Love Me Once Again

Forty-one

I have seen how Chris worked before. He was meticulous, patient, cheerful, and very caring, no matter how difficult the patient was. I thought then, I would love to have such a nurse tending to me if I was ever hospitalised.

And he didn't complain. Like some of us do. But he never did. He would always tells of the good happy stuff. When he comes home, he is always cheerful and smiley no matter how tired he might be. And on top of that, he always cooks for us.

Sometimes, I would wonder, what it would be like to date him. But there have been instances where the guy is totally different to his girlfriend. He might not be so patient or tender or loving or considerate. Anyway, that's not for me to know.

I watched how he looks after his grandma and I felt ashamed. I don't think I might be able to do half of what he did.

His grandma was a lovely lady. I helped out too when he had to do something else, like cooking. Then I would sit down with her and read her a book. She seemed to enjoy it, or at least that's what I would like to think.

I felt a tap on my shoulder. I looked up and saw Chris smiling down at me.

"Lunch," he said.

So I put down the book, excused ourselves and went out. There was another day nurse who would come in the afternoon to help as well. Tomorrow, his parents would be coming over as well.

For lunch today, he had cooked baked rice. It looked and smelled delicious as always.

"The weather is very nice today. Why don't we take a walk outside after lunch?" he suggested.

I nodded. I had been here three days and we were mainly in the house if not I went for a walk outside myself. I strolled to the lake and around. There wasn't much things to explore actually and the next neighbour was at least five kilometers away. I'm not sure if I would really like to live here.

"Sorry, you've been here three days and I haven't really brought you around," he apologised as we strolled along the lake later.

"Oh no, please don't say that. I should be the one apologising for imposing on you!" I said instead.

He smiled. "But I hope it had been refreshing for you so far, though you had to read to Grandma."

"I actually enjoyed doing it," I said. "It is very therapeutic," I chuckled. "I can't believe it myself."

"That's great to hear."

We found a bench and sat down.

It was so quiet except for the birds flying overhead in the sky. The weather was nice too. If I close my eyes, I might just doze off.

"Have you spoken with Yesung?" he asked randomly.

"Huh?"

"Sorry, I sort of overheard you on the phone. I mean, I don't understand what you guys were talking about but it sounded like you guys were having some disagreement."

"Well.. he's partly the reason why I'm on a break," I admitted.

"How so?"

So I told him.

"But you knew this would happen eventually, didn't you?"

I bit my lower lip. "Yes, I suppose. I just.. was hoping it wouldn't happen," I shrugged.

"And so, are you blaming him now?"

I was surprised by his question.

"When I moved to Toronto with my ex, and then we were both so occupied with our own work, when we broke up, we started blaming each other for not paying attention to each other when we already seen it coming."