks me, pulling at my being like a nagging snapping of jaws just like my sister. Being honest is difficult and being honest with myself is simply confusing as I split between wanting people to stay around me and wanting to isolate myself from everyone until I can feel what the word alone truly means.

And for each of these reasons I can't decide or figure out my emotions or what to do, especially with those two.

My thoughts were pulled into the recess of my mind, withering back into the fog as something snapped behind me. Blinking away the film that clouded my sight and took me into my mind in the first place, I looked around. I had walked while talking to myself in my mind, managing to leave myself quite a distance between me and the shed. My only indication of location being the moss that grew at the bottom of the trees near me.

Stopping the annoyance almost immediately I gave a sigh, my own feet brought me to the lake absentmindedly, to a place where I wasn't as alone as I had wished to be beforehand.

Another snap had me freezing any more thoughts, eyes shifting to the side as if my eyes would let me see the intruding persons figure behind me somehow.

'Snap'

Something grabbed onto my shoulder lightly and my arm outstretched to the side as I whirled around, pushing the person back as I grabbed onto their front. We fell back, his body forcing my own to follow his as he rolled us over until I was on my back and I was trapped under him, even my hands locked in their places with shock, one trapped underneath his own as heat took over my palm in a sear and the other grasped his neckline, gripping the fabric harshly..

Steam erupted from our hands and my mouth fell open, matching my widened eyes at who was above me once the red in my sight cleared...

"Shit, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you like that. I said your name but you were just looking off into the distance..."

"Kent?" Blinking in my shock I shook my head side to side suddenly in response to his words before swallowing my spit to explain that my actions weren't his fault, "it's fine, I hadn't realized you were out here, I thought I was alone." He gave an awkward nod, his amulet dangling above me by a few inches, "yeah, I went for a swim, usually it helps calm me down."

"Oh, I'm sorry I didn't mean to bother you," his brows knitted together as his eyes cast over my face, looking between my eyes and my lips as he spoke thoughtfully, "you're okay, you never bother me."

"Shit sorry, here" he pulled back letting my hands go before flinging himself up to a standing position so I could also get up, his hands moving to help me as soon as I began to sit up, "thank you," he nodded while letting me take his hand so I could stand as well.

"So, what are you doing out here?" I smiled at the way he lightened his already sweet tone and over pronounced the word 'you' as he asked me the question, "just a walk is all. And you?"

"My apologies I forgot you had already said you were swimming..."

"It's fine, don't worry about it," his eyes glanced behind me taking in the sight of the trees as his smile tightened and slowly fell into a tight line, "did you go to Xavier's art shed?" I blinked, lost at the tone of his voice before giving him a single nod, "I dropped off his homework at Bianca's request before coming this way."

"Why didn't you stay?"

"He's trying to improperly court my sister as of the moment," his brows had furrowed and his mouth opened to speak but I managed to question him before he could me, "speaking of sisters, did Davina manage to find you in time? She seemed quite frantic."

"My sister? What do you mean is she okay?"

"She seemed fine enough, but she wanted to speak with you a while ago, ran off abruptly to go find you after class had finished. Which reminds me, please pay no attention to Enid about her nonsense with Xavier and I, I hadn't intended for her to speak to you about what happened so freely..."

His jaw tensed from the reminder as he looked down at me, my eyes caught the action, just not the reason, "your muscles are tense, you should relax your jaw to prevent any future health issues..." His brows furrowed but he did as I said nonetheless.

"Anyways, Davina told me Enid told you about the thing last night," I trailed off looking to the side in a grimace, "you mean how you kissed Xavier?"

My eyes shot to his quickly, the silvery blue unable to hide the annoyance and the anger festering inside him, "I did no such thing, he instigated the matter at hand. I simply felt too awkward pushing him away... A mistake I would rectify if there was a pit of scorpions not in use..."

"Nonetheless, it doesn't matter," he frowned, his mind stuck on a particular thought and insisting on continuing the conversation, "do you like him?" My brows knitted together in confusion, "who? Xavier?" He gave a nod and I spoke again, "to be perfectly clear, I don't have a proper grasp on those types of feelings as of yet."

"If anything the only prominent feeling seems to be trying to get me to kidnap people," I grumbled, not paying attention to the way he looked at me in contemplation, "did you like it?"

"Did I like what? Kidnapping people?"

"The kiss, did you like it?" I frowned, unsure thinking of how it happened and exactly how it ended, "I don't see why it would matter. Although, I'm not sure...it was my first kiss." His jaw ticked again, his cheek showing the visible tensing.

Unconsciously my hand reached up, smoothing my fingertips across his jawline with a slight pressure, automatically relaxing it, "it will be bad if you continue to clench your jaw too much, you shouldn't put so much pressure into your bite like this..."

My hand stayed where it was, feeling the line of his back jaw before dropping to my side limply, "what?" He had swallowed his adams apple bobbing as a result of my actions before he cleared his throat and looked away. "Did I overstep?"

He shook his head, his own hand moving up to his face to push his hair back for a second. The tips of his ears were pinkish unlike the rest of him, "no you're fine you just kind of surprised me a little," with a nod I apologized, "I'm sorry, I forget not everyone is as comfortable with touching like Enid is..."

"You didn't make me uncomfortable, just kind of shocked me is all..." I nodded, licking my lips as he looked around for a moment, "can I walk with you? If you're okay with that," contemplating it for a second I turned back to look at the way I came from, "of course, if you'd like to accompany me that is, I don't want to make you feel like you have to."

"If so, just not the way I came, preferably..."

I moved forward without letting him properly say anything else as he nodded, "oh, but you probably shouldn't touch anyone else like that, people really hate that."

"Oh, I apologize then..."

"No, I mean, I personally don't mind you um, hugging me and stuff," he followed after me with a nervous tone, matching my pace as he saddled up to my side, "but most people don't like that so..."

"I see, in that case I'll refrain from touching anyone else."