All For Not

Page 54

"Miss Feathertail?"

Pausing my steps I turned, quite slowly with a sigh from my lungs as the door shut under my hand, "Principal Weems?"

"I heard from a few of your peers that you've been acting differently, as of late. And Before you say anything, yes I have also noticed. Therefore I think it's time we have a talk..."

Swallowing I drug the moment out for as long as I could before speaking, "I was hoping this could wait a bit, at least until my parents had gone back home. Are you sure this is much needed?"

"I can assure you, Morella, this is very much needed. There are many things I would like to talk to you about, teach you if you will. But I can only do so if you let me." I sighed, my shoulders tense as I walked towards her desk to stand behind the guest chairs.

"In fact I'd like to start with your reaction to Miss Sinclair's mother," I frowned at the woman, responding aggravatedly, "I didn't do anything wrong in the rule book, nothing has happened. So I don't understand why you have called me here during class hours for a conversation about someone else's parental guardian."

"So you are implying that you don't feel like ripping her apart and burning her alive until the flesh melts from her bones?" My eyes flashed and I stopped breathing, listening to her intently.

"I am only here to help you, Morella, but to do so you need to trust me. And trust my words when I say I understand." I stood paralyzed as she spoke, "how would you know that..."

"Because your father felt the very same way when he fell in love with your mother, I don't mean Gomez and Morticia, I mean your real parents..." I sat down and she sighed, her shoulders no longer tense, "I am not in love with Enid, surely you are wrong..."

"It's not love that makes you feel this way, in part maybe it contributes but there are many forms of love," my eyes followed her heels as they walked away from me, only to return shortly after a locked cabinet was opened and closed, then shut and re-locked.

"This is everything I know."

"A journal?" She nodded as I reached to take it from her hands, "I am not proud of myself for studying your father the way I did and documenting everything about him but there has never been a lot known about your kind and thankfully now it will have some use."

"You used him as a lab rat, for what?"

"I wanted to know everything about him, I had no intention of ever sharing any of it but I still wrote it all down so I wouldn't forget him in a way when he left the school, and left me," my eyes drifted from the notebook at her weirdly worded sentence, "were you in love with him? Is that why?"

She laughed, "no, no. Your father and I grew up together."

"Will it tell me how to stop it?" She paused, "stop what exactly?"

"All of it..."

"There are many things to know about your kind Morella, the first thing about you that you should learn is there will never be a way to stop it, unless you..." She paused again and I could see her swallow, regretting this point in our conversation, "you mean there's nothing I can do..."

"Unless I take my life?"

"There is a lot you can do besides that, you just have to read the journal," my thumb rubbed the cover lightly as I thought about something, voicing those same thoughts a moment later, "you said he felt the same with my mother? What does that mean, for me?"

"It means," she let out a heavy sigh as she moved to take a seat behind her desk, "it means that the more you care for someone the stronger you will feel the need to protect them, to keep them to yourself. And it won't just be your roommate, anyone you develop feelings for, at any capacity as long as it's strong will cause you to become possessive in a way. From what your father has told me, most phoenixes are quite territorial."

"But it's about controlling the urge and having boundaries," I stopped her with a frown, "you're saying what I have been feeling is jealousy induced rage? Not because I don't like her mother... But because subconsciously I feel as if Enid is mine?"

She could barely shrug, the air between us quite awkward, "well I couldn't say for sure but I know your father has had the same problem, but you are not your father Morella," she tried and it was clear as she kept reaching out to me, "could it make me kill them?"

She didn't reply and I swallowed, slumping back into the chair as she watched me, "I insist that you take some time to learn these things and learn what helped your father cope and control it."

"I can't guarantee everything in there will be helpful but just, just read it. It could save your life and your friends lives."

"But this way maybe you could get to know him."