Meredith's Pain

19- the truth?

Authors Note- I'll tell you when to play the video
Arizona's POV
A: who?
I asked concerned, how many people had hurt this sweet girl. As I looked at her I could feel her becoming tense again.
A: Meredith please, I want to help you who has hurt you?
Meredith quickly shock her head,
M: no no. I'm not, no one's hurt me, I deserve what they are doing it's not abuse, I upset then it's what I deserve, it's punishment.
My heart broke as I heard Meredith talk how could she think that it was ok, that she deserved it.
A: Meredith I need you to listen to me ok
She just looked at me,
A: Meredith, you do not nor have you ever deserved for someone to hurt you physically, or emotionally or anything ok, it's not punishment it's abuse you do not deserve it ok my love.
I tried to explain, poor Meredith, what has happened that she thinks she deserves to be abused.
M: no no... it is what I deserve, My mother I'm always told me that. It's my fault, it's my fault
I felt Meredith start to shake on my lap again.

Meredith POV
M: it's my fault it's my fault
My head started to spin and I could suddenly see my father standing over me, suddenly I was only 3 again what was happening I could hear mum and dad yelling then suddenly he was standing over me, I could see him yelling but I couldn't here him what was happening, suddenly I felt his hand against my cheek, then again and again.
A: Meredith.
I could here Arizona's voice but my thought where filled with the images of my father, suddenly he morphed into my boyfriend from when I was 16. He was standing over me yelling at me, I could feel his hands hitting and kicking me,
M: I'm sorry, I'm sorry
I cried hoping it would go away, I knew I deserved everything these people had done but I wanted it to stop I wanted to do the right thing to, I squeezed my eyes closed hoping it would make it better
A: Meredith, look at me
I could here Arizona's voice but as I opened my eyes it wasn't Arizona sitting there, it was my mother.
E: you are an ungrateful idiot Meredith. No wonder your father left,
M: please I'm sorry stop
E: no, you ungrateful brat, you deserve everything that comes your way. Your so stupid.
I cried as I felt, someone rubbing my back.

Arizona POV:
M: I'm sorry, I know it's all my fault I'm sorry.
Meredith cried, I tired rubbing her back to calm her down but it didn't seem to work, I tried thinking about what else I could do to calm her down.
(Play song now)
A: I'll be your candle on the water,
My love for you will always burn.
I know you're lost and drifting
But the clouds are lifting.
Don't give up, you have somewhere to turn.
I'll be your candle on the water,
'Till every wave is warm and bright.
My soul is there beside you,
Let this candle guide you.
Soon you'll see a golden stream of light.
A cold and friendless tide has found you,
Don't let the stormy darkness pull you down.
I'll paint a ray of hope around you,
Circling in the air,
Lighted by a prayer.
I'll be your candle on the water,
This flame inside of me will grow.
Keep holding on, you'll make it,
Here's my hand so take it.
Look for me, reaching out to show,
As sure as rivers flow,
I'll never let you go.
I'll never let you go.
I'll never let you

As I finished singing to her I felt her stop shaking.

Meredith's POV
I looked up at Arizona and she was smiling at me, how could anyone be this nice I'm an idiot why was she being nice to me.
A: Meredith are you ok
I just nodded
A: please honey tell me what's going on.
I looked up at her how could I tell her,

Arizona's POV
As Meredith looked up at me my heart broke, the poor girls looked so broken.
A: Meredith, honey please tell me who hurt you.
As first meredith seemed to recoil into herself, but then she looked at me.
M: who hasn't...
I sighed as she answered the poor girl, life wouldn't give her a break.
A: meredith please tell me, what happened to you.
M: ok, but not here I'm to tired
Meredith sighed into my chest.
A: ok, that's fine let's go to an on call room you can sleep and then you can tell me what's wrong and I can help you.
Meredith just nodded.
Carefully we both made our way to an on call room, where I watched her transfer from her wheelchair into one of the beds. I was impressed by how easily she did it without any help but it also saddened me knowing that was most likely cause Derek refused to help her.
M: Zona
A: yeah?
M: could you...never mind
A: no Mer, what's up, what where you going to say
M: could you possibly sing again?
She asked turning away from me
A: of course, there is not need to feel bad, if it help, it helps.
She turned back to me and smiled, carefully I transferred into the bed opposite her so she could see me from where she was, and quickly sent Callie a message telling her where I was I didn't want he me to get worried.
(If you like you can play the song again)
A: I'll be your candle on the water,
My love for you will always burn...