Moonage Daydream [Stand-alone vers]

Firelight

Once that initial misery had worn away, Sirius found himself really enjoying the holidays— Christmas had been lovely. Without James and Peter, Sirius and Remus spent the feast with all of Lily's friends.
        Sirius had noticed, now that James was away, Lily seemed to approach him easier than usual—
        That whole group of girls was a welcome shift from the mess his own group had become. He'd gotten in some good digs at James with Marlene and the two of them loved commentating when Dorcas and Remus played chess.
         Remus seemed much happier too— Sirius hoped he was putting aside a little of his stress from the past couple months at least for the time being.
He had noticed the boy gripping at his own shoulders in recent weeks— He'd been slouching, muscles knotting.

         It was a telltale sign something was up with Remus— When he was feeling "less-than," he'd withdraw. Not just mentally but physically too— It had been a little less noticeable when he was a scrawny kid, but since then he'd grown into a tall, lanky sort of guy. Now when he did it, it seemed like he was trying to fit into a smaller version of himself—  
         Sirius understood the feeling— Sort of. Regulus was the same way— But Sirius couldn't be. Being small like that made him claustrophobic..
        The shift in James and Peter had left Remus grey in a way Sirius hadn't seen him for a while, but it seemed like the holidays had brought some color back to him. That was a comfort.

        The only thing that gave Sirius pause was the alone time he spent with Lily and Remus.. There was something that felt almost forced about the way Lily acted sometimes which he'd initially assumed was because Lily didn't really like him that much. He'd been James' other half until recently and he'd been happy playing second in command when the boy lashed out at Snape. It would make sense if Lily didn't find him all that charming— But soon, Sirius wasn't so sure.
        He began to realize it wasn't just Lily who seemed on edge when they hung out— It was Remus too. It felt almost like Remus was holding his breath when they spoke— Sirius didn't know how to explain what he meant by that and he worried maybe he was being crazy.. Because then Remus would be so close to him and it was like nothing was wrong at all.

        He'd wondered if he should ask Lily about it, but he wasn't super thrilled about the idea... She was a lot closer with Remus than she was with him and honestly it was the kind of thing that didn't feel like public information.
        Eventually he'd decided to just put it on the back burner— He really didn't want to cause any problems right now.

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        With Christmas over, soon it came time for New Year's Eve. Usually that would mean James singing entirely too loud in the dormitory and Peter mumbling about how he never followed his resolutions but that "maybe this would be the year."
        This year, it meant something different. It meant sitting in the common room, playing cards with Remus and the girls. Lily and Marlene were doubled over laughing as Sirius badly fucked up his turn which earned both a gentle thump on the head.
        Lily grinned at him, fond and mischievous which almost caught him off guard. He smiled himself, feeling a small tug in his chest just knowing things would be different between them once James was back.    
        "So what are all your resolutions?" Dorcas asked, slowly drawing a card from her hand. The group went quiet for a moment before Marlene stretched.
         "To get some more training in. I'm in this stupid slump at the moment." Mary nodded knowingly, leaning back against a poof on the floor.
         "God— You're tellin' me—" Sirius smiled at the both of them, shrugging his shoulders.
          "I think you're both brilliant beaters."
          The two girls shared a look, eyebrows raising before Mary tilted her head.
          "How sweet and kind, Black— Are you feeling well—?" She teased and Marlene snorted. Sirius grabbed one of the throw pillows from the couch, aiming it at Mary's head who held up a blocking arm. Lily giggled as Remus's shoulders shook and Sirius then realized it was his turn again. He drew a card.
            "I think my resolution is to quit moping around everywhere." Remus half joked, rubbing his tired eyes. Lily smiled kindly over, leaning a shoulder against his as she shook her head.
            "You've every reason to mope, Rem—" She said softly. "Potter's a prick." Marlene grinned, her hair getting in her eyes as she tilted her head.
            "'S got a nice ring to it, Lils— You should make pins." Mary nodded, mocking a serious and intellectual tone.
            "Yes, yes.. The alliteration is quite nice, isn't it?" Marlene giggled and Sirius saw Dorcas stifle a small smile. Sirius smiled too— A  little after the rest of them. He felt sort of out of place shitting on James with them— Not that he wasn't pretty heavy on their side of things, but it felt almost inappropriate for him to weigh in. Remus shook his head, grinning.
             "No, I know— I just feel like I should make the effort to— Dunno—" He pursed his lips, eyes on his cards. "I don't wanna spend all year in this low." Sirius bit his lip, scooting closer.
             "We'll sort James and Pete out, don't worry mate." Lily caught his eye and smiled as Marlene nodded with enthusiasm.
             "Yeah me and Mary'll kick their sorry asses. Count on it." Sirius snorted, about to say something else when Mary put down a card, throwing up her hands.
            "Hah! Unbeatable streak! You owe me a galleon, Marley darling." Marlene frowned, smacking the back of her head.
            "Whatever, skank. Dorcas could hand you your own ass in chess. Right, Cas?" Dorcas laughed, beginning to gather up the cards.
           "Certainly one way to put it—" Mary stuck her tongue out at the both of them, standing up.
           "Whatever, freak."
            Then she looked to the rest of the group, wiggling her fingers. "Alright— It's been fun, but I need sleep before practice tomorrow. Comin, Marls?" Marlene sighed, nodding and letting Mary pull her up. Sirius watched as Dorcas tossed Lily the deck of cards and got up herself. Lily frowned.
            "You too, Cas?"
            Dorcas gave a little shrug, glancing briefly at Marlene's retreating back before licking her lips.
           "I'm not a night owl like the rest of you." She said, smiling and tilting her head. Lily nodded, waving.
            "Goodnight then!"
            "Goodnight! See you tomorrow."